Derrick Thomas' Bastard Children

Top 10 Super Bowl Commericals

2009-02-01T23:51:00.000-08:00

10) Budwiser – Fetch

Because something had to be number ten. This one wasn’t too bad though.

9) Cash 4 Gold

This commercial would be rated higher if the company in question, Cash4Gold.com, was not a scam.

8) NBC – LMAO

Out of all the annoying network plugs that one has to endure every Super Bowl, I think this one was the best I’ve ever seen.

7) Bud Light – Drinkability 1

This commercial is number one because it completely sums up the economic crisis. And because I want to work for that company.

6) Audi – Chase

If I was not James Bond, I’d want to be that guy. Also points for the Tommy Boy reference (see: sign on movie theater).

5) Bud Light – Drinkability 2

This was one of the better drinkability commercials. However, since this particular commercial franchise has been used before, it suffered on the creativity scale.

4) Bud Light – Sweedish

I like Connan.

3) Doritos Crystal Ball

A great commercial and got added bonus points for making me think about the Office.

2) ETrade – Golden Pipes

This commercial represents the “Golf” ETrade commercial that aired before and after the Super Bowl. I couldn’t find a link to it so I went with the not quite as good but still good Golden Pipes commercial.

1) Teleflora

An absolutely fantastic commercial.

Worst Commercial(s)

There are two catagories for Worst Commercial: Local and National.

For those who were unlucky enough to be in the KC area to watch the Super Bowl, you got the pleasure of watching an NBC Action News commercial that relived, in detail, the Len Elliot game. The catch was about accuracy, which, apparently, Gary Lezak has. Sadly for him, I’ll never know because I refuse to watch his forecast ever again. EVER!

The Undesputed National Number One Super Bowl Commercial: NBC Heroes Football – Because anything that ends with John Elway being a hero sucks.

Andrew Wins... Bastard.

2009-02-01T23:07:00.000-08:00

So Andrew had a party last night to celebrate his inexplicable back-to-back championship. I was not invited.

However, I was able to obtain a video of Andrew's party. Andrew appeared to let out his true colors on stage. I always knew Andrew was a little ... umm ... off.

Congrats Andrew, you gay son of a bitch.

When Frogs Fly, The Chiefs Will Win the Superbowl

2009-01-28T00:15:00.000-08:00

For the last few days I’ve been trying to sum up my current feelings about the Kansas City Chiefs and had a lot of difficulty.

In January, the Chiefs have managed to reel one of the top, young management minds in the game – if not all of sports – and fire one of the worst coaches in franchise history.*

*The Chiefs have had nine head coaches and one interim head coach in franchise history including the Texans years. Below is how they stack up:

Schottenheimer (10 seasons): 101-58-1, .634
Stram (15 seasons): 124-76-10, .614
Vermeil (5 seasons): 44-36, .550
Cunningham (2 seasons): 16-16, .500
Mackovic (4 seasons): 30-34, .469
Levy (5 seasons): 31-42, .425
Wiggin (2.5 seasons): 11.24, .314
Edwards (3 seasons): 15-33, .313
Ganz (2 seasons): 8-22-1, .274
Bettis (interim HC in ‘77): 1-6, .143

You can give all the arguments you want about how he had to rebuild and that he inherited some kind of crazy mess from Vermeil and what not. That may be true, but Schottenheimer inherited a mess too. Stram built a team from the ground up and then managed to have a string of 10-straight winning seasons. Levy was a .500 coach after his first season with the Chiefs. Mackovic even won 10 games in his final season. Edwards’ teams got progressively worse. He swung and missed on Brodie Croyle; his defenses, his supposed strength, got worse every year; he turned LJ into a run-down, woman-beating low life, and then managed to be the first Chiefs head coach to have a two-win 16 game season and the first to only win two games and be employed for the full season. Outstanding work I must say.

However, it has become clear to me that my fandom is about to take a radical change. Since Scott Pioli has been hired there has been this new “professional” attitude in which all peoples who work at Arrowhead operate as if they have a brain. This is nice for two reasons: It at least gives the impression that the Chiefs know what they are doing and it makes Chris Mortensen look like a baboon.*

*Calling someone a “baboon” is an insult used far too infrequently.

But there is a hard reality to dealing with a franchise that operates close to the vest: There is nothing substantive to talk about. Normally information is free-flowing from Arrowhead, thus providing real events and facts in which to analyze and breakdown. But things are different now. We are forced to actually wait for the decision to occur before we can say anything. This provides this weird interim period in which rumors fly and people go crazy.

This period of time can be fun, but only for a while. Then it gets old. REALLY old. I’d like to compare it to a conversation I heard a five-year-old Autistic kid and one of his peers have during snack time this week at work. It went something like this:

A-kid: I like the red Spiderman.

Dumb kid*: I like the black Spiderman (This is a reference to the villain “Venom” in the Spiderman “graphic novels.” I’ve learned a lot about Spiderman recently…).

A-kid: I like the red Spiderman because he eats food like this. [He then proceeds to shove food in his mouth and shake his head back and forth while licking his fingers – a very complicated maneuver for the child.]

Dumb kid: I like the black Spiderman because he eats… he eats frogs.

A-kid: [Gives Dumb Kid a look of utter confusion.**]

Dumb kid: [Does not recognize A-kid’s dumbfounded look and elaborates.] I like the black Spiderman because he can fly.

A-kid: No. [A-kid is now disgusted by Dumb Kid’s lack of black Spiderman knowledge.] Black Spiderman can’t fly.

Dumb kid: Yes he can. He flies like a frog.

A-kid: [Scoffs at this notion with a condescending laugh.] Frogs can’t fly.

Dumb kid: Yes they can!

A-kid: No they can’t. Only dragons can fly.

*I’m not kidding about how stupid this kid is. For the sake of this Pozstricks I will call him “Calvin”. Calvin is a Title One kid. This means, in short, that there is nothing cognitively wrong with him (his brain is healthy), but there is an underlying situation (poverty, single-parent home, foster child, lived outside the country, etc.) that has delayed his development. Calvin is a misdiagnosed Title-kid. He’s an idiot, if you’re allowed to say that about a five-year-old. Calvin reminds me a lot of the fat, slow, stupid henchmen in movies whose only purpose is to be superhero fodder and slow him down a little bit to give the villain a chance to runaway or set up some kind of trap. He looks exactly like that – only he’s a five-year-old. I fully expect to see him in movies 25 years from now.

ANYWAY, everyday when Calvin arrives at school we go over to his cubby to put his coat and backpack away. While we are there, we stare at his nametag and go letter-by-letter how to spell his name. Generally, I point to the “C” and he will say “T”. I’ll point to the “A” and he will say “Q”. I’ll point to the “L” and he’ll say “S”. This goes on until we get to the “N” in which he says, “Seven.” So, if you’re keeping score at home, one should spell “Calvin” as such: T-Q-S-P-K-7. He does all of this truly believing he is correctly spelling his name. Mind you, we’ve done this exercise everyday since the middle of August and he has been seeing a therapist once a week all school year to specifically work on language skills such as recognizing his name. Ugh. Oh well, at least we know his problem isn’t his brain…

**One of the fantastic stereotypes about autistic kids is that they have limited facial expressions. And, like all stereotypes, this is true. Normally, this is something that I would hate because my whole communication pattern is predicated on non-verbal feedback. I NEED non-verbals or else I'll have a meltdown and runaway - it's true, ask Andrew. ANYWAY, this isn't a problem for me with autistic preschoolers because they think I'm cool anyway for being 16-feet tall (to them). That and half of them don't know how to talk yet. That also helps. The point I'm getting at here is that, even in their limited facial expressions, they are fantastically well-tailored for lighting up the "unintentional comedy odmeter" for various social situations. For instance, the A-kid in the story above's second (he has three) facial expression is one that is interchangeable for "you're an idiot" and "I don't understand" moments. However, the facial expression leans towards the "you're an idiot" side when it initially comes across his face. This is great. For instance, you can tell him his shirt is blue and he'll flash his second face and you'll instantly feel retarded. It's fantastic. It's even more fantastic when one of the middle-aged female teachers looks at him and says, "Don't I look younger today?" and he flashes the second face. It's beautiful. A-kids don't lie and it's wonderful. Except for when it's about you... then it sucks.

And there you have it – the Chiefs offseason so far.

One reporter – we’ll call him Mris Chortensen – makes some crazy claim like, “Mike Shanahan is the next Chiefs head coach.” And then this is reputed by another reporter who retorts with a half-truth, half-speculative comment: “That’s not true! Mike Shanahan is not the next Chiefs head coach… I think.”

So while the rest of us fans are sitting at bars and standing by the figurative water cooler debating the merits of whether or not certain species of dragons can fly, the Chiefs – more specifically Scott Pioli – is roaming the halls of Arrowhead hoarding information and actually following a plan.* And you know what? I’m okay with that. I’m alright debating what constitutes flying in relation to certain types of frogs or whether rumored head coach candidate Todd Haley is capable of leading the Chiefs or if Chris Mortensen is the worst reporter in the history of mankind if I know that somewhere inside Arrowhead Stadium, Scott Pioli is building a championship team. I can live with that.

*I think.

But what I do know for certain is that the quantity of my informed Chiefs opinions are going to decrease.

I also know jack shit about dragons.

Bad Things Come In Sevens: A League Trade Review

2009-01-27T06:06:00.000-08:00

Over the course of the entire fantasy football season, there was precisely seven (7!) trades made. That’s it. Very lame.

Anyway, I’m here to break them all down, in retrospect and in order of occurrence, so we can all see how Joel managed to make half of the trades in the league… and screw them up.

TRADE ONE

Weseloh GETS
Joseph Addai
Thomas Jones
Marques Colston

Schilb GETS
Chris Johnson
Donald Driver
Ryan Grant
Jamal Lewis

Thoughts:

I think Joel actually came away on top in this one. Johnson was a consistent performer as a rookie and is an excellent keeper prospect as a 12th round pick (undrafted). Worse case scenario, Johnson is an excellent flex option for next year. Grant struggled in the first half of the season, but redeemed himself a bit at the end of the year.

Joseph Addai and Marques Colston were never fully healthy all season. This hurt Jeff for much of the middle of the season. A healthy Addai and Colston and Jeff would have been tough to beat.

TRADE TWO

Weseloh GETS
Reggie Wayne
Larry Johnson

Allen GETS
Willis McGahee
Thomas Jones
Randy Moss

Thoughts:

Total crapshoot of a trade. Just… ugh. I can’t even analyze this. Next trade…

TRADE THREE

Allen GETS
Eddie Royal

C. Wessley GETS
Steven Jackson

Thoughts:

Ouch. This is not a good deal for Tony. He gave up on his biggest “boom” fantasy guy for a, at best, fourth option keeper. If you are keeping Eddie Royal at the end of this season, you’re not in good shape for the long haul. A steal for Chris.

TRADE FOUR

Weseloh GETS
LaDainian Tomlinson

C. Wessley GETS
Julius Jones
Marques Colston

Thoughts:

This was a gutsy trade by Chris, but he had nothing to lose at that point in the season. I do think that Chris pulled the trigger a little too late on LDT, otherwise he would have gotten a better haul than Colston and Jones. But I liked the idea. Weseloh, with exception to the final week of the season, never got “LDT” production for LDT. So giving up on a keepable guy in Colston (although round three is high) for a guy who can’t be kept and never gave you the punch you’re looking for is a bit of a disappointment. But I don’t blame him for trading for him either. Ultimately, I think this trade is a push.

TRADE FIVE

Weseloh GETS
Steve Smith
Donovan McNabb
LenDale White

Johnson GETS
Reggie Wayne
Matt Forte

Thoughts:

Erik essentially traded what was bench fodder for him for and excellent keeper prospect. McNabb and was his backup quarterback and wasting away on the bench. White was a guy who was either going to get 20 points or nothing at all and Smith was on a team that was running the ball far too well to be throwing it as often as Erik liked. So Erik traded one top level receiver for another and a couple of bench guys for an excellent keeper prospect in Matt Forte (8th round) who also helped earn the regular season championship. Erik really hit the trade out of the park and was the difference between him being the top seed and Jason being the second seed.

Jeff didn’t necessarily bomb on the trade, but he is developing a disturbing trend in trading great keeper guys (Chris Johnson and Matt Forte this season, Adrian Peterson last season).

TRADE SIX

Weseloh GETS
Chris Johnson
Ryan Grant
Brett Favre

Weseloh GETS
Donovan McNabb
LenDale White
Larry Johnson
Lance Moore

Thoughts:

Secretly, I think Joel thought he was getting Lance BASS in this traded, not Lance MOORE. Either way, Weseloh redeemed himself and got Johnson back, who should be an excellent keeper for him next year (I think I’ve said that three times already). Ryan Grant was a good back at the end of the season and Favre was in the playoff mix until the final week of the season.

Joel ended up with a solid Donovan McNabb and excellent postseason keeper. The same could be said about LenDale White. LJ and Lance Moore? No clue what getting they got him. There is always a “Lance Moore” in a Joel trade. Always.

TRADE SEVEN

Nielsen GETS
Wes Welker

Schilb GETS
T.J. Houshmandzadeh
Tyler Thigpen

Thoughts:

Aaaaaaand this is where Joel looks stupid. Sorry, but anybody who trades for Tyler Thigpen is an idiot. And you were doing so well Joel…

Welker went off for back-to-back 20 point efforts while T.J. found himself inactive. Thigpen also made no sense because he had just picked up Donovan McNabb and already had Ben Roethlisberger on his roster. Are you planning on keeping Tyler Thigpen, Joel? God, I hope so…

RE: Larry Fitzgerald

2009-01-26T06:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Larry Fitzgerald,

I’m sorry I pissed you off. No, really, I’m very, very, very sorry. I’ll never do it again.*

*No guarantees.

But you have to admit, you can’t blame me for doubting you. You’re not the only great receiver on that team. And the two quarterbacks you have throwing to you – Kurt Warner and Matt Leinart – are, well, Kurt Warner and Matt Leinart. How was I supposed to know Warner was going to play a full 16 game season for the first time since 2001? How was I supposed to know that Warner was going to magically learn how to “hold onto the football” for a full season? How was I supposed to know that the Cardinals were going to purposely abandon the running game for the entire season? And, most importantly, how was I supposed to know the Cardinals were going to bench their mega-million dollar franchise quarterback for a 37-year-old who everybody thought was washed up?

Now, I never believed you were a terrible wide receiver. I’ve always known you were talented. I remember watching you play for Pittsburgh in college and thinking you were going to make a very good pro. I would have taken a look at you for this year’s fantasy season if I didn’t feel like the combination of Braylon Edwards, Greg Jennings, Calvin Johnson and T.J. Houshmandzadeh was going to be good enough.*

*Which it was. Hey, 50/50 ain’t bad. And how was I supposed to know Mr. Championship and Edwards were going to bust? Nobody thought they were going to suck. Adding Wes Welker mid-season helped ease that pain. Sorry, back to my apology letter.

As for these playoffs, I must say you’ve been ridiculously good. Though, some of it is somewhat tainted because the rest of the NFC has not caught onto the fact that they should double and triple team you when Anquan Boldin is not on the field, but, still, you’ve made some insane plays this postseason. My favorite would have to be the first touchdown catch you made against the Eagles in the NFC title game – the one where you ran over about seven people on your way to the endzone. That was insane. The backflip on the flea-flicker touchdown was pretty nice too.

Please take the following YouTube clip of some of your greater moments as a tribute for my failure to see Kurt Warner turning into a better quarterback than Peyton Manning, Tom Brady and Joe Montana combine. I just didn’t see it coming.

Here’s to you, Larry -

Ben

Eagles/Vikings: 4th Quarter

2009-01-04T16:52:00.001-08:00

14:52
The Vikings are not good. The only reason why they are in this game is because, well, the Eagles are not very good either. As long as the Eagles win (so Peterson will be eliminated) I’ll be okay.

12:47

Here is something that I have learned: Blogging for a game with two bad teams is really hard.

The Vikings have no passing game, a terrible secondary, average (at best) linebackers and a horrible coach.

The Eagles have no true running game, a bad offensive line, no receivers, a mediocre defense and bad coaching.

Really, what we have here is two bad coaches with two bad teams in a bad conference. Yuck.

9:10

Jared Allen almost picked off a pass.

Brandon Albert > Jared Allen (because Albert would have made that catch…)

So, I just realized that Adrian Peterson’s touchdown run gets a touchdown bonus because it was 40+ yards. Damnit.

Adrian Peterson = 21 Fantasy Points

8:26

Are the Minnesota Vikings getting a new football stadium? Are they remodeling the Metrodome? I just realized the Twins are getting a new stadium. I wish the Royals were getting a new stadium. I wish these two teams didn’t suck (as Bernard Berrian just jumped offsides).

7:07

Aaaaaaaaand Sheldon Brown just dropped the easiest interception of his life. Jackson is terrible. Brown, apparently, is worse.

6:36

Brian Westbrook just took a screen pass 71 yards for a touchdown. I don’t even think he was touched, and it wasn’t because of good blocking necessarily. Westbrook only needed one block to get him in space and it was over from there. Wow. 23-14 Eagles.

6:24

Jackson almost threw another TAINT. Geez, he is bad.

6:19

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Jackson just threw into triple coverage. Fortunately for him Ed Reed was not back there.

5:12

HA! Celek just got jacked up! Bastard…

3:33

Jackson. Is. Awful.

2:54

Tevaris Jackson is Tyler Thigpen.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand Philly just recovered a fumble on a bad snap. Game. Over. Mercifully.

Yesterday’s games were much better. The Ravens game wasn’t close and neither was this one, even though the Vikings had a lead at one point and was within a field goal for most of the game.

2:33

So, I’ve been misspelling Jackson’s name wrong all game. It is actually T-A-R-V-A-R-I-S Jackson. Oops.

I was really kind of hoping someone would draft Jackson in our playoff draft – it didn’t happen. Although, I almost drafted him for Jeff.

Jeff – you better show up to the baseball draft. Really, you better show up.

2:22

I’m pretty sure I just saw Jason Whitlock on the sidelines.

1:55

David Akers: Fantasy hero.

So the Eagles will play the Giants next week in what will be the matchup of the most unpredictable bipolar quarterbacks in the league: Donovan McNabb and Eli Manning.

1:50

I understand Childress is looking for a big play, but putting Adrian Peterson in to return the kickoff seems a little stupid to me. You’re not going to win this game, why risk blowing out Peterson’s ACL on what will prove to be a meaningless kick return?

Again, I understand why he did it; I just think it’s stupid.

:00

Game is mercifully over. Eagles win. Next week’s games should be much better.

Eagles/Vikings: 3rd Quarter

2009-01-04T15:58:00.000-08:00

14:20

I’ve got a correction to make. I believe I assigned DeAngelo Williams to Erik in a previous post. Williams belongs to Jason. Oops. This makes this game’s outcome a little more tolerable.

I still home Minnesota loses.

12:52

Since when did Kleinsasser become the greatest Vikings target on the team? Sheesh.

11:40

In honor of the BCS graphic that just popped up: Go Ohio State.

10:38

Jackson fumbles because he held onto the ball for half an hour. He’s fortunate to recover his own fumble.

After a punt and penalty, the Vikings are backed up inside their own 10. This is the part where Brian Westbrook breaks one.

Also, I’d like to thank CBS and FOX for have far more diversity in commercials than NBC. It’s been slightly more tolerable. Slightly.

10:03

I’m pretty sure McNabb was just the benefactor of a Madden glitch and did not get sacked in the endzone on that last play. I swear I saw someone nail McNabb, but nothing happened.

9:08

McNabb completes a “big pass” to a no name receiver for a first down on third and 11. Big play. And while we’re at it, McNabb is a great thrower of the football.

7:50

It’s another Tom Selleck sighting!!! This time it’s a 19-yard reception.

I’ve now learned his name is Brent Celek. This is far less entertaining. I now hate Brent. Screw Brent and his great “catcher of the football” skills.

6:02

You know how people make a lot about how quarterback complete passes to a wide array of receivers? Why is that such a big complement to the quarterback? Shouldn’t it be a bigger slam on a defense’s secondary that another team can complete passes to their fifth, sixth, seventh even eighth targets? Why does this make the quarterback special? I don’t understand.

3:50

Good news: The Eagles eat a whole bunch of time on the drive. Bad news: The Eagles did not score. The Good news: Tavaris Jackson is still the Vikings quarterback. Bad news: Adrian Peterson is still the running back for the Vikings.

1:54

Dude, the Eagles have a guy on their team named “Gocong.” How awesome is that? New favorite player – screw that Celek guy. It appears Gocong is a great “tackler of the football player.” He is also a excellent “follower of the football” and “watcher of the quarterbacks eyes.”

1:21

Brad Childress is a joke of a coach. And I thought Herm was bad…

:44

Jared Allen forces a fumble that is eventually recovered by a Viking. So glad we don’t have that guy. Brandon Albert > Jared Allen

:40

Via Pro Football Talk

“Meanwhile, a league source tells us that former Chiefs G.M. Carl Peterson attended Sunday’s playoff game, and that Peterson was “loving up to Ross” before the opening kickoff.
Earlier on Sunday, Adam Schefter of NFL Network reported that multiple league insiders are convinced that Peterson will join the Dolphins after Ross assumes control of the team.
And, if Peterson is going to be there, it really doesn’t make sense for Parcells to stick around.
Unless Peterson is going to be picking up the Tuna’s dry cleaning. Or giving Parcells lessons in how to spend 20 years with the same team and never go to the Super Bowl.”

So there you go. The Dolphins are idiots.

Eagles/Vikings: 2nd Quarter

2009-01-04T15:11:00.000-08:00

Scoring Update Through Halftime

Erik

Peyton Manning = 21 (L)
Michael Turner = 8 (L)
Adrian Peterson = 18
Le’Ron McClain = 11 (W)
Reggie Wayne = 26 (L)
Roddy White = 14 (L)
Eagles = 8
Adam Vinatieri = 5 (L)

Total = 111

Jason

Kurt Warner = 16 (W)
Brian Westbrook = 2
Derrick Mason = 7 (W)
Vincent Jackson = 0 (W)
Bernard Berrian = 3
Visanthe Shiancoe = 0
Vikings = 3
David Akers = 10

Total = 42

Ben

Philip Rivers = 7 (W)
LDT = 8 (W)
Ronnie Brown = 11 (L)
Chris Chambers = 5 (W)
Mark Clayton = 1 (W)
Dallas Clark = 3 (L)
Ravens = 25 (W)
Nate Kaeding = 4 (W)

Total = 64

Andrew

Donovan McNabb = 2
Willis McGahee = 6 (W)
Joseph Addai = 12 (L)
Anthony Gonzalez = 9 (L)
Larry Fitzgerald = 22 (W)
Anquan Boldin = 16 (W)
Anthony Fasano = 0 (L)
Jason Elam = 5 (L)

Total = 72
______________

Chris

Kurt Warner = 16 (W)
Michael Turner = 8 (L)
Adrian Peterson = 18
Ronnie Brown = 11 (L)
Anquan Boldin = 16 (W)
Vincent Jackson = 0 (W)
Vicente Shiancoe = 0
Colts = 7 (L)

Total = 76

Jeff

Peyton Manning = 21 (L)
Joseph Addai = 12 (L)
LDT = 8 (W)
Le’Ron McClain = 11 (W)
Reggie Wayne = 26 (L)
Bernard Berrian = 3
Anthony Fasano = 0 (L)
Eagles = 8
David Akers = 10

Total = 99

Tony

Joe Flacco = 11 (W)
Willis McGahee = 6 (W)
Ricky Williams = 1 (L)
Larry Fitzgerald = 22 (W)
Steve Breaston = 3 (W)
Dallas Clark = 3 (L)
Ryan Longwell = 2

Total = 42

Joel

Philip Rivers = 7 (W)
Brian Westbrook = 2
Correll Buckhalter = 2
Jerious Norwood = 3 (L)
Roddy White = 14 (L)
Derrick Mason = 7 (W)
David Martin = 1 (L)
Ravens = 25 (W)
Adam Vinatieri = 5 (L)

Total = 66

14:27

The Vikings have ZERO offense. If you need film of what Tyler Thigpen would look like in a playoff game, here it is.

It should be noted that Jackson just completed a 10-yard pass for a first down on a third down play. But you shouldn’t read into that – Thigpen would suck in the playoffs.

12:18

So, Jackson just threw a pass down field that landed about five yards short and to the right of the nearest human being (which happened to be an Eagle). Yeesh that was a bad throw.

12:14

The Eagles are bailing the Vikings out with lazy third down play. This time it is pass interference.

11:26

Asante Samuel is down with an injury. I wish we would have signed that guy. Imagine if we would have signed him, somehow resigned Jared Allen (although it would have been interesting if we would have franchised him, he didn’t play and then Peterson got fired… would have resigned with us?) and then had both Brandon Flowers and Carr in the draft. The defense would look a lot better right now. The linebackers would still suck ass, but we would look better.

11:05

Peterson breaks off a long touchdown run and appeared to bait the Eagles defender by holding out the football at around the 10-yardline. He didn’t actually bait him, but he just kind of hung the ball out there while he was looking over his shoulder to see who was coming. What a run. That kid is a beast. 7-6 Vikings.

10:53

Philly is getting nothing on the ground in this game. Minus the Buckhalter carry, the Eagles have two yards rushing. Two. Two rushing yards in 20 minutes of play. This plays out to 6 yards rushing (if you take out the Buckhalter carry). This is not a good sign.

But he Buckhalter carry did happen. I guess if you’re an Eagle fan, you can rest on the knowledge that a long run is plausible.

10:24

I know this is going to sound weird, but what would McNabb be like if he had a running game? Westbrook is a nice back, but he’s not a true running back – he’s a pass catching back, a get in space back.

It is noted that Westbrook missed two games (but he always seems to miss two games at least) – Westbrook had less than 1000 yards rushing this season. He averaged just 67 yards per game on the ground. The Eagles could really use a true run game and have packages with that back – the true back – with Westbrook somewhere in the formation. That would seem deadly to me.

9:21

DeSean Jackson. Where the crap did he come from. I know he was good in college and everything, but he wasn’t a true receiver, he was just REALLY fast. I’m surprised by the season he is having this year.

7:29

David Akers is a fantasy beast, hitting another field goal to give the Eagles a 9-7 lead. Akers now has 10 fantasy points.

6:43

Jackson comes through with a TAINT (Touchdown After Interception) and the Eagles are now up 16-7. What a terrible throw. So glad the Chiefs didn’t sign Asante Samuel.

6:27

Jared Allen leads all active players under the age of 27 in sacks. He is third in sacks amongst active players under 30 (behind Julius Peppers, age28, and Dwight Freeney, also 28). Freeney and Peppers each have 70.5 sacks through their age 28 season. Allen will be 27 next season. Think about this for a minute: At his current pace, Allen will have 88.5 sacks after his age 28 season. I hope Brandon Albert is worth it.

And another thing: Jared Allen is one hell of a long snapper.

3:40

Jackson is doing everything he can to make up for the terrible TAINT he threw. Back-to-back first down throws and a nice first down run puts the Vikings in a position to retake the lead. We’ll see how this goes…

2:25

Chester Taylor has been crazy good in this game.

Chester Taylor the last two seasons = 1243 yards rushing on 258 carries
Larry Johnson the last two seasons = 1433 yards rushing on 351 carries

1:55

I have a feeling that Philip Rivers is going to be my new John Elway if the Chargers win the Super Bowl this season. I really feel that I’m going to hate that guy passionately. And, yes, this means I’m not keeping him for next season even though he was a top five quarterback this year and I got him in the 11th round.

Speaking of hate, Adrian Peterson has just rushed for his second touchdown of the game. Bastardo. 18 fantasy points for Adrian Peterson. The good news is that Adrian Peterson is an eighth round keeper this year. Excellent trade last season Jeff. I. Hate. Erik.

1:40

I really need Donovan McNabb to win this game. Otherwise, Erik’s combination of Peterson and DeAngelo Williams is going to put this thing WAY out of reach.

1:26

A Tom Selick sighting!

And Donovan McNabb just threw and interception! Yipee!!!

1:00

I imagine the Vikings run out the clock to get to halftime. Son of bitch, the Vikings may actually win this game. Not good new, no, not good news at all.

:36

Brad Childress just threw the ball on second down. Idiot. I hope DeSean Jackson returns the punt for a touchdown.

He doesn’t.

:18

I’m pretty sure Joe Buck is convinced David Akers is going to hit a 60-yard field goal. Idiot. I hope Akers kicks him in the face.

He doesn’t.

Eagles/Vikings: 1st Quarter

2009-01-04T14:23:00.001-08:00

Point Update (Through 1st Quarter of Eagles/Vikings Game)

Erik

Peyton Manning = 21 (L)
Michael Turner = 8 (L)
Adrian Peterson = 0
Le’Ron McClain = 11 (W)
Reggie Wayne = 26 (L)
Roddy White = 14 (L)
Eagles = 0
Adam Vinatieri = 5 (L)

Total = 85

Jason

Kurt Warner = 16 (W)
Brian Westbrook = 0
Derrick Mason = 7 (W)
Vincent Jackson = 0 (W)
Bernard Berrian = 0
Visanthe Shiancoe = 0
Vikings = 1
David Akers = 8

Total = 33

Ben

Philip Rivers = 7 (W)
LDT = 8 (W)
Ronnie Brown = 11 (L)
Chris Chambers = 5 (W)
Mark Clayton = 1 (W)
Dallas Clark = 3 (L)
Ravens = 25 (W)
Nate Kaeding = 4 (W)

Total = 64

Andrew

Donovan McNabb = 1
Willis McGahee = 6 (W)
Joseph Addai = 12 (L)
Anthony Gonzalez = 9 (L)
Larry Fitzgerald = 22 (W)
Anquan Boldin = 16 (W)
Anthony Fasano = 0 (L)
Jason Elam = 5 (L)

Total = 71
______________

Chris

Kurt Warner = 16 (W)
Michael Turner = 8 (L)
Adrian Peterson = 0
Ronnie Brown = 11 (L)
Anquan Boldin = 16 (W)
Vincent Jackson = 0 (W)
Vicente Shiancoe = 0
Colts = 7 (L)

Total = 58

Jeff

Peyton Manning = 21 (L)
Joseph Addai = 12 (L)
LDT = 8 (W)
Le’Ron McClain = 11 (W)
Reggie Wayne = 26 (L)
Bernard Berrian = 0
Anthony Fasano = 0 (L)
Eagles = 0
David Akers = 8

Total = 86

Tony

Joe Flacco = 11 (W)
Willis McGahee = 6 (W)
Ricky Williams = 1 (L)
Larry Fitzgerald = 22 (W)
Steve Breaston = 3 (W)
Dallas Clark = 3 (L)
Ryan Longwell = 0

Total = 40

Joel

Philip Rivers = 7 (W)
Brian Westbrook = 0
Correll Buckhalter = 2
Jerious Norwood = 3 (L)
Roddy White = 14 (L)
Derrick Mason = 7 (W)
David Martin = 1 (L)
Ravens = 25 (W)
Adam Vinatieri = 5 (L)

Total = 64

15:00

Take this for what it is worth (from yesterday): http://myespn.go.com/blogs/afcwest/0-3-1255/AFC-West-news-and-notes.html

“The Chiefs could be emerging as the favorites to land Pioli. The team is concentrating on him. Kansas City has other executives on its radar, but is focusing on Pioli.”

14:40

Did we ever find out if the Vikings game sold out or not? It seems full…

14:03

Ed Reed would have picked that pass off. First down Philly.

12:39

So much for Pat Williams being out. The Vikings are getting all kinds of pressure.

12:33

Fourth and inches leads to a punt. Here comes Peterson…

What is the deal with Dustin Colquitt punting for every team in the playoffs? Seriously, this is nuts. I will say that I am not looking forward to a 15 minute segment on ESPN about why the punting has been so good in these playoffs.

12:08

Wow. Tevaris Jackson sucks. Ed Reed DEFINITELY would have picked that off.

11:14

I kind of want to see Matt Cassel go to Minnesota. That would be a fun team to watch if they could get someone other than Gus Ferotte or Jackson QBing for them.

Think they’ll do a Tyler Thigpen for Jared Allen trade?

9:52

Chester Taylor is going nuts so far on the Vikings first possession.

9:01

I hate Joe Buck. I hate Joe Buck so much that I would listen to Phil Simms for hours on end for the rest of my life if it meant I never heard Joe Buck’s voice again.

8:22

DeSean Jackson with a great punt return to set up the Eagles nicely in Viking territory.

Ed Reed would taken it back…

7:31

Jared Allen with the “sack.” God I miss that guy… He was a fantastic long snapper.

6:49

McNabb pulls off an Eli Manning In The Super Bowl move and somehow avoids the sack. Only this time his pass was incomplete and Eagles were penalized for holding.

Akers hits the field goal and gives the Eagles the 3-0 lead.

I want to reiterate how excited I am that Fox will no longer be showing BCS games after this year. I hate Fox’ coverage of the BCS. However, I’m not looking forward to the ESPN overload that is going to come with this. Diversity is nice when the other people know what they are doing, which sadly is nobody right now. Maybe CBS. They have Gus Johnson – I love that guy.

I’ve always secretly (not really secretly…) that Gus was calling the NCAA Championship game last year when Chalmers hit that shot. That would have been an amazing call. Still, I’m not upset. CHAMPIONSHIP!

And note to Erik: National Championship >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>…> Big XII North Division Title

6:22

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand Adrian Peterson is hurt.

5:56

Chester Taylor > Adrian Peterson … So far in this game that is.

5:13

A Bernard Berrian sighting. One offensive lineman was very pleased with this development and did a bit of jig to celebrate.

4:44

Tyler Thigpen > Tevaris Jackson

4:17

Matt Blundin > Tevaris Jackson

3:48
Marques Hagans > Tevaris Jackson
2:41

Vikings will punt – again. DeSean Jackson is preparing for another return, but the punt goes out of bounds at the 25. Clearly, Dustin Colquitt has chosen NOT to punt for the Vikings. Everybody else? Yes. Vikings? No. Why? Tevaris Jackson.

1:47

Correll Buckhalter has more rushing yards than Brian Westbrook and Adrian Peterson combine.

Correll Buckhalter = 27 yards
Peterson, Westbrook and Chester Taylor = 28 yards

Oh, and Buckhalter has just one carry. Figures.

:06

Vikings call a timeout to preserve time on the clock. Or something…

:02

Akers hits a field goal to make it 6-0. Fantasy!!!!!!!!!!!!! But not for me…

Ravens/Dolphins: 4th Quarter

2009-01-04T12:55:00.000-08:00

14:37

This game is over unless there is some kind of crazy momentum changes. Ed Hochuli is reffing the game…

14:08

How Devon Bess was not drafted last April is beyond me. I know the Chiefs could use him.

13:12

RONNIE BROWN!!! WHAT A CATCH!!! A catch that rivals Larry Fitzgerald’s one from yesterday. Maybe even more impressive because he’s a running back and it was one handed – but he wasn’t double-covered (or fucked) so…

The extra point is blocked. Figures. TWO POINTS FOR THE RAVENS DEFENSE/SPECIAL TEAMS!

I’m pretty sure the 50-year-old couple in the Viagra commercial just had sex in the elevator. I’m now throwing up my Subway.

I just realized that Ed Reed has more fantasy points (10) than any other player on my team (Rivers has 7 and is the next highest). At least that was the situation until Ronnie Brown’s touchdown catch. I think Brown has 11 points now.

Yep, he does.

13:01

Joe Flacco just barely missed Mark Clayton on a deep pass. A touchdown there, or even just a completion, would have been the nail in the coffin in this game.

I also find it interesting that the Ravens were confident enough to have Flacco air it out in that situation.

12:09

For some reason the Ravens went deep on third and medium. I don’t understand that. Now the Dolphins get the ball back. Here comes another Ed Reed pick…

The Ravens defense is single handedly keeping me just out of reach of relevance in these fantasy playoffs. Thank you, Ed Reed.

11:52

Ed Reed ALMOST had his third interception. Geez that guy is everywhere!

11:38

David Martin has a 13-yard catch to provide one fantasy point. Well done. Ed Reed is better than you.

11:08

Pennington with another first down pass. The last time Pennington looked like he was on a roll he got picked off by Reed.

A touchdown by Miami would make this game very interesting.

9:22

I’m aware that Ricky Williams has been on some bad teams and was out of the league for a little while, but is this really only his second playoff game? That is surprising.

8:34

Ginn can’t get a hold of the handoff on the end-around. Now it’s third and 25. The third down pass is incomplete and the Dolphins have to punt. I think this pretty much ends the game unless the Ravens turn it over or have another quick three and out on this drive.

4:42

Willis McGahee with a long run to the Miami 5. Baring a turnover, the game is over with a touchdown here (if it’s not over already).

3:53

Joe Flacco scores on a quarterback draw. Game is over. Literally. They’ve stopped play and told everyone to go home.

2:00

Can the NFL please have more than just one NFL Shop commercial please? I get it, he’s a Packers fan. Next commercial, please.

1:17

Okay, so they’re doing the knee thing. I’ve got nothing else to say. I’ll be back for the afternoon game.

Ravens/Dolphins: 3rd Quarter

2009-01-04T12:15:00.001-08:00

So, I really want to see Baltimore play the Steelers now. That would be a fantastic game. Baltimore would have to beat Tennessee next week (assuming they win this week and the Steelers beat the Chargers) to set that matchup. The AFC is stacked with insane defense.

Point Totals Through the Third Quarter

Erik

Peyton Manning = 21 (L)
Michael Turner = 8 (L)
Adrian Peterson
Le’Ron McClain = 9
Reggie Wayne = 26 (L)
Roddy White = 14 (L)
Eagles
Adam Vinatieri = 5 (L)

Total = 83

Jason

Kurt Warner = 16 (W)
Brian Westbrook
Derrick Mason = 7
Vincent Jackson = 0 (W)
Bernard Berrian
Visanthe Shiancoe
Vikings
David Akers

Total = 23

Ben

Philip Rivers = 7 (W)
LDT = 8 (W)
Ronnie Brown = 4
Chris Chambers = 5 (W)
Mark Clayton = 1
Dallas Clark = 3 (L)
Ravens = 18
Nate Kaeding = 4 (W)

Total = 50

Andrew

Donovan McNabb
Willis McGahee = 0
Joseph Addai = 12 (L)
Anthony Gonzalez = 9 (L)
Larry Fitzgerald = 22 (W)
Anquan Boldin = 16 (W)
Anthony Fasano = 0
Jason Elam = 5 (L)

Total = 64
______________

Chris

Kurt Warner = 16 (W)
Michael Turner = 8 (L)
Adrian Peterson
Ronnie Brown = 4
Anquan Boldin = 16 (W)
Vincent Jackson = 0 (W)
Vicente Shiancoe
Colts = 7 (L)

Total = 51

Jeff

Peyton Manning = 21 (L)
Joseph Addai = 12 (L)
LDT = 8 (W)
Le’Ron McClain = 9
Reggie Wayne = 26 (L)
Bernard Berrian
Anthony Fasano = 0
Eagles
David Akers

Total = 76

Tony

Joe Flacco =5
Willis McGahee = 0
Ricky Williams = 1
Larry Fitzgerald = 22 (W)
Steve Breaston = 3 (W)
Dallas Clark = 3 (L)
Ryan Longwell

Total = 34

Joel

Philip Rivers = 7 (W)
Brian Westbrook
Correll Buckhalter
Jerious Norwood = 3 (L)
Roddy White = 14 (L)
Derrick Mason = 7
David Martin = 0
Ravens = 18
Adam Vinatieri = 5 (L)

Total = 54

15:00

Ronnie Brown just died. Nagta, or whatever his name is, just destroyed Ronnie Brown.

13:27

Fabian Washington picks off Chad Pennington. Two points for me! I’m still losing by 35…

The Ravens defense is good.

12:39

Joe Flacco can’t thrown on the run very well. This is followed by another incomplete pass to force a Ravens punt.

And the ball is downed at the one.

Prediction: Touchdown Ravens. Or a safety. One of the two.

12:11

Long running play gets the Dolphins out of safety range… for now.

11:30

Ricky Williams rolled out as if he were going to throw a pass only to tuck it and run. Sadly, that is really their best option at this point.

This is followed by another Pennington pass that is almost picked off. On the following play he is sacked and then throws and incompletion. The incompletion is followed by an end-around that is fumbled and recovered by Suggs. Ravens Defense: Brick Wall.

9:33

This Ravens defense looks alarmingly like the one that won the Super Bowl. The difference is this team has a rookie quarterback. I feel this will be their undoing at some point.

7:35

John McClain busts up the middle for a nine-yard touchdown run and the Ravens have a 20-3 lead. This is absolute domination by the Ravens for the last quarter and a half.

7:15

Ronnie Brown doubles his fantasy output with a 23-yard catch and run. He has done nothing in this game. The Ravens have been that good.

6:09

Chad Pennington avoids another sack and completes a first down pass to Ted Ginn Jr. Pennington follows that up with another completion to Ginn. The no huddle offense seems to have made a difference, as Pennington completes his third consecutive pass to Ginn. It is at this point I am asking myself, “Why didn’t I draft Ginn?”

3:21

Ginn makes another catch. Where has this been all day?

2:36

Good news for David Martin owners: He caught a pass. Bad news: He lost three yards. Worst news: You own David Martin.

1:52

ED REED!!! Reed makes another interception, but appears to have hurt his knee on the tackle (I don’t think knees are supposed to bend like that – you know, sideways). Still… TWO FANTASY POINTS FOR ME!!!

Ravens defense now has 18 fantasy points.

:00

The Ravens run the ball on a third and five. It appears they have no desire to throw the ball the rest of the game. Don’t blame them.

20-3 Ravens. Fourth quarter coming up…

Ravens/Dolphins: 2nd Quarter

2009-01-04T11:30:00.001-08:00

15:00

Ed Reed just picked off Joe Flacco. Sadly, he was out of bounds.

14:41

Flacco seems like he’s a half-a-second behind on his decision making. You can tell he’s still trying to adjust to the speed of the game.

Although he just threw a nice first down pass to Clayton.

13:01

Joe Flacco nearly throws an interception. The analysis from Phil Simms? “That wasn’t a good decision at all.” Really? I bet if the Dolphins would have made the interception, it would have been a “big play.” Just a hunch.

Baltimore punts and Miami will start from their own 20. I predict no one scores until early in the fourth quarter. This is going to be a long “middle game”, but should provide a good finish.

Or maybe not.

10:40

Cobbs is a great, “Catcher of the football.” He also, “Runs with a purpose.” This, folks, is analysis we need.

9:37

Did you know that the Dolphins were 1-15 last year? I didn’t know that. And with that, Baltimore picks off a pass and returns it to midfield. That was a big play. …

8:56

Points update:

Derrick Mason = 4
Le’Ron “John” McClain = 1
Ronnie Brown = 1
Joe Flacco = 3
Mark Clayton = 1
Willis McGahee = 0
Ricky Williams = 0
David Martin = 0

7:22

Ravens run the Wildcat. Ugh. Punt.

Excellent play by some guy I’ve never heard of to down the ball inside the 10. Dustin Colquitt is all over the place in these playoffs.

6:06

Hey, you know who is good? The Ravens defense. Geez.

4:49

I’ve been thinking about this and if Ed Hochuli’s unit really is the number one unit in the NFL by grade, does the NFL need some new refs?

Yes. The answer is yes.

3:32

Wildcat equals four(ish) yards. The is the best play of the day for the Wildcat. I really hate this formation, just incase you couldn’t tell.

Although, Donte Hall in his prime would have been awesome at this.

2:32

ED REED!!! TOUCHDOWN!!! FANTASY POINTS FOR ME!!! I’M LOSING BADLY, BUT I DON’T CARE!!! ED REED!!!

Ed Reed. Three playoff games, four picks. Note to self: Don’t throw anywhere near Ed Reed. Ever. Don’t try. Not worth it. Ed Reed is a touchdown machine… 11 career touchdowns? As a safety? Wow.

Ed Reed is God… At least until he screws something up.

2:23

Terrell Suggs with the sack. Now may be a good time to mention that Suggs is a free agent after the season.

2:00

Fantasy Point Update:

Ravens: 11 points
Highest Point Getter Minus The Ravens On Ben’s Team: Philip Rivers = 7

Ouch.

1:50

A failed screen attempt gives Baltimore a chance to add to their 10-3 lead. Dustin Colquitt with another insane punt and the Ravens will take over at their own 40.

1:25

Joe Flacco has all the time in the world. It looks like a Chiefs game with how terrible the Dolphins pass rush is.

:35

Derrick Mason with a long reception that is going to be reviewed. Should stand. Joe Flacco has a crazy strong arm.

And guess what, “This is a big play in this game.” Thank you, Phil Simms. Thank you.

:31

A curious draw call. It would seem to me you’d throw something over the middle or something like that on that play. Oh well.

:21

Flacco has to throw it away on a third down play, which leads to a Matt Stover field goal. 13-3 Ravens. And, “That was a big three points in a game like this.” Ugh. I’d like Simms better if he didn’t feel the need to comment on the obvious before giving legitimate analysis.

:09

Miami runs a play that ends up losing three yards. And that ends the half. Miami has gone 10 postseason quarters without a touchdown. I have a hard time seeing one coming on the offensive side with the way the Ravens are playing defense.

:00

Re-runs of “NCAA on CBS” commercials with the final line “And Kansas takes the title” is fantastic. Don’t you agree, Erik? Or did the one time you see them, Mario Chalmers got burned for a touchdown?

Ravens/Dolphins: 1st Quarter

2009-01-04T10:37:00.001-08:00

13:41

Flacco is officially better than Matt Ryan because he did not get his first pass picked off. You heard it here first folks: Flacco is better than Ryan.

13:11

“While watching this drive, I see no reason why Baltimore will lose this game.”

This is the sentence I had completed just before Baltimore fumbled the ball away to the Dolphins.

12:22

Just so you know, I just got back from Subway so post this quarter may be infrequent as I will be eating.

10:28

This week we learned former Bronco offensive tackle Matt Lepsis used to play games high on pot. Do you think Ricky Williams is high right now, or is that just a constant state for him at this point?

9:03

I’m not a big fan of Phil Sims. I know a lot of people are, but I have a hard time listening to him. It just something about his speech pattern and voice that makes me want to mute the TV. With that said, he is one of the better color analysts on TV.

8:18

Miami can’t convert of 3rd and goal and is forced to kick a field goal. Big stop by Baltimore. 3-0 Miami. It will be interesting to see if Baltimore decides to throw a little more on this drive or stick with the 95% run calls.

7:17

Ed Hochuli!!!

6:31

So, Le’Ron McClain appeared to be pointing to something while in his stance before the snap of the ball. Explain something to me McClain: Who the hell on your team is going to see you pointing at something when you are seven yards behind the line of scrimmage and the rest of the team has their backs to you? Just a question.

If you type “McClain” enough, it makes you want to watch “Die Hard.” It’s true. Try it.

4:16

Remember when Todd Heap was supposed to be better than Tony Gonzalez? Yep, that didn’t happen. Nice catch and run though to give Baltimore a first and goal from the 5.

2:47

Ravens can’t convert on three plays from the five yard line. Stove hits a field goal to tie the game at three.

Finally, a commercial break so I can finish my sandwich…

1:10

Hey Dolphins: Stop running the Wildcat. It’s not working.

Dolphins punt and the Ravens will take over from their own 25.

So far, I’ve been more impressed by Flacco in his playoff debut than Ryan. He seems more confident and deliberate in what he is doing early on. Although, that might have something to do with not throwing an interception on the first pass of the game. The Ravens need to add another receiver or two to help Flacco out this offseason.

:12

I swear I’ve seen McCain before, but I don’t remember where…

Colts/Chargers: 1st Quarter

2009-01-03T17:44:00.001-08:00

Pregame:
Erik

Peyton Manning
Michael Turner = 10 (L)
Reggie Wayne
Roddy White = 14 (L)
Adam Vinatieri

Total = 24

Jason

Kurt Warner = 16 (W)
Vincent Jackson

Total = 16

Ben

Philip Rivers
LDT
Chris Chambers
Dallas Clark
Nate Kaeding

Andrew

Joseph Addai
Anthony Gonzalez
Larry Fitzgerald = 22 (W)
Anquan Boldin = 16 (W)
Jason Elam = 5 (L)

Total = 43
______________

Chris

Kurt Warner = 16 (W)
Michael Turner = 10 (L)
Anquan Boldin = 16 (W)
Vincent Jackson
Colts

Total = 42

Jeff

Peyton Manning
Joseph Addai
LDT
Reggie Wayne

Tony

Larry Fitzgerald = 22 (W)
Steve Breaston = 3 (W)
Dallas Clark

Total = 25

Joel

Philip Rivers
Jerious Norwood = 3 (W)
Roddy White = 14 (W)
Adam Vinatieri

Total = 17

Fantastic. I hate my life.

In other news, listening to Jerome Bettis and Matt Millen is difficult. VERY difficult.

NBC’s Monster 3D Event thingy = Why nobody watches NBC (except for The Office and Heroes). Seriously, Keith and Dan couldn’t contain their sarcasm about how ridiculous this is. This is why I illegally download things. I have no problems stealing from stupid people.

I hate Faith Hill.

And with that: GO PHILIP RIVERS!!!!

15:00

Football players in pads and helmet riding stationary bikes look funny. I can sense Darren Sproles having a huge game. Colts will win though. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand here comes LDT………

14:45

LDT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God, every time he gets hit I think about his groin… That sounds gay. There are going to be a lot of groin jokes in the game.

13:30

As long as Vincent Jackson doesn’t touch the ball, I’ll be okay. I swear to God I’ll be okay…

12:37

I’d really appreciate it if the SD o-line would block. Bastardos. Chargers punt, Colts ball. COME ON DALLAS CLARK!!!

12:07

Peyton Manning completed 81.8% of his passes in December. Holy shit.

11:48

I’d really appreciate it if anybody associated with Andrew’s fantasy team sucked. No more Anthony Gonzalez, please.

10:32

Where’s Ed Hochuli?

9:49

Manning had Wayne WIDE open for a touchdown, but Wayne was expecting the ball to be somewhere else. Whew….

This is followed by a Wayne drop, which led to a Colts punt. COME ON LDT!!! OR RIVERS!!! OR CHAMBERS!!!

8:37

Three and out for San Diego. Damn Norv Turner.

Additionally, it appears Dustin Colquitt has been traded to San Diego. Crazy punts.

7:57

A Dallas Clark sighting. I would have appreciated it if that was a 85 yard touchdown.

And freaking Anthony Gonzalez…

4:37

I hate Andrew. I hate Anthony Gonzalez. I think now would be a good time to mention that I drafted Gonzalez in September. Ugh.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand he just caught another pass at the three yard line.

2:59

Touchdown Addai. 7-0 Colts. Six points for Andrew. I’m going to go kill myself.

Suicide Option #1: Use barbwire as a noose, superglue my hands to my head and hang myself. Hopefully my head would have been cut off so it would look like I ripped my own head off. That’s really how I feel right now: I want to rip my head off.

Damn you Colts. Damn you Andrew. Damn you fantasy football.

I really cannot live in a world where Andrew has the fantasy baseball championship and back-to-back football champion. I just can’t live in there, I just can’t.

2:18

Ugh. Philip Rivers misses a wide open receiver, followed by a penalty followed by my plotting of the murder of Norv Turner.

1:59

Darren Sproles is good. He’s so little!

:07

Philip Rivers completed 3 passes for 19 yards in that quarter. 19 yards. Ugh. NEXT QUARTER, PLEASE!

Note: I'm going to take the next two quarters off. I'll be back for the fourth quarter.

Falcons/Cardinals: 4th Quarter

2009-01-03T16:39:00.000-08:00

15:00

Fitz and Boldin managed zero catches in the third quarter. Thank God!

Michael Turner is averaging 2.3 yards per carry, but has four more fantasy points than Edge. Woe the cruelty of fantasy football.

12:44

Nothing doing for Arizona and they punt. Atlanta is penalized for holding so they are now in the negative 23 yard line.

The only scenario in which I see Atlanta winning is if Ryan manages to age three years in the next four seconds to gain the poise needed to lead the Falcons to a comeback win. I don’t see that happening.

If my nickname was Matty Ice, I’d Plax myself.

12:37

Ryan sacked for a safety. Arizona is penalized for being happy. A little too happy. A little homoerotic. I’m pretty sure all of the Arizona defensive linemen are gay. Especially the one who was trying to have anal sex with his teammate.

So, all of these Unrated/Unedited/Extended versions of movies that are always advertised are never as “racy” as the commercials and the name would suggest. I say this because I’m pretty sure there will be nothing new in the Babylon A.D. movie they just advertised. However, I’ll never know because I don’t plan on watching it. Life’s mysteries…

11:39

Edgerin. James. Sheesh.

9:16

I really hope the tendon LDT tore is not important to him being good. Although, anything attached to the pelvic bone seems important.

“Playoffs?!?!?!?!?!? Playoffs?!?!?! Don’t talk about – playoffs?!?!?!”

Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssss – Coors commercials rule! Except for, of course, the Bud Light commercials where the dude can draw in thin air. That’s pretty awesome.

7:20

I think what we’ve learned to day is: Matt Ryan’s brother hates his him for not dying/getting seriously injured in a car accident.

6:30

Jerious Norwood becomes fantasy relevant with a 30 yard catch and run. Good for him………….

4:15

Matt Ryan throws a touchdown pass to Roddy White (damnit) to pull within 6, 30-24. Mike Ryan is not impressed.

4:10

Has ever heard of the “Four Minute Offense” before?

3:03

The Falcons secondary sucks.

2:17

Looks like the Falcons are going to get the ball back. I hope they win. I sure as hell hope this game doesn’t go to overtime.

2:09

Not happening. A huge first down by the Cardinals. The Falcons defense is terrible. I guess we know what they will be doing in the draft and free agency…

So, with that said, it’s Colts/Chargers time. A far more entertaining game for me since all five of my Saturday starters are in this game. I project I will gain 3 points. Damn LDT…

:00

K. Warner = 16
L. Fitzgerald = 22
A. Boldin = 16
M. Turner = 10
R. White = 14
J. Norwood = 3
J. Elam = 5

Falcons/Cardinals: 3rd Quarter

2009-01-03T15:55:00.000-08:00

Scoring update:

K. Warner = 12
A. Boldin = 16
L. Fitzgerald = 14
M. Turner = 10
R. White = 7
J. Elam = 5
J. Norwood = 0

Now would be an excellent time to mention that Matt Millen is as terrible of an analyst as he is a GM. Wow.

Oh, and I definitely heard Tony Dungy says he wants to get hands on with boys. Yep, defiantly heard him say that.

Two big plays are killing the Falcons. Let’s see if they can hold on…

15:00

Tiki Barber should be shot. I cannot stand that man. No reason. Just can’t stand him.

14:08

I think Michael Turner just threw a touchdown pass to Antrelle Rolle. Seriously, I think he just did. At any rate, they rule it a “fumble” and the Cardinals are up 21-17. I guess it didn’t take long for another big play…

I would be far more pumped for the new Underworld movie in Cate Beckinsale was in it. She’s not, therefore I could care less about this movie. The power of hot chicks.

14:03

LDT says he’s going to play. I project he caries the ball 4 time for 2 yards and then is done for the day. Son of a bitch…

13:03

Now would be a good time for one of those patented Mike Vick 95-yard touchdown runs.

12:47

Fantastic series of events: Falcons punt, Steve Breston attempts to catch the ball, but is absolutely destroyed by Random Falcon Special Teamer. Breston, after confirming there was a flag for catch interference, immediately stands up, stares down RFST and begins clapping in his face. This all after I was positive Breston had lost his life. Got to love playoff football.

12:34

This is the best I’ve seen Edge since he was wearing a Colts uniform, and that’s sad.

12:02

Fitzgerald can’t make an impossible one-handed grab. He sucks. I expected more.

11:59

Falcons get away with holding/pass interference leading to a missed field goal by Neil Rackers. 21-17 Cardinals.

Now would be a good time to mention that I’m incredibly annoyed by Verison commercials. Could someone other than Verison, GEICO, car manufacturers or Southwest Airlines please buy some advertising space please.

30 Rock = Fantastic show. You should watch it.

10:31

This is the longest five minutes of a quarter ever. Geez…

9:07

Did Chris Collinsworth really just argue that Pat Tillman should be in the Hall of Fame because he got killed overseas? Really? I mean, I agree what he did was a selfless thing and should be honored, but is the Hall of Fame really where he should be? Let’s say he didn’t get killed and he came back and played football. Would you be clamoring for his HOF induction then? The guy was a terrible player – at least I’m assuming he was since he played for the Cardinals – put him somewhere other than the HOF.

7:16

I’m pretty sure Kurt Warner has run for as many first downs as Michael Turner. Oh, and Edgerin James is doing well in his audition for the other 31 NFL teams he’d like to save him from Arizona. I hope he goes to Detroit.

2:48

Hightower steals a touchdown from Edge. It looks like Edge is going to have at least one more game in a Cardinal uniform. 28-17.

Let’s talk Kurt Warner for a second. This man has to be the most confusing, unpredictable player in the history of the NFL. Seriously, Arena Football League to Super Bowl MVP to bench fodder for the Giants to splitting starts with a Heisman Trophy winner to near MVP of the league this season. I could easily see this guy throwing five interceptions next week.

2:40

Rogers-Cromartie with the INT. This game is getting silly.

By the way, I believe I saw a graphic that said Rogers-Cromartie was tied with one Aquib Talib for the most interceptions by a rookie this season. So much for Talib being a bust. But I bet he gave up a touchdown once so he sucks…

:00

Longest. Quarter. Ever.

Falcons/Cardinals: 2nd Quarter

2009-01-03T15:02:00.000-08:00

15:00

Turner doubles his rushing total with a 13-yard carry. Has an adjustment been made???

14:14

Jenkins makes a fist down catch for consecutive first downs for the Falcons. I’m now anticipating a Matt Ryan interception…

13:04

No interception yet. It’s going to happen…

12:29

No interception, but No Name Cardinals secondary player just killed someone. Huge hit.

11:49

How much of an uproar will there be if Ed Hochuli worked the Super Bowl? I really hope he’s doing tonight’s Chargers game…

10:03

You know those Coors commercials where they cut and splice former press conferences? When are they going to get the Mike Gundy meltdown in there? What about Jim Mora’s “playoffs?!?!”? Where are the classics is all I’m saying.

10:00

Jason Elam hits a field goal to make it 7-3. There goes the shutout for whoever played the Arizona DEF/ST.

Key Players Scoring Update:

M. Turner = 2
R. White = 2
K. Warner = 7
L. Fitzgerald = 13
A. Boldin = 0

9:43

Anquan Boldin finally made a catch. Andrew doesn’t care. Larry Fitzgerald, bitch.

8:58

71 yards. Anquan Boldin. Touchdown. Larry Anquan Boldin Fitzgerald, bitch. (And Kurt Warner, too!)

Kurt Warner – on a weak five-of-12 passing – now has 14 points. (Chris and Jason)

Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin each have 13 points. Andrew has both of them. (Chris has Boldin, Tony has Fitzgerald.)

Now that I think about it, I left out the 40- and 50-plus yard touchdown bonus.

So make that 14 points for Fitz and 16 points for Boldin.

Damnit.

7:46

Alright, so now that Roddy White is dropping wide open passes and the Falcons look to have the collective “Tennessee Face” going on for them, lets now move on to the next game. Whatever we can do to keep Andrew from getting more points.

7:29

Fantastic catch by Jenkins to keep the drive alive for the Falcons. The Falcons must score a touchdown here to keep this game within range.

6:45

The Falcons have waived the white flag by handing the ball off to Turner. He has NOWHERE to go.

5:56

Ryan makes a clutch third down throw to Roddy White (who actually caught this one) to keep the drive alive again. This is followed by another first down. Matt Ryan has a much stronger arm than I remember him having in college.

4:24

I feel like I’m watching the Alabama/Utah game right now.

Additional thought: Now knowing that the Lions went 0-16 and had one of the worst secondary’s in NFL history, should that actually make Matt Ryan’s first pass for a touchdown less impressive? Or should we have seen the Lions’ woes much sooner?

2:55

Michael Turner overcomes his bust status with a touchdown. Chris and Erik celebrate. Bastards.

The Cardinals have just one timeout and 2:55 to get into scoring range from their own 20. Good thing they don’t have a passing game…

2:35

Anquan Boldin is a woman. He has “cramps”. Pussy. Run it off, bitch. God, I hate Andrew right now…

2:10

PICKED OFF!!! Jebus Jackson???? I swear I just heard the announcer guy say “Jebus” picked off the pass. Fantastic name. With all of that said, that was a terrible set of play calling by Arizona. They deserved to have the pass picked off.

2:00

It’s the two-minute warning and you know what that means: THE NINTETH RUNNING OF THAT REALLY ANNOYING GEICO COMMERCIAL!!!! Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Has there ever been a phone name that best described annoying teenage girls like “Rant”? I’m now ready for the “Shut the Fuck Up” phone to come out.

Norv Turner expects LDT to play. FUCK, I FORGOT NORV TURNER COACHED THE CHARGERS!!! I’m screwed.

1:18

Arizona is having issues with premature penetration… That’s what she said.

:27

Roddy White is getting destroyed in this game.

A play-action pass for a touchdown (17-14) gives Atlanta the lead and all of a sudden Matt Ryan has a lead going into the second half. Arizona has no business being in this position. I guess this is why they are Arizona…

:09

I really wish I drafted Darren Sproles.

I now need to go hide so I don’t poison my mind with Matt Millen “wisdom”.

Falcons/Cardinals: 1st Quarter

2009-01-03T14:16:00.001-08:00

Pregame thoughts: What the hell is Matt Millen doing on NBC’s pregame coverage? Out of all of the dismissed general managers, he was the best one they could come up with? This explains a lot about NBC.

Thank God Chris Collinsworth is doing the first game of the playoff double-header. I was concerned is was going to be Rod Marinelli or something. Part of me wishes Collinsworth was doing the late game so I didn’t have to listen to John Madden during the game I cared about most. Oh well: Win some, lose some.

I’m waiting for Kurt Warner’s wife to randomly appear during the pregame…

Players of Note:
Michael Turner
Kurt Warner
Larry Fitzgerald
Roddy White

15:00

This is the part where I hope Michael Turner tears some tendon connected to his pelvic bone…

14:47

You know there is a small part of you that hopes Kurt Warner gets hurt and Matt Leinart has to find a way to lead his team to victory. The world needs a mediocre Matt Leinart starting NFL games.

13:50

After one play, Matt Ryan has more rushing yards than Michael Turner. Turner = Bust.

Michael Turner had 376 carries this season. You’d have to expect some kind of Larry Johnson syndrome next season, right?

12:32

Matt Ryan is picked off by a random Cardinal (I wasn’t paying attention to who it was). This is good news for the team who started the Arizona defense…

Ralph Brown made the pick. Chris Collinsworth tells me he’s been in the league for 9 years. Somehow, I don’t believe him since I don’t even remember the guy being on Madden.

11:42

Edgerin James is running the ball like he wants out of Arizona.

James + Motivation = Atlanta loss.

10:28

Warner + Flea Flicker + Sick Catch by Larry Fitzgerald = 7-0 Cardinals

Andrew and Tony each received 10 points on the play. Jason and Chris received 5. Seems cruel, doesn’t it?

What a catch by Fitzgerald though. And he was all kinds of double-fucked on the play. The Falcons didn’t bite on the flea flicker and the ball was slightly overthrown. What a catch…

10:25

I’m really glad I don’t have to watch NBC football for the next eight-plus months after today.

9:49

Does University of Pheonix Stadium have discounts specifically for University of Pheonix students for Cardinals games?

8:46

Roddy White makes his first catch. The Falcons get their first first down. Erik and Joel get their first points.

8:15

Arizona’s strategy is clear: Leave no one in pass coverage. They are baiting the Falcons rookie quarterback into throwing the ball. And when he doesn’t, there is literally nine guys in the backfield waiting for Michael Turner. Lot of pressure on Ryan.

Next play: Ryan is sacked.

7:52

Note to self: Do not buy TurboTax because of their creepy commercial.

7:07

NBC’s “raw” intro commentary from Tiki Barber isn’t working for me. Someone please shut that man up.

6:21

Larry Fitzgerald is Jesus.

5:46

And so is Edgerin James.

4:56

J.J. Arrington is not Jesus.

4:37

Anquan Boldin drops a pass and forces the Cardinals to punt. The punt is downed at the five yard-line. I suspect nothing good happens from this ensuing Falcons drive.

4:05

Hey! Turner gained a yard!!! (Three actually.)

3:30

Minus Rogers-Cromartie, I have no idea who any of these people are that are playing in the Cardinals secondary. Yet, as Ryan gets sacked again, they seem to be the most amazing defensive backs ever to play the game. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Arizona Cardinals are going to have more playoff wins this decade than the Kansas City Chiefs. Ugh.

3:20

I’m trying to come up with a scenario where I’d want the Chiefs to sign Kurt Warner to a one-year deal next season. I can’t come up with one.

(Note: Immediately after I wrote this he almost had a pass picked off and returned for a touchdown.)

2:31

Arizona punts, dude foolishly catches the punt inside the 10, dude gets murdered at the eight yard-line.

2:26

Turner, two yards.

Bust.

(But, apparently, so is LDT. Damnit.)

1:57

Roddy makes another catch. Yippee. Turner gains nothing on the ensuing play. What a terrible first half for the Falcons offense. They are going to need some kind of defensive touchdown or play that puts them close to the endzone if they are going to have any chance of scoring.

:00

The first quarter is over – that was fast. Larry Fitzgerald’s catch was still freaking amazing.

Oh, and have I mentioned that Sheron Collins is Basketball Jesus?

Championship: Week One Projections

2009-01-03T06:00:00.000-08:00

Erik's Roster
Peyton Manning - 265
Adrian Peterson - 289
Willie Parker - 124
Le'Ron McClain - 165
Reggie Wayne - 168
Roddy White - 213
Michael Turner - 318
Steve Smith - 218
Brandon Jacobs - 210
Eli Manning - 194
Santonio Holmes - 105
Kevin Boss - 69
Justin Gage - 108
PHI DEF/ST - 182
IND DEF/ST - 133
Adam Vinatieri - 88

Total = 2849

Wild Card Week Lineup (projected team result)
QB – Peyton Manning = 17 (W)
RB – Adrian Peterson = 22 (L)
RB – Michael Turner = 14 (L)
Flex – Le’Ron McClain = 6 (W)
WR – Reggie Wayne = 21 (W)
WR – Roddy White = 15 (L)
TE – N/A
DEF/ST – Eagles = 7 (W)
K – Adam Vinatieri = 9 (W)

Projected Total = 111

Thoughts: The playoffs are Erik’s to lose. A scenario Erik does want to avoid is if Indy, Minnesota and Atlanta all lose this week. This would put the rest of the playoffs in the hands Willie Parker and Brandon Jacobs, who are both coming off of injuries. It would also leave Eli Manning as his quarterback, which is very uninspiring fantasy wise. Still, this is Erik’s championship to lose.

Jason's Roster
DeAngelo Williams - 321
Brian Westbrook - 225
Vincent Jackson - 167
David Akers - 118
Giants DEF/ST - 132
Kurt Warner - 295
Chris Johnson - 218
Hines Ward - 159
Bernard Berrian - 169
Visanthe Shiancoe - 100
Derrick Mason - 138
Mewelde Moore - 121
Ben Roethlisberger - 183
MIN DEF/ST - 133
Bo Scaife - 64
John Carney - 113

Total = 2656

Wild Card Week Lineup
QB – Kurt Warner = 23 (W)
RB – Brian Westbrook = 14 (W)
RB – N/A
Flex – Derrick Mason = 6 (W)
WR – Vincent Jackson = 6 (L)
WR – Bernard Berrian = 4 (L)
TE – Visanthe Shiancoe = 3 (L)
DEF/ST – Vikings = 6 (L)
K – David Akers = 8 (W)

Projected Total = 70

Thoughts: Jason is clearly banking on DeAngelo Williams, Brian Westbrook and Kurt Warner advancing in the playoffs and dominating. Two of those three guys need to be alive in the NFC championship game (which is not a long shot for Philly and Carolina) in order to have any shot at beating Erik. Jason really has nothing on his roster if both Westbrook and Warner lose this week. Ben Roethlisberger is coming off a concussion, Chris Johnson doesn’t get goal line carries and Jason has nothing in terms of wide receivers. Still, DeAngelo Williams and Brian Westbrook are scary propositions, and two weeks of Kurt Warner could be enough to put him over the top a win a championship.

Ben's Roster
Phillip Rivers - 294
Dallas Clark - 122
Rod Bironas - 112
Joe Flacco - 170
Derrick Ward - 156
Chad Pennington - 219
LaDanian Tomlinson - 223
Ronnie Brown - 182
BAL DEF/ST - 197
LenDale White - 170
Antonio Gates - 109
Jake Delhomme - 166
Mark Clayton - 116
TEN DEF/ST - 181
Chris Chambers - 74
Nate Kaeding - 101

Total = 2592

Wild Card Week Lineup
QB – Phillip Rivers = 19 (L)
RB – LaDanian Tomlinson = 15 (L)
RB – Ronnie Brown = 4 (L)
Flex – N/A
WR – Chris Chambers = 4 (L)
WR – Mark Clayton = 3 (W)
TE – Dallas Clark = 13 (W)
DEF/ST – Ravens = 7 (W)
K –Nate Kaeding = 6 (L)

Projected Total = 71

Thoughts: Ben went with a diversity approach to compensate for his weak keeper prospects. He has four quarterbacks, four running backs on separate teams, will have a defense and kicker in the first and second round at least. With this said, Ben really needs San Diego to beat the Colts. All of his top end talent is on the Chargers and two weeks of that is going to be necessary if he wants any shot at winning the championship.

Andrew's Roster
Jonathan Stewart - 147
Larry Fitzgerald - 251
Anthony Fasano - 80
PIT DEF/ST - 181
Jason Elam - 111
Donovan McNabb - 246
Anquan Boldin - 181
DeSean Jackson - 120
Willis McGahee - 127
Joseph Addai - 115
Mushin Muhammad - 119
Anthony Gonzalez - 87
Heath Miller - 62
Armani Toomer - 76
Kerry Collins - 138
Correll Buckhalter – 84

Total = 2125

Projected Wild Card Week Lineup
QB – Donovan McNabb = 12 (W)
RB – Willis McGahee = 3 (W)
RB – Joseph Addai = 5 (W)
Flex – Anthony Gonzalez = 4 (W)
WR – Larry Fitzgerald = 15 (W)
WR – Anquan Boldin = 15 (W)
TE – Anthony Fasano = 2 (L)
DEF/ST – N/A
K – Jason Elam = 7 (L)

Projected Total = 63

Thoughts: Andrew had a terrible backend draft in terms of guys who were effective in the regular season. With this said, these are the guys needed to have any shot at padding your point total late in the playoffs. He really needs the Cardinals and Eagles to win this week in order to keep the three most valuable players on his roster. Things don’t look good for Andrew, but crazier things have happened.

The Race for #1…

Chris' Roster
Kurt Warner - 295
Michael Turner - 318
Ronnie Brown - 182
Antonio Gates - 109
Colts DEF/ST - 133
Anquan Boldin - 181
DeAngelo Williams - 321
Adrian Peterson - 289
Ben Roethlisberger - 183
Vincent Jackson - 167
Santonio Holmes - 105
Giants DEF/ST - 132
Vicente Shiancoe - 100
Jeff Reed - 97
Mark Clayton - 116
Jake Delhomme – 166

Total = 2894

Wild Card Week Lineup
QB – Kurt Warner = 23 (W)
RB - Adrian Peterson = 22 (L)
RB - Michael Turner = 14 (L)
RB/WR - Ronnie Brown = 4 (L)
WR - Anquan Boldin = 15 (W)
WR - Vincent Jackson = 6 (L)
TE - Vicente Shiancoe = 3 (L)
DEF/ST - Colts = 6 (W)
K – N/A

Projected Total = 93

Thoughts: The number one overall pick, in my opinion, will come down to Chris and Jeff. If Adrian Peterson gets to the second round, the number one pick is almost certainly his. If the Vikings lose, everything is fair game.

Jeff's Roster
LaDainian Tomlinson - 223
Steve Smith - 218
Titans D/ST - 181
Chris Johnson - 218
Joseph Addai - 115
Dominic Rhodes - 130
Peyton Manning - 265
Chad Pennington - 219
Le'Ron McClain - 165
Reggie Wayne - 168
Domenik Hixon - 76
Todd Heap - 49
Bernard Berrian - 169
Anthony Fasano - 80
Eagles DEF/ST - 182
David Akers - 118
John Carney - 113

Total = 2689

Wild Card Week Lineup
QB - Peyton Manning = 17 (W)
RB - Joseph Addai = 5 (W)
RB - LaDainian Tomlinson = 15 (L)
RB/WR - Le'Ron McClain = 6 (W)
WR - Reggie Wayne = 21 (W)
WR – Bernard Berrian = 4 (L)
TE - Anthony Fasano = 2 (L)
D/ST - Eagles = 7 (W)
K - David Akers = 8 (W)

Projected Total = 85

Thoughts: The Colts is to Jeff what the Vikings are to Chris. The Colts need to take care of business to keep Jeff in the hunt.

Tony's Roster
Brandon Jacobs - 210
Hines Ward - 159
Eli Manning - 194
Willis McGahee - 127
John Kasay - 113
Kevin Boss - 69
Larry Fitzgerald - 251
Steelers DEF/ST - 181
Dallas Clark - 122
Joe Flacco - 170
Rickey Williams - 110
Steve Breston - 127
Darren Sproles - 103
Chester Taylor - 102
Bo Scaife - 64
Ryan Longwell - 117

Total = 2219

Wild Card Week Lineup
QB – Joe Flacco = 10 (W)
RB – Willis McGahee = 3 (W)
RB – Ricky Williams = 2 (L)
RB/WR – Larry Fitzgerald = 15 (W)
WR – N/A
WR – Steve Breaston = 5 (W)
TE – Dallas Clark = 13 (W)
DEF – N/A
K – Ryan Longwell = 8 (L)

Projected Total = 56

Thoughts: Tony is going to have to rely on playing more games than anyone else to win the number one pick. Brandon Jacobs and Larry Fitzgerald are the closest things he has to a home run hitter on his team, but neither are of the quality of DeAngelo Williams or Adrian Peterson. Tony's got a long road to the number one pick.

Joel's Roster
Ravens DEF/ST - 197
Donovan McNabb - 246
Jerious Norwood - 108
LenDale White - 170
Philip Rivers - 294
Brian Westbrook - 225
Mewelde Moore - 121
Roddy White - 213
Derrick Mason - 138
Heath Miller - 62
David Martin - 60
Correll Buckhalter - 84
Dolphins DEF/ST - 124
Matt Stover - 94
Adam Vinatieri - 88
Anthony Gonzalez - 87

Total = 2311

Wild Card Week Lineup
QB -Philip Rivers = 19 (W)
RB – Brian Westbrook = 14 (W)
RB – Correll Buckhalter = 1 (W)
RB/WR - Jarious Norwood = 2 (L)
WR - Roddy White = 15 (L)
WR – Derrick Mason = 6 (W)
TE - David Martin = 2 (L)
DEF/ST - Ravens = 7 (W)
K – Adam Vinatieri = 9 (W)

Projected Total = 75

Thoughts: Joel is like Tony except for that Brian Westbrook is probabaly a better home run hitter that Brandon Jacobs. Overall, I give him a better shot to win the number one pick that Tony, but I think its going to be tough for him to overcome Chris and Jeff.

Season Review Part I: The Draft

2009-01-02T09:18:00.000-08:00

Note: This post looks Posnanski-like, but it is actually fairly short. Most of it is everyone’s draft and lists that take six seconds to read, so don’t freak out.

With the fantasy season over, I thought it would be interesting to breakdown each individual team’s draft and then rank them. While doing this, I was surprised to see who had successful drafts and how that related to each individual team’s season.

What I did was add up the total points scored by each team as if transactions were not allowed and we were all stuck with what we drafted. It should be noted that I did not adjust the scoring for bye weeks or for matchups so that the management equation would be eliminated.

So let’s start with the worst statistical draft and work our way up.

Glossery:
Total Roster Points (TRP) = Starters + Bench points
Total Roster Points Minus Keepers (TRPK) = Total roster points minus keeper points
Total Starter Points (TSP) = Total points of best starting lineup
Total Bench Points (TBP) = Total points of players who were not included in the starting lineup
Total Keeper Points (TKP) = Total points from selected keepers
Actual Fantasy Points (AFP) = Fantasy points scored in the real regular season
Difference = Point differential between draft starting lineup and actual fantasy points scored during the regular season (Note: It should be remembered that trades and free agent pickups are included in the actual points.)

8) Chris Wessley (7th Overall Pick)
TRP – 1815
TRPK – 1589
TSP – 1472
TBP – 343
TKP - 226
AFP – 1670
Difference – (+198)

Preseason Prediction: Misses the playoffs and will win the consolation bracket.

What I Said in September: “Chris showed up to the draft, but he really didn’t need to until round three as he kept LDT and Tom Brady. But after looking at his draft, it appears that he really wasn’t all there until round 10 when he took Jeremy Shockey. He then took another two rounds off before taking DeShawn Jackson and then promptly left the draft…Michael Turner has no business going in the third round and I think will prove to be a bust and was the biggest reach of the draft. Chad Ocho Cinco is going to have a down season this year, which I think will prove to be his last in Cincinnati…I’m also not sold on Tom Brady as a dominate fantasy player this year…”

Thoughts: I was surprised Chris came away with the worst draft. Granted, I knew he would get hard by the Brady injury, but it didn’t really occur to me how bad his draft was. Seven of his draftees scored less than 85 fantasy points. He had far too many “busts” than “booms”, but, as will be discussed in Part II of the season review, I think this proves more positive things for Chris than negative.

I still think the Turner pick was a bad one. Granted, I was wrong about his production (VERY wrong), but I think Turner could have been had later in the draft by at least two rounds. Turner would be a far greater keeper prospect in the 5th or 6th round than in the third. With that said, Chris did land a great player in Turner – a player I completely whiffed on – and will serve a solid keeper prospect for him next season.

Bold = Keeper
(#) = Consecutive times player has been kept
Round – Player – Points Scored
1st – Ladanian Tomlinson (1) – 223*
2nd – Tom Brady (1) – 3
3rd – Michael Turner – 318*
4th – Chad Johnson – 71
5th – Antonio Gates – 109*
6th – Anquan Boldin – 181*
7th – Fred Taylor – 63
8th – Dwayne Bowe – 146*
9th – Seattle D/ST – 84*
10th – Selvin Young – 29
Jeremy Shockey – 39
11th – Ronnie Brown – 182*
12th – Marc Bulger – 122*
13th – DeShawn Jackson – 120
14th – Donte Stallworth – 18
15th – Mason Crosby – 107*
16th – Pick Traded

7) Joel Schilb (1st overall pick)
TRP – 1997
TRPK – 1666
TSP – 1424
TBP – 573
TKP – 331
AFP – 1395
Difference – (-29)

Preseason Prediction: 4th Seed in Championship Playoffs

What I Said in September: “Joel was kind enough to not show up to the draft. How gay of him. And being the bastard he is, he used the “Brian Winckler Method” of not showing up to the draft while having the number one overall pick and coming away with a solid team. I. Hate. You. Really, I do.”

Thoughts: A healthy Tom Brady sends Joel to the worst draft in the league. But Brady wasn’t healthy and Joel ranks comfortably ahead of Chris. Rounds seven through fourteen literally produced nothing for Joel. Welker suffered from lack of redzone targets, otherwise he would have been a top half keeper, the Baltimore pick was a good one in round sixteen, but otherwise Joel pretty much skipped out of the draft after the Thomas Jones pick. Serves him right for not showing up to the draft.

Bold = Keeper
(#) = Consecutive times player has been kept
Round – Player – Points Scored
1st – Joseph Addai – 115
2nd – Maurice Jones-Drew – 219*
3rd – Marques Colston – 120*
4th – Thomas Jones – 253*
5th – Brett Favre – 180
6th – Jerricho Cotchery – 120*
7th – Chris Cooley – 84*
8th – Andre Hall – 10
9th – Justin Fargas – 90
10th – Traded Pick
11th – Ben Roethlisberger (1) – 183*
12th – Jerious Norwood – 108
13th – Benjamin Watson – 27
14th – Ahmad Bradshaw – 43
15th – Wes Welker (1) – 148*
16th – Neil Rackers – 100*
Baltimore D/ST – 197*

6) Jason Willey (2nd overall pick)
TRP – 2000
TRPK - 1540
TSP – 1542
TBP – 458
TKP – 460
AFP – 1660
Difference – (+118)

Preseason Prediction: Will finish second in the consolation playoffs.

What I Said in September: “While Terrell Owens is the more likely wide receiver between Randy Moss and himself to repeat last seasons success, and Brian Westbrook will be the best running back in fantasy this season (mark my words Chris, because I know you already are), Jason simply lacks any depth. Clinton Portis is a liability in the backfield and Derek Anderson is setup for a sophomore slump (so that he can be released and signed by the Chiefs this offseason). Torry Holt is nine billion years old (I think) and Jason has almost no one of value to bring off the bench.”

Thoughts: Jason had two good picks, DeAngelo Williams in the 12th round and Tony Gonzalez in the 6th, and had two excellent keepers. Aside from four guys, Jason had nothing. Aside from Owens 200-yard game, he was bust as a first round pick. Rounds four through 16 produced three starters (Gonzalez, Williams and Santana Moss). Over 57-percent of his season’s fantasy points came from his three backs and tight end. While I have not calculated it yet, I assume Jason is going to rank very high in the Luck Factor. With that said, kudos to him for getting Williams in the 12th round.

Bold = Keeper
(#) = Consecutive times player has been kept
Round – Player – Points Scored
1st – Terrell Owens – 180*
2nd – Brian Westbrook (1) – 225*
3rd – Clinton Portis (1) – 235*
4th – Derek Anderson – 88*
5th – Torry Holt – 92
6th – Tony Gonzalez – 173*
7th – San Diego D/ST – 97*
8th – Santana Moss – 160*
9th – Shayne Graham – 63*
10th – Jon Kitna – 37
11th – Kenny Watson – 3
12th – DeAngelo Williams – 321*
13th – Ted Ginn Jr. – 107
14th – Ricky Williams – 110
15th – Sidney Rice – 33
16th – Amani Toomer – 76

5) Tony Allen (3rd overall pick)
TRP – 2195
TRPK – 1977
TSP – 1474
TBP – 721
TKP – 218
AFP – 1614
Difference – (+140)

Preseason Prediction: Will lose in first round of the consolation playoffs.

What I Said in September: “Brandon Jacobs in the fourth round? Steven Jackson as the third overall? Kevin Boss? Outside of Reggie Wayne, you have no one to play the other WR spot… The good news is I think Matt Hasselbeck and Hines Ward will each have excellent seasons. I also have wet dreams about the Minnesota defense (I need better wet dreams). Additionally, Aaron Rogers could potentially be a huge keeper steal (sixteenth round) when looking back at the draft at the end of the season.”

Thoughts: Tony lacked a top end player in the top half of his draft. None of his top eight draft picks scored over 250 points and only one cracked 200. His shrewd pickup of Aaron Rogers in the 16th round saved his season in terms of keeping him in the playoff hunt until the last week of the season. His 7-9-1 record is a perfect reflection of his draft.

Bold = Keeper
(#) = Consecutive times player has been kept
Round – Player – Points Scored
1st – Steven Jackson – 198*
2nd – Larry Johnson – 135*
3rd – Reggie Wayne (1) – 168*
4th – Brandon Jacobs – 210*
5th – Matt Hasselbeck (1) – 50
6th – Eli Manning – 194
7th – Hines Ward – 159*
8th – Lavernaues Coles – 126
9th – Minnesota D/ST – 133*
10th – Kevin Boss – 69
11th – Nick Folk – 96*
12th – Chris Chambers – 74
13th – Cowboys D/ST – 104
14th – Tony Scheffler – 77*
15th – Earnest Graham – 104
16th – Aaron Rogers – 298*

4) Ben Nielsen (6th Overall Pick)
TRP – 2157
TRPK – 1835
TSP – 1636
TBP – 521
TKP – 322
AFP – 1652
Difference – (+16)

Preseason Prediction: (I didn’t write one for me, but I’m assuming that it would have said I was going to win it all.)

What I Said in September: “I feel pretty good about my team (as if you couldn’t tell). I am confident my receivers are going to dominate this season. The combination of Houshmandzadeh and Braylon Edwards, with Greg Jennings at the flex, should serve me well. On the bench I have a potential breakout guy in Calvin Johnson and a this year’s Wes Welker in Anthony Gonzalez…While I don’t think Carson Palmer is going to be spectacular or win me any matchups this year, I do feel that he will not lose me any matchups and will be a consistent performer. Philip Rivers is a good option as a back-up…My biggest question is going to be who steps up fill in the second running back roll. Marion Barber will be a touchdown machine, and I’m not concerned about him. I also have his backup, Felix Jones, should something happen to Barber. As of now, Darren McFadden is my number two guy – but as a rookie, I really don’t know what I’m going to get in him. My other running back options include Jones, Steve Slaton and Rashard Mendenhall – all of whom are rookies. I figure one of either McFadden, Jones, Slaton or Mendenhall will be good.”

Thoughts: My draft finished higher than I thought it was. Barber missing the last month of the season, Carson Palmers season-ending injury, T.J. Houshmandzadeh’s non-existence, Darren McFadden’s injuries and the stupidity of drafting a tight end in the fifth round utterly destroyed my top five picks. I may arguably have the worst top five picks of any team in the draft in that I was the only team to not have a single top five pick score over 200 points. So, clearly, my rounds six through 16 picks need to be very solid – and they were. I had four picks 200-plus point players from round six to 16. Only Jeff can claim the same thing. More impressive is that only one of those players was a keeper (same as Jeff). I will forever wonder what could have been for the 2008 season if Barber, Palmer and McFadden had stayed healthy in addition to Edwards living up to his expectations. Had three of those four cracked the 200 point mark (as was expected and was not a stretch by any imagination), this would have been the best draft it the league. But it wasn’t.

Bold = Keeper
(#) = Consecutive times player has been kept
Round – Player – Points Scored
1st – Marion Barber – 192*
2nd – Carson Palmer – 34
3rd – T.J. Houshmandzadeh – 117
4th – Darren McFadden – 96
5th – Dallas Clark – 122*
6th – Calvin Johnson – 228*
7th – Anthony Gonzalez – 87
8th – Braylon Edwards (1) – 117*
9th – Felix Jones – 52
10th – JaMarcus Russell – 129
11th – Philip Rivers – 294*
12th – Greg Jennings (1) – 205*
13th – Steve Slaton – 239*
14th – Rashard Mendenhall – 6
15th – Green Bay D/ST – 119*
16th – Stephen Gostkowski – 120*

3) Erik Johnson (4th overall pick)
TRP – 2256
TRPK – 1702
TSP – 1523
TBP – 733
TKP – 554
AFP – 1745
Difference – (+222)

Preseason Prediction: Erik wins division and earns the two seed.

What I Said in September: “Erik’s draft is littered with guys who are either coming off of surgery, a serious injury or have an extensive injury history… Guys like Steve Smith, Kellen Winslow, Donovan McNabb, Adrian Peterson and Vernon Davis. There is also this: Peyton Manning, Willie Parker, Laurence Maroney and Marvin Harrison are all coming off a season ending injury or surgery; Reggie Bush, Steve Smith and Plaxico Burress all battled injuries last season that either caused them to miss games or negatively impact their performance in multiple games. This means 12 of Erik’s 16 draft picks have some kind of serious injury red flag…Of course, the good news for Erik is that his team probably has more upside from proven players than any other team – and Erik is the king of upside. The health of Willie Parker and Adrian Peterson will dictate how well this season goes for Erik.”

Thoughts: Erik split on the health aspect of his draft. Peyton Manning had a slow start, as did McNabb. Parker, Bush, Winslow and Davis all got hurt. Plaxico Burress shot himself. But Erik hit it big on three drafted guys: Steve Smith, Donovan McNabb and Roddy White. Those guys, the added solid players of Kevin Smith and LenDale White, in addition of having the best keeper combination (by far) in the league pushed him ahead of Tony and Ben in the rankings.

Bold = Keeper
(#) = Consecutive times player has been kept
Round – Player – Points Scored
1st – Peyton Manning (1) – 265*
2nd – Willie Parker – 124
3rd – Reggie Bush – 133
4th – Steve Smith – 218*
5th – Plaxico Burress – 70
6th – Kellen Winslow – 60*
7th – Laurence Maroney – 8
8th – Donovan McNabb – 246
9th – Adrian Peterson (1) – 289*
10th – Chicago D/ST – 137*
11th – Marvin Harrison – 89
12th – Kevin Smith – 171*
13th – Roddy White – 213*
14th – LenDale White – 170*
15th – Vernon Davis – 39
16th – Brady Quinn – 24
^Did not draft a kicker.

2) Andrew Wessley (8th overall pick)
TRP – 2371
TRPK – 2085
TSP – 1573
TBP – 753
TKP – 286
AFP – 1682
Difference – (+109)

Preseason Prediction: Will miss the playoffs and will finish last in the consolation bracket.

What I Said in September: “Let’s start with the positives: Drew Brees will have a solid season, as should Brandon Marshall; Jason Witten provides good value as a 12th rounder; Jonathan Stewart is a nice potential keeper. That’s about it…Frank Gore and Marshawn Lynch are terrible first and second round picks...Other running backs include: Edgerrin James (hehehe…), Jonathan Stweart (good choice if this was 2010 – and it’s not), Rudi Johnson (the freaking Bengals cut him), DeShaun Foster (dead man walking)… Who is going to throw the ball to Larry Fitzgerald? If you answered Matt Leinart, you’re fucked. If you said Kurt Warner, you’re fucked. If you own Larry Fitzgerald, you’re double-fucked. I’m not saying Fitzgerald sucks, I’m only saying that you’re fucked. Other Receivers include: Santonio Holmes (I’d like him if the Steelers weren’t a run first offense), Roy Williams (Calvin Johnson is going to steal all his thunder), Lee Evans (when exactly has he had a good season?) and Brandon Marshall (a second tier receiver)…The massive hole at running back in addition to the lack of a top wide receiver is going to kill Andrew this season… I think.”

Thoughts: Looking back at Andrew’s draft, I disagree with his ranking at number two. But that is what the numbers say so I’m going to have to deal with it. I suppose there are two things that earned him this ranking. One would be that he did not bust on any on the players he was counting on going into the season. Larry Fitzgerald was better than I anticipated and Brandon Marshall was worse than Andrew anticipated, but the balance of the two was enough to get him through the season at wide receiver. Frank Gore and Marshawn Lynch were not the top end running backs their draft positions would suggest they should have been, but they stayed relatively healthy and did not totally bomb in their production. The other thing would be that he got ridiculous production from the two quarterbacks he drafted. I know Andrew felt Drew Brees would be good this season, but I doubt he felt Brees was going to be as good as he was (he threw a touchdown in every game this season but one – the Chiefs game… I don’t get that either). Additionally, Jay Cutler had a ridiculous season and will be his best keeper prospect. But beyond the Cutler pick, Andrew did nothing in rounds five through 16, but he didn’t bomb on guys he was counting on. Ultimately, Andrew nailed his first four picks, got enough from the back end of his draft and had the right people stay healthy to steal the second spot in the draft rankings.

Bold = Keeper
(#) = Consecutive times player has been kept
Round – Player – Points Scored
1st – Frank Gore – 189*
2nd – Marshawn Lynch – 188*
3rd – Drew Brees – 355*
4th – Larry Fitzgerald – 251*
5th – Edgerrin James – 78
6th – Santonio Holmes – 105
7th – Roy Williams – 49
8th – Jonathan Stewart – 147*
9th – Lee Evans – 139
10th – Jay Cutler – 307
11th – Rudi Johnson – 36
12th – Jason Witten (1) – 124*
13th – Brandon Marshall (1) – 162*
14th – DeShaun Foster – 39
15th – Jacksonville D/ST – 71*
16th – Phil Dawson – 86*

1) Jeff Weseloh (5th overall pick)
TRP – 2388
TRPK – 1919
TSP – 1498
TBP – 890
TKP – 469
AFP – 1643
Difference – (+145)

Preseason Prediction: Will make the playoffs as a three seed.

What I Said in September: “Jeff has a solid receiving core in Randy Moss, Andre Johnson, Donald Driver and Patrick Crayton…Weseloh’s big guy will be Tony Romo, who I think will be the “2007 Tom Brady” of 2008. Not to say he’s going to break Brady’s record or anything, but I think Romo will have more than 40 touchdown passes this season.”

Thoughts: You get no love from me since I drafted your team. Nice keeper selections though.

Bold = Keeper
(#) = Consecutive times player has been kept
Round – Player – Points Scored
1st – Randy Moss – 181*
2nd – Ryan Grant – 167*
3rd – Willis McGahee – 127
4th – Jamal Lewis – 126
5th – Andre Johnson (1) – 243*
6th – Donald Driver – 138*
7th – Jake Delhomme – 166
8th – Matt Forte – 244*
9th – Joey Galloway – 11
10th – Tony Romo (1) – 226*
11th – Patrick Crayton – 77
12th – David Garrard – 216
13th – Julius Jones – 86
14th – JT O'Sullivan – 81
15th – Tennessee D/ST – 181*
16th – David Akers – 118*
^ Did not draft a tight end.

Tier Draft Rankings

1st Tier - Score
Jeff – 12
Andrew – 13
Erik – 16

2nd Tier – Score
Ben – 21
Tony – 24

3rd Tier – Score
Jason – 28
Joel – 29

4th Tier – Score
Chris – 37

Total Roster Points (Draft)
1) Jeff – 2388
2) Andrew – 2371
3) Erik – 2256
4) Tony – 2195
5) Ben – 2157
6) Joel – 1997
7) Jason – 2000
8) Chris – 1815

Total Roster Points Minus Keepers
1 Andrew – 2085
2 Tony – 1977
3 Jeff – 1919
4 Ben – 1835
5 Erik – 1702
6 Joel – 1666
7 Chris – 1589
8 Jason – 1540

Total Starter Points (Drafted Starters)
1) Ben – 1636
2) Andrew – 1573
3) Jason – 1542
4) Erik – 1523
5) Jeff – 1498
6) Tony – 1474
7) Chris – 1472
8) Joel – 1424

Total Bench Points (Drafted Depth)
1) Jeff – 890
2) Andrew – 753
3) Erik – 733
4) Tony – 721
5) Joel – 573
6) Ben – 521
7) Jason – 458
8) Chris – 343

Actual Fantasy Points (Regular Season)
1) Erik – 1745
2) Andrew – 1682
3) Chris – 1670
4) Jason – 1660
5) Ben – 1652
6) Jeff – 1643
7) Tony – 1614
8) Joel – 1395

Difference (Between Draft and Regular Season)
1) Erik – 222
2) Chris – 198
3) Jeff – 145
4) Tony – 140
5) Jason – 118
6) Andrew – 109
7) Ben – 16
8) Joel – (-29)

Ranking First Round Picks
1) Peyton Manning (265 – Erik – 4th Pick)
2) LDT (223 – Chris – 7th Pick)
3) Steven Jackson (198 – Tony – 3rd Pick)
4) Marion Barber (192 – Ben – 6th Pick)
5) Frank Gore (189 – Andrew – 8th Pick)
6) Randy Moss (181 – Jeff – 5th Pick)
7) Terrell Owens (180 – Jason – 2nd Pick)
8) Joseph Addai (115 – Joel – 1st Pick)

Best Draft Pick By Round
First Round – Peyton Manning (Erik)
Second Round – Brian Westbrook (Jason – Keeper)
Third Round – Drew Brees (Andrew)
Fourth Round – Thomas Jones (Joel)
Fifth Round – Andre Johnson (Jeff – Keeper)
Sixth Round – Calvin Johnson (Ben)
Seventh Round – Jake Delhomme (Jeff)
Eighth Round – Donovan McNabb (Erik)
Ninth Round – Adrian Peterson (Erik)
Tenth Round – Jay Cutler (Andrew)
Eleventh Round – Philip Rivers (Ben)
Twelfth Round – DeAngelo Williams (Jason)
Thirteenth Round – Steve Slaton (Ben)
Fourteenth Round – LenDale White (Erik)
Fifteenth Round – Tennessee Def/ST (Jeff)
Sixteenth Round – Aaron Rogers (Tony)

Top 10 Picks (minus Keepers)
1) DeAngelo Williams (321 – Jason – Round 12)
2) Aaron Rogers (298 – Tony – Round 16)
3) Jay Cutler (307 – Andrew – Round 10)
4) Steve Slaton (239 – Ben – Round 13)
5) Philip Rivers (294 – Ben – Round 11)
6) Matt Forte (244 – Jeff – Round 8)
7) Calvin Johnson (228 – Ben – Round 6)
8) Roddy White (213 – Erik – Round 13)
9) Drew Brees (355 – Andrew – Round 3)
10) Donovan McNabb (246 – Erik – Round 8)

Ranking the 2008 Keeper Selections by Total Fantasy Points
1) Adrian Peterson – 289 (9th Round – Erik)
2) Peyton Manning – 265 (1st Round – Erik)
3) Andre Johnson – 243 (5th Round – Jeff)
4) Clinton Portis – 235 (3rd Round – Jason)
5) Tony Romo – 226 (10th Round – Jeff)
6) Brian Westbrook – 225 (2nd Round – Jason)
7) LaDanian Tomlinson – 223 (1st Round – Chris)
8) Greg Jennings – 205 (12th Round – Ben)
9) Ben Roethlisberger – 183 (11th Round – Joel)
10) Reggie Wayne – 168 (3rd Round – Tony)
11) Brandon Marshall – 162 (13th Round – Andrew)
12) Wes Welker – 148 (15th Round – Joel)
13) Jason Witten – 124 (12th Round – Andrew)
14) Braylon Edwards – 117 (8th Round – Ben)
15) Matt Hasselbeck – 50 (5th Round – Tony)
16) Tom Brady – 3 (2nd Round – Chris)

Keeper Rankings
1) Erik (554)
2) Jeff (469)
3) Jason (460)
4) Joel (331)
5) Ben (322)
6) Andrew (286)
7) Chris (226)
8) Tony (218)

Consolation Bracket Rosters

2009-01-01T08:43:00.000-08:00

Chris' Roster
Kurt Warner
Michael Turner
Ronnie Brown
Antonio Gates
Colts DEF/ST
Anquan Boldin
DeAngelo Williams
Adrian Peterson
Ben Roethlisberger
Vincent Jackson
Santonio Holmes
Giants DEF/ST
Vicente Shiancoe
Jeff Reed
Mark Clayton
Jake Delhomme

Jeff's Roster
LaDainian Tomlinson
Steve Smith
Titans D/ST
Chris Johnson
Joseph Addai
Dominic Rhodes
Peyton Manning
Chad Pennington
Le'Ron McClain
Reggie Wayne
Domenik Hixon
Todd Heap
Titans DEF/ST
Anthony Fasano
Eagles DEF/ST
David Akers
John Carney

Tony's Roster
Brandon Jacobs
Hines Ward
Eli Manning
Willis McGahee
John Kasay
Kevin Boss
Larry Fitzgerald
Steelers DEF/ST
Dallas Clark
Joe Flacco
Rickey Williams
Steve Breston
Darren Sproles
Chester Taylor
Bo Scaife
Ryan Longwell

Joel's Roster
Ravens DEF/ST
Donovan McNabb
Jerious Norwood
LenDale White
Philip Rivers
Brian Westbrook
Mewelde Moore
Roddy White
Derrick Mason
Heath Miller
David Martin
Correll Buckhalter
Dolphins DEF/ST
Matt Stover
Adam Vinatieri
Anthony Gonzalez

Championship Rosters

2008-12-30T12:58:00.001-08:00

Here are the rosters for the Championship Bracket.

Erik's Roster

Peyton Manning

Adrian Peterson

Willie Parker

Le'Ron McClain

Reggie Wayne

Roddy White

Michael Turner

Steve Smith

Brandon Jacobs

Eli Manning

Santonio Holmes

Kevin Boss

Justin Gage

PHI DEF/ST

IND DEF/ST

Adam Vinatieri

Jason's Roster

DeAngelo Williams

Brian Westbrook

Vincent Jackson

David Akers

Giants DEF/ST

Kurt Warner

Chris Johnson

Hines Ward

Bernard Berrian

Vicente Shiancoe

Derrick Mason

Mewelde Moore

Ben Roethlisberger

MIN DEF/ST

Bo Scaife

John Carney

Ben's Roster

Phillip Rivers

Dallas Clark

Rod Bironas

Joe Flacco

Derrick Ward

Chad Pennington

LaDanian Tomlinson

Ronnie Brown

BAL DEF/ST

LenDale White

Antonio Gates

Jake Delhomme

Mark Clayton

TEN DEF/ST

Chris Chambers

Nate Kaeding

Andrew's Roster

Jonathan Stewart

Larry Fitzgerald

Anthony Fasano

PIT DEF/ST

Jason Elam

Donovan McNabb

Anquan Boldin

DeShawn Jackson

Willis McGahee

Joseph Addai

Mushin Muhammad

Anthony Gonzalez

Heath Miller

Armani Toomer

Kerry Collins

Correll Buckhalter

LIVE BLOG: Chiefs v Bengals 4th Quarter

2008-12-28T12:58:00.001-08:00

Fourth Quarter

14:15

The Chiefs have not cross midfield since William Wallace was six years old. They finally do, but can’t do anything with it as the turn the ball over on downs.

You know those Bud Light commercials where the guy is writing in thin air maps and such? I really wish I could do that. As a matter of fact, I wish I could do most things that happen in beer commercials.

13:35

RAMS UPDATE: A field goal pushes the Rams to within a touchdown. Still plenty of time life.

13:12

Cedric Benson could be an interesting fantasy option next season. Carson Palmer will be back but it can be assumed he won’t be fully back, meaning they will rely on the run a little more than usual. The way Benson has looked the last couple of weeks he might have a decent season in 2009. Wouldn’t be interesting if he gets traded for T.J. Houshmandzadeh but this time Benson has the crazy good season and T.J. sucks?

10:55

The Chiefs finally get a sack!!! Of course, it was a terrible sack. Boone had him first, but completely whiffed on the tackle. Babin ended up getting him after Fitzpatrick couldn’t get around his own lineman.

10:07

Robinson didn’t fumble, but he might as well have… Chiefs ball on the 7ish.

9:32

Tyler Thigpen can’t throw the deep ball. He under-threw Bradley badly, but the DB mistimed his jump. This gave Bradley a chance to catch the ball but he couldn’t hold onto it.

Tony Gonzalez followed that play up with his second catch of the drive. 9 more catches….

8:34

Bowe with another catch. He needs 40 more yards to get 1000. I predict he’ll get 35.

8:13

Thigpen fumbles the handoff, Bengals recover. Thigpen has looked terrible in this game, much the same way he looked in the Falcons game earlier this season.

He is 13-27 for 106 yards.

7:28

DERRICK JOHNSON JUST LIT UP CEDRIC BENSON!!!! How is Benson not dead??????????

6:40

Fourth Most Accurate Kicker In NFL History Shane Graham hits another field goal to extend the lead to 16-0, despite the fact that boring announcer guy said 17-0.

6:15

RAMS UPDATE: Rams score somehow, I’m too lazy to look it up – probably was Steven Jackson, and tie the game at 24. Don’t get too excited because, one, it is the Rams and, two, there is still 13 minutes left in the game.

The Lions game is still tied at 14. I kind of want that game to end in a tie now. 0-15-1. Would that be worse that 0-16?

5:57

Technical difficulties by CBS has forced to Plax myself. It really hurts. What was that guy thinking?

4:44

Mark Bradley was just called for a false start. Ugh.

4:08

Dwayne Bowe!!! Holy crap what a catch!!! I hope they challenge it, because I think he scored. Nice throw by Thigpen too. Could have used more of those…

On the previous play, Gonzalez caught a pass. 8 more catches…

Bowe has 10 catches for 103 yards. That puts him over 1000 yards. Statistically, Bowe is special. Now if he can just make those clutch catches and add some consistency…

Still waiting on the replay…

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…

Play stands. Ball placed at the one. Sucks for Bowe. Got his grand (1000 yards) though.

3:15

Chiefs have failed on three straight attempts to get into the endzone from the one. Play include: a fade to TG, LJ getting stuffed for no gain, a terrible pass to LJ.

On fourth down, they throw a fade to Bowe for a touchdown, but Bowe is called for offensive pass interference (tough call).

On fourth and goal part two, the Bengals are call for pass interference in the endzone. Ugly football.

3:00

On the second first and goal, LJ is tackled for a loss on a sweep-type play.

On second down, the Thigpen finally hits TG for the touchdown. 7 more catches…

Chiefs fail to convert the two-point conversion.

2:20

Green Bay is up on the Lions by 10 with 8 minutes left. 0-16 here we come!

STL and ATL are still tied, but the Rams have a 3rd and 9 on the Falcons 10 with 7 minutes left.

2:18

Leon Hall does not pull a Dwayne Bowe and holds onto the onside kick. One first down and the game is over. 2-14. Geez…

2:14

DeAngelo Williams: 163

Chiefs Rushing: 31

2:00

Benson runs for a first down, which should effectively end the game.

RAMS UPDATE: Rams hit a field goal to go up 27-24. I still think the Falcons will win the game.

Detroit scores, don’t know how, to get within 3 points of Green Bay.

1:30

Benson breaks 100 yards, which is good news for my fantasy team. Bad news for the Chiefs. The Chiefs have lost 23 of their last 25 games. Ouch.

:30

Fitzpatrick takes a knee. Bengals win. Chiefs season is done. 2-14. Terrible. Well, I guess we could be the Lions…

UPDATES: Within seconds of each other, the Packers and Falcons each score touchdowns. The Lions and Rams suck.

LIVE BLOG: Chiefs v Bengals 3rd Quarter

2008-12-28T12:05:00.001-08:00

Third Quarter

15:00

Good news: The Chiefs are a terrible second half team. Wait that’s bad news… ON WITH THE SECOND HALF!!!

RAMS UPDATE: Rams 14, Falcons 17. I truly hope Atlanta sits all of its starters in the second half. Please, sit your starters.

14:57

DeAngelo Williams: 143 yards (15 carries)
Chiefs: 50 total yards (51 penalty yards)

Tyler Thigpen is a fantastic 5-14 for 38 yards. The good news is that … ummm … well, I haven’t figured that out yet. I’ll get back to you.

I just heard on the radio that Herm Edwards press conference tomorrow is scheduled for 11:30. This is much earlier than usual (especially for an end of the season press conference). There is speculation that Herm will resign at the conference. Silver lining.

13:27

The Chiefs blitzed all three linebackers and failed to get to the quarterback. God our pass rush sucks.

12:47

JARROD PAGE!!! He just destroyed Cedric Benson. Seventh round…

12:01

Have I mentioned that the Bengals have 23 players on IR (NOT including Carson Palmer) and T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Chad Johnson are not active today? Oh, I didn’t know I had. Sorry about that.

With that said, first down Bengals. (19th first down of the day.)

10:25

It is times like these that I am glad God invented beer. And, yes, God is an inventor – I know I’m sooo controversial.

9:38

Derrick Johnson REALLY needs to work on his hands this spring and summer. He just dropped an easy TAINT (interception for a touchdown).

8:54

The Bengals have a mere 16 sacks this season (three more than the league record for fewest sacks). With this said, they still have 7 more sacks than the Chiefs.

8:09

The Chiefs finally make the Bengals punt for the first time today. Of course, the Bengals down it inside the five.

RAMS UPDATE: Rams 14, Falcons 24. If both the Chiefs and Rams lose, a coin toss will determine who has the 2nd overall pick in the draft. The more I think about it, what really is the difference between the second and third overall pick? Half a billion dollars in signing bonus’?

6:40

FIRST DOWN CHIEFS!!! Granted, Bowe pushed Leon Hall to the ground before he caught the ball (a penalty should have been called) but who cares. LJ follows that up with an 11 yard run. Back to back first downs doubles our total first downs for the game. We still have fewer yards that DeAngelo Williams though.

5:13

Bowe has caught about 345345 short screens in this game (actually that number is about five) and, after the three yard loss on this one, I hope it is the last catch he has on a screen in this game.

5:01

Tony Gonzalez makes his first catch of the game. He needs 11 more…

3:08

Chiefs punt. Again. Ugh.

51-yard punt by Colquitt goes into the endzone.

2:30

Cedric Benson just now returned from his hit delivered by Page. Sweet.

1:39

Holy crap the Chiefs force a three and out. Robinson returns the punt. Every time he touches the ball I’m convinced he is going to fumble. He hasn’t – yet.

Now seems like a good time to tell you that the Packers and Lions are tied at 14. Calvin Johnson has two touchdown catches.

Williams has 155 yards rushing.

STL is still losing.

:42

I would respect Dhani Jones a lot more if he wore a bow-tie during games.

:00

The Bengals get a sack, only they needed to cheat to do it (facemask). Maybe the Chiefs should look into that cheating thing…

One quarter remaining in the Chiefs season. COMEBACK BEGINS NOW!!!

LIVE BLOG: Chiefs v Bengals 2nd Quarter

2008-12-28T11:24:00.000-08:00

Second Quarter

15:00

Tony Gonzalez needs to average four catches a quarter now in order to break his own record. I still feel this is within range…

14:47

Tyler Thigpen throws an incomplete pass on 3 and 11. When the ball landed, there were zero Chiefs and five Bengals in the picture. And, of course, the pass was intended for Tony Gonzalez.

14:21

Andre Caldwell runs 79,621 yards in order to gain 25 yards on a reverse. Caldwell has looked very good in the first quarter and change. The Bengals have seven plays of 10 yards or more already in the game.

The Bengals are ranked 32nd in total offense and points per game this season. The Bengals are without Carson Palmer, Chad Johnson and T.J. Houshmandzadeh. Fantastic.

11:41

Cedric Benson runs for the Bengals eighth play of 10 yards or more. The Bengals are two yards away from a touchdown.

10:57

Cedric Benson. Touchdown. 10-0 Bengals. It is the 6 rushing touchdown for the Bengals this season. Live blogging Chiefs games is both historic and depressing.

On a more positive note, Cedric Benson is on my fantasy team this week. I’ll see your DeAngelo Williams with a “Cedric Benson playing the Chiefs,” Jason!

10:51

Charles is finally out on the field as a running back. I just learned from the most boring announcers in announcing history that Charles is averaging 7 yards per touch. This makes me mad.

10: 48

Chiefs: Three possessions, three punts.

32 Offense (Bengals): Three possessions, two scores.

Ben: Three possessions, three suicide attempts.

10:10

Make that four possessions, four punts. Somehow, Larry Johnson manages to gain zero yards on a third and one run.

MVP Dustin Colquit has a 55-yard punt that puts the Bengals inside the 10.

8:13

Awesomely bad movie: The Spirit. Scarlett Johansson and Eva Mendes are smoking hot in that movie. I have no idea what the plot was, but I do know Johansson and Mendes wore a splendidly limited amount of clothing.

8:07

The Chiefs defense has just managed to pull off a defensive holding and facemask on the same play. I think the Chiefs have more yard in penalties than offensive yards. I’ll check that.

6:41

Chiefs Total Offensive yards: 42

Chiefs Penalty Yards: 51

DeAngelo Williams: 107 yards (12 carries)

5:40

Cedric Benson suddenly looks like Walter Peyton. Chiefs defense: Reviving washed up players careers for the past decade.

4:11

“It seems as if Cincinnati has a real good feel on how to counteract whatever the Chiefs are doing on defense.” – Boring announcer guy

Reminder: The Bengals are the 32nd ranked offense in the NFL.

2:43

Ryan Fitzpatrick looks like Tyler Thigpen. This is not a good thing for the Chiefs future at quarterback.

2:01

HOLY SHIT I SAW GLENN DORSEY DO SOMETHING!!! He penetrated. Hehehehehe…

1:51

Fourth Most Accurate Kicker In NFL History Shane Graham hits a 30-yard field goal to give the Bengals a 13-0 lead.

RAMS UPDATE: Rams 7, Falcons 10 – Damnit.

1:41

Yards per Drive

Drive 1: 15 yards
Drive 2: 3 yards
Drive 3: 15 yards
Drive 4: 9 yards

1:29

Thigpen just threw a pass that was so bad, fans are booing because Intentional Grounding was not called. I mean the nearest receiver was literally 30 yards away. Not an kidding. 30 yards.

:44

The Chiefs are punting – again. I’m not going to miss this Chiefs team. Not one bit. It’s like watching the 2005 Royals.

:20

St. Louis scores on a touchdown pass to someone I’ve never heard of (Donnie Avery). 14-10 STL. SWEET

:00

The half ends on Fitzpatrick throwing a Hail Mary out of bounds. Ugly football game. 13-0 Bengals. One half left of wretched Chiefs football. I hope it’s a good one. I don’t want this to be the final taste in my mouth of the Chiefs.

LIVE BLOG: Chiefs v Bengals 1st Quarter

2008-12-28T10:37:00.000-08:00

Pregame:

Chris Mortensen just tried to make me believe something crazy: Bill Parcells will leave Miami after the season via a clause in his contract.

But that wasn’t the crazy thing…

Bill Parcells possible replacement? Carl Peterson.

Chris Mortensen is officially the worse sports reporter ever. Or Miami is the stupidest organization ever.

First Quarter

15:00

I really wish Gus Johnson was doing this game…

14:53

Herb Taylor is officially a better kick returner than Eddie Drummund.

Which is worse: Going 0-16 or not winning at Cincinnati in 24 years?

13:41

I’m done with Larry Johnson. I don’t even think he is trying anymore. He purposely avoided hitting a hole so he could bounce it outside and get lose four yards.

12:36

If Thigpen is our quarterback next season (and God I hope he is not) he has GOT to get better at the deep ball. No accuracy whatsoever.

12:26

Jamal Charles can’t down a “gimme punt” inside the five. Up next: Glenn Dorsey gets pancaked by a wide receiver. Draft picks at work people!

12:09

I just learned that T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Chad Johnson are not playing today. If we give up more than 20 points today…

11:22

Anybody else hoping Ed Hochuli is umping tonight’s SD/Denver game?

10:08
Cincy is driving. Fantastic. God our defense sucks.

8:46

Patrick Surtain (it was really Jarrod Page) was credited with “really good coverage” on a dropped pass by a Cincy receiver I’ve never heard of. God, I hate these announcers. They could just put a couple of Cincy fans in there or maybe a couple of local college kids? It couldn’t have been any worse.

8: 41

Cincy goes for it on fourth down and fails. This is going to be a long and painful game to watch, isn’t it?

STL scoring update: Rams 0, Falcons 3. 10+ minutes left in the first quarter.

7:47

Three and out for the Chiefs after an incomplete pass to Tony Gonzalez.

Now would be a good time to mention a couple of records that could be set today. Four or fewer sacks makes the Chiefs the worst pass rushing team of all-time. Twelve or more catches by Tony Gonzalez breaks his own record for reception in a season by a tight end. Dwayne Bowe can get 1000 yards with an 81 yard (or more) receiving day.

6:44

Chris Henry should have beaten the Chiefs for a touchdown had he been able to find the pass intended for him. I don’t know whether to feel like the Chiefs dodged a bullet or if this is a sign of things to come.

4:38

I have a new, passionate hatred for DeAngelo Williams. Williams already has six carries for 80 yards halfway into the first quarter. I hate Jason, too.

1:45

Shane Graham hits a 39-yard field goal to give the Bengals the lead. Did you know Shane Graham is the fourth most accurate kicker in NFL history at 85%? I didn’t know that either.

RAMS UPDATE: Steven Jackson runs for a touchdown to put the Rams up 7-3 with 3 minutes left in the first quarter.

1:34

The Chiefs have been outgained 105 to 18 so far. Ugh. Cincy is ranked 21st in the league in defense, just incase you wanted to know.

0:00

The quarter ends with LJ losing six billion yards on a carry up the middle. We need a new offensive line and running back. Speaking of running backs, why isn’t Jamal Charles getting more carries in this game???

Doubting Bradford

2008-12-27T03:45:00.000-08:00

The longer I look at the quarterback situation in the 2009 NFL Draft, the more I think Sam Bradford is not the clear cut, no doubt about it number one quarterback in the draft. Now, I’m not saying that he is not, but I want to show you a few things that have made me think a little over the last couple of days.

What I did was basically break down what would be considered the six best NFL QB prospects in college right now. It is possible not all six will declare for the draft, but I think it is a safe consensus that these six guys are the guys to watch if not for this year, then for next.

The six are: Sam Bradford (OU), Matt Stafford (UGA), Colt McCoy (Texas), Tim Tebow (UF), Mark Sanchez (USC) and Nate Davis (Ball State).

The first two stats are mostly set ups for the last two stats I want to show you. The first one is career interceptions-per-attempts. This, to me, is the most controllable stat a quarterback. Like in almost all football stats, there are so many uncontrollable aspects that affect the eventual stat. For instance, a running back is nothing without a decent line, a receiver cannot catch passes if the ball is never thrown to him (or thrown in an uncatchable manner), a quarterback cannot control whether or not the receiver catches an accurate pass and so on. What a quarterback can control, however, is his decisions. He can choose when to throw, who to throw to and how to get it there (touch pass, line drive, etc.). Now, there are always interceptions, especially in college, where the receiver is at fault for either tipping the pass or running the wrong route, but I’m sure that there are an equal amount interceptions dropped that may not of been had it been a pro athlete and not a college athlete. Basically, I’m assuming these things balance themselves out over the course of one’s career. Anyway, I think this is one of the most important stats – moreso than yards, completion percentage or touchdowns – when statistically evaluating a quarterback. Here is how the six measure up.

INT-Per-Attempt

Tim Tebow – INT every 72 attempts
Thoughts: First, holy crap. That’s a massive number. Now, Tebow does hold the distinction of throwing the second fewest amount of passes (ahead of Mark Sanchez) and does throw many screens and passes to the flat to get his teammate's athleticism in space. But its not like the guy never threw it down the field, otherwise what is the point of have Percy Harvin play wide receiver and not running back? No matter the offense, that kind of ball protection is impressive.

Sam Bradford – INT every 56 attempts
Thoughts: For a guy who has thrown a half a million passes over the last two seasons, this is a staggeringly high number and in some ways more impressive than Tebow’s number. You can see why people would think high of him.

Nate Davis – INT every 52 attempts
Thoughts: I’d like this guy if he wasn’t Jason Whitlock’s sloppy seconds.

Colt McCoy – INT every 35 attempts (1 INT every 50 attempts if you exclude his sophomore season)
Thoughts: McCoy had that terrible 2007 season that hurt his career numbers. But he has shown he has the ability to protect the ball in two of the three seasons he’s played.

Matt Stafford – INT every 30 attempts (INT every 40 attempts this season)
Thoughts: Stafford’s INT:PA number has gotten better every season he’s played. People marvel at his arm and size, but look what that’s doing for JaMarcus Russell right now. Still, it is better to improve than to regress.

Mark Sanchez – INT every 28 attempts
Thoughts: This was Sanchez first full season as a starter so things were going to be a little rough. Additionally, USC – for some reason unknown to man – does not really have a top flight receiver for Sanchez to throw to. Plus, Sanchez was hurt coming into the season and did get better as the season progressed (4 INT in final 7 games with 2 INT coming in the Notre Dame – ?! – game).

Now that you have these numbers in mind, let’s look at how much pressure opposing defenses where getting on them. The obvious reason to look at this is to see what kind of atmosphere where these quarterbacks in when they had to make decisions in the pocket.

Times Sacked in 2008 (pass attempts)

Sam Bradford – 9 (442: once ever 50 passing plays)
Thoughts: Clearly, Bradford could do whatever he wanted in the pocket. Bradford was sacked in only four games this season, all of which involved a Texas school (Tex: 3 sacks; TCU: 3 sacks; TT: 2; TAM: 1). Bradford threw two of his six picks in 2008 in those four games (both against Texas).

Nate Davis – 12 (372: once every 32 passing plays)
Thoughts: While he does not have the same insane protection Bradford enjoyed, he still had some time to get comfortable. Davis is a millionaire to Bradford’s billionaire: Both are rich, but one is significantly richer than the other.

Tim Tebow – 15 (268: once every 19 passing plays)
Thoughts: Believe it or not, this is a number closer to what he can expect in the pros. In comparison, Philip Rivers, who is about in the middle of the road in the most/least sacked QB spectrum, is sacked once every 21 passing plays. (Gives you a different perspective on how crazy Bradford’s protection has been, doesn’t it?)

Matt Stafford – 15 (352: once every 24 passing plays)
Thoughts: This is more of a “true” number than Tebow’s because Stafford does not play a big part in the running game the way Tebow does – which can lead to inflated sack numbers. He is faceing something closer to NFL pressure – relatively at least.

Mark Sanchez – 16 (331: once every 22 passing plays)
Thoughts: Given that Sanchez has had a bum knee cap all season, I’m more impressed by his toughness after seeing this stat, which erases some (not all) doubts about how injury prone he may be.

Colt McCoy – 20 (375: once every 20 passing plays)
Thoughts: This is an encouraging state for McCoy given his production this season. It has changed the way I view his season compared to Bradford’s.

Finally, we look at the top rated defenses in the SEC and Big XII conferences since the top four of the six quarterbacks – in my opinion – are in those conferences.

Top 7 SEC Pass Defenses – as calculated by yards allowed per game (National Ranking)

South Carolina (3)
Tennessee (4)
Vanderbilt (18)
Florida (19)
Mississippi St (20)
Alabama (21)
Auburn (22)

Top 5 Big XII Pass Defenses – as calculated by yards allowed per game (National Ranking)

Colorado (74)
Nebraska (90)
Texas Tech (91)
Texas A&M (93)
Oklahoma (99)

There will be those who say that the Big XII offenses were so good that the defensive rankings are skewed. Here is one thought to counter that argument: Iowa State finished 29th in the nation in passing offense, 9th in the Big XII – ahead of Oklahoma State, Colorado and Baylor (Iowa State. 29th in the nation.). Eleven of the 12 Big XII teams finished 90th or worse in pass defense out of 119 schools. Seven schools finished 102nd or worse. I think it is fair to say that, at least, the Big XII is a below average pass defense conference. Seven Big XII schools finished 87th or worse in TOTAL defense this season. The highest rated Big XII team for total defense (yards allowed per game) was Texas and they were ranked 50th. In comparison, 9 (of 12) SEC teams were ranked 36th or higher in total defense.

It is true that the SEC had some bad offenses (Auburn, Kentucky, Miss. State, Tennessee and Vanderbilt all finished 103rd or worse in total offense – South Carolina was 97th), but at least six SEC schools cracked the top 55 in total offense (Georgia and Florida were top 25) this season, which is more than can be said about the number of Big XII defenses that cracked the top 55 in total defense (one – Texas, and they were 50th).I think it would be fair to say that the SEC was an average (barely) offensive conference this season, especially with how dominate the SEC’s defenses were.

The point in all of this is that Bradford and McCoy did not see the kind of talent on defense Tebow and Stafford did.

Eight of Stafford’s nine picks this season (and seven just 7 of his TDs) came against six of the top 7 SEC pass defenses; Miss. State was the only team Stafford did not play in the top seven. That’s not an easy haul for any college quarterback. In comparison, Tebow threw 10 touchdowns and ZERO interceptions (ZERO!) against four of the six defenses he could have faced (he did not play Miss. State or Auburn). Granted, he did not throw for many yards against those teams, averaging less than 200 yards a game, but he still handled them with more efficiency that Stafford.

ANYWAY, this whole thing began with me making a statement about not being sure of Bradford’s draft status as the number one quarterback in the class. Looking at these numbers, it seems to me that Bradford may have hit a bit of a perfect storm. He played terrible pass defenses, had an insane offensive line and had a plethora of weapons. He never really had to deal with pressure. The one game he did have pressure in, the Texas game, he threw one-third of his season total picks and lost the game (though he did throw five touchdowns…). When I watch OU on offense, I don’t look at them and go, “Wow, Sam Bradford is INSANELY good,” as much as I go, “That offense is an unstoppable machine.” Whereas, when I watch Florida, I'm more likely to watch and say, “Geez, Tebow is unstoppable.”

I think you could take Tebow, Stafford, McCoy, Todd Reesing, Chase Daniel, Brodie Croyle or Marques Hagans and still have relatively the same kind of success – maybe not 60 points a game success, but success none the less. I mean, who wouldn’t have successes at quarterback there if you’re only going to get sacked in four of the 13 games you play and your conference has 11 teams ranked 90th or worse in pass defense.

However, if you take Tebow from this Florida team, I don’t know if they would be as good of an offense. Much is predicated on Tebow’s ability to run – something Bradford doesn’t do nearly as well as Tebow does. I don’t think Sam Bradford goes to Florida and has a 48-to-6 touchdown-to-interception ratio.

Some may say, “Well, Bradford is going to get his chance in the BCS title game when he plays Florida,” but it is not the same thing. Neither team will have played in over a month. This is no way to judge a players ability against a good team let alone a Championship. Not to say there is nothing to be gained from the game, but this would be a much more meaningful matchup if either team had played in the past five weeks. Stupid BCS.

Anyway, that’s just something I’ve been thinking about. Feel free to make fun of me for it. But please note, the does not mean I don’ think Bradford would not be an excellent quarterback at the next level or that Tim Tebow is the best quarterback in the draft (though I did make it seem that way). Tebow does have an awkward throwing motion, a slow release, concerns about what all the hits he took in college will do to his long term health, concerns about restructing a team's offensive line to account for his blind side being on the right and not the left, his overall ceiling and whether or not he can be a true pocket passer.

But ultimately this is a piece of what is going to be a much larger puzzle of finding the best quarterback in the draft. But I do think the gap between Bradford and the rest of this year’s quarterback class is closer than what ESPN and the rest of the draft guru’s are saying. I guess, that's really the whole point.

Final Playoff Scenario Update

2008-12-23T23:08:00.000-08:00

Championship Picture

#1 Seed: Zou 11-4-1

#2 Seed: Smurfs 10-6

#3 Seed: Inoculators 8-7-1

#4 Seed: Wannabees 7-7-2

------------------------------------

PBC 7-8-1

Saints 7-8-1

Consolation Picture

#1 Seed: PBC 7-8-1

#2 Seed: Saints 7-8-1

#3 Seed: JLT 7-9

#4 Seed: NG 3-11-2

Points Standings (Key for tie-breakers)

PBC: 1547

Inoculators: 1540

Saints: 1539

Wannabees: 1536

JLT: 1505

NFL Teams Who Have Clinched Playoff Spots

New York Giants

Arizona Cardinals

Carolina Panthers

Atlanta Falcons

Tennessee Titans

Pittsburgh Steelers

Indianapolis Colts

NFL Teams Who Are Still Alive

Win and In

Denver Broncos/San Diego Chargers

Baltimore Ravens

Minnesota Vikings

Miami Dolphins

Need Some Help

New England Patriots

New York Jets

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Dallas Cowboys

Chicago Bears

Long Shot

Philadelphia Eagles

Individual Team Situation

The Zou (Clinched Playoff Spot)

The Zou have won their division and will be the number one seed in the Championship playoff.

Krunk Smurfs (Clinched Playoff Spot)

The Krunk Smurfs have won their division and will be the number two seed in the Championship playoff.

Inoculators

The Inoculators can clinch the number three seed with a win OR a Wannabees loss. The Inoculators can clinch a playoff spot with a win OR Wannabee loss or have more total points than the winner of the PBC/Saints matchup.

Wannabees

The Wannabees can clinch the three seed with a win and an Inoculators loss. The Wannabees can clinch a playoff spot with a win. The Wannabees cannot make the playoffs with a loss next weekend.

PBC

Pollard’s Bonecrushers can clinch a playoff berth with a win and a Wannabee loss OR a win and an Inoculators loss plus point help.

Saints

The Saints can clinch a playoff berth with a win and a Wannabee loss OR a win and an Inoculators loss plus points help.

JLT

JLT can clinch the second seed in the consolation playoff with a win and an Inoculators playoff berth.

Playoff Race Update

2008-12-14T23:35:00.001-08:00

Overall Standings

^Zou (10-4-1) GB:-
Smurfs (9-6) GB: 1.5
#Wannabees (7-6-2) GB: 2.5
#Inoculators (8-7) GB: 2.5
------------------------------------
PBC (7-7-1) GB: 3
Saints (7-8) GB: 3.5
JLT (6-9) GB: 4.5
Not Good (3-10-2) GB: 6.5

^ Zou has clinched playoff berth
# Wannabees own tie-breaker over Inoculators

Old Kids

Smurfs (9-6) GB: -
Inoculators (8-7) GB: 1
PBC (7-7-1) GB: 1.5
Saints (7-8) GB: 2

Young Kids

^Zou (10-4-1) GB: -
Wannabees (7-6-2) GB: 2.5
JLT (6-9) GB: 4.5
Not Good (3-10-2) GB: 6.5

^ Won division

Baring some unexpected results from tonight’s game (including Akers and Westbrook combining for 55 points, Philadelphia’s defense losing points, McNabb scoring 67 points) this week’s results seem set. The updated standings are above. Here are some quick thoughts and what each team needs next week.

First, it may be better to finish fifth and miss the playoffs than to be the fourth seed in the playoffs if you are the Inoculators or PBC. Neither team has great playoff keepers, but does have some very good options for 2009 keepers. Add those keepers and a possible number one overall pick and things look pretty good for either of those teams. Finishing fourth and not having a pick higher than fifth overall in next year’s draft does not seem as enticing. Then again, if you can somehow manage to pull out a championship…

Second, the Chiefs suck.

Third – Greatest. Column. Ever. (slightly overstated) Excerpt from Joe Posnanski’s column:

“OK, I’m convinced now. Fire everybody. Fire Carl. Fire Herm. Fire Gunther. Fire the players. After that game, there’s really nothing to say but: Fire them all. And they should not stop there. The Chiefs should hire Greg Robinson back just so they can fire him again. They should call John Mackovic just to remind him that he got fired. They should bring in Donald Trump to walk through Arrowhead’s coaches offices and the locker room, just so everyone will fully understand what’s going on.”

Finally, line of the night from Keith Olbermann: "At Kansas City, they had to play, they sold tickets."

Zou (Clinched playoff berth and Young Kids division)

A win next week locks up the number one seed and the first pick in the Championship draft. The Zou has the Wannabees and Not Good left on his schedule.

Smurfs

A win and an Inoculators loss clinches the Old Kids division and a subsequent playoff spot next week. A win this week or next gains the Smurfs a playoff spot. The Smurfs need to win out and the Zou to lose out in order to earn the number one seed. Remaining schedule: vs. PBC, vs. Inoculators

Wannabees

A win and a PBC loss next week clinches a wildcard spot. The Wannabees cannot win their division. The Wannabees remaining schedule includes The Zou next week and Not Good in Week 17.

Inoculators

A win and a PBC loss next week clinches a wildcard spot. The Inoculators can win the division and the number two seed by winning out. Inoculators remaining schedule: vs. Saints, vs. Smurfs

PBC

Needs two wins and at least one loss from either the Wannabees or Inoculators OR one win and two losses from either the Wannabees or Inoculators. PBC can win the division by winning out, the Smurfs losing out and the Inoculators losing to the Saints. Remaining schedule: vs. Smurfs, vs. Saints

JLT (Eliminated from playoff contention)

JLT is eliminated because there is no scenario where the Inoculators and PBC lose out and the Saints lose a game (the Saints play the Inoculators and PBC to end the season). JLT can earn the first pick in the Consolation in a myriad of scenarios.

Not Good (Eliminated from playoff contention)

Joel is eliminated from the playoffs and cannot gain the top pick in the Consolation draft.

5 Observations: Kansas Football

2008-12-10T23:05:00.000-08:00

Observation #1: Kansas is slow, small and lacks depth.

Other than that, we’re just fine. From watching Kansas games this season, I’d say our biggest weakness is speed. Lack of speed killed us (besides all the injuries) against the Big XII South. Size and lack of depth hurt us in our loss to Nebraska. KU does have some decent speed coming up, though.

2009 Recruiting Class (as of 12/10/08)

Prinz Kande (HS) – Safety – 4.5
Darian Kelly (HS) – Safety – 4.5
Dexter Linton (HS) – Safety – 4.42
Calvin Rubles (JC) – Cornerback – 4.4
Deshaun Sands (HS) – Running back – 4.5
Tyrone Sellers (HS) – Defensive End – 4.57
Jacoby Thomas (HS) – Defensive End – 4.71

2008 Recruiting Class

Lubbock Smith – Cornerback – 4.4
Daymond Patterson – WR/DB – 4.43
Josh Richardson – Linebacker – 4.45
Rod Harris – Wide Reciever – 4.5
Corrigan Powell – Cornerback – 4.5
Sean Ransburg – Athlete – 4.5
Jocques Crawford – Running Back – 4.5
D.J. Marshall – Defensive End – 4.75

Angus Quigley (4.5-40) has been practicing at linebacker the last few days so that could be something we see next season.

Of course, none of these 40 times mean anything if they can’t play football (see: Jocques Crawford). But Kansas really needs to take these last few weeks of recruiting and land some guys with some speed. They do have some guys who are interested in Kansas who would be interesting. Ronnie Wingo, the second rated athlete in the class, is visiting Kansas next week (he’ also visiting MU and Illinois). I doubt he chooses KU, but you never know.

Another issue is Kansas doesn’t have anyone with “elite” speed. They do not have that Talib/Maclin-type (And Erik, I know Maclin is faster than Talib and should never be put in the same sentence – I’ll admit that if you will admit that Talib has an excellent shot at winning the NFC Defensive Rookie of the Year). Speaking of Talib…

Observation #2: Kansas must have an elite athlete in order to compete for a Big XII title.

Kansas lacks top level talent. We are loaded with guys who could be drafted in round four through seven of the NFL draft, but we don’t have a single guy on this roster (as of now) who would be selected on day one of the draft. There is no way Kansas, or any Big XII team for that matter, can compete without at least one elite talent on their roster. We saw the difference this season what not having Talib and Collins had.

I appreciate Mark Mangino’s recruiting style giving that his program is in the middle of nowhere Kansas. But he has got to find a way to lure some top level talent to Kansas. The basketball team has done it – granted they have a bit of a tradition to recruit on – so it is possible. Either way, we need some more 4 and 5 start level talent on this team. Not a ton, but more than we have now.

Observation #3: The South Florida and Nebraska losses killed us.

Consider this on its own: A victory over Nebraska would have meant we would have had the right to get slaughtered by OU, not Missouri. Do with that what you want, but we are not far out from being in the BCS again.

The South Florida loss probably cost us New Years Day bowl. Flip those two games and Kansas is 9-3 (9-4 if you want to include a loss to OU in the Championship game). Erik will probably say that MU is 9-4 and is playing on Dec. 29 so KU would not have had a New Years Day bowl. What Erik does not know is that Kansas’ AD is the craziest man alive and would have pulled it out somehow. Heck, that’s how we got to the Orange Bowl last year.

Observation #4: Kansas has an excellent shot at winning the Big XII North in 2009.

It isn’t so much about who returns as much as it is what everyone else loses. We discussed Missouri’s losses earlier and I fully expect them to go 7-5 next year. Texas Tech will lose Harrell and Crabtree, OU will lose Bradford, four-fifths of their offensive line, Iglesias and two other starting wide outs, and both safeties next season. Texas loses both wide receivers, four-fifths of their offensive line, six defensive starters and, maybe, Colt McCoy (though he says he’s coming back, I don’t believe him – at least not yet). Nebraska loses seven starters on offense (including Ganz, Lucky and Swift) and five starters on defense.

You can look at Kansas and say they lose a lot too, which they do. All three linebackers, both ends, Dexton Fields, both guards and the center are all gone after this season. The difference is none of those guys played this season almost at all due to injury.

Ressing, Sharp, Briscoe, and Meier all return next season. Darrell Stuckey comes back next season along with the entire secondary (all of whom were freshmen or sophomores this season, minus Thornton who missed several games with an injury) Maxwell Onyegbule and Jake Laptad saw most of the action at defensive end in the second half of the season and will be back.

Really, the core of this team is very young and they went 7-5 while being riddled with injuries and playing three teams with at least 11 wins and every ranked team in the conference minus Oklahoma State.

The key for next season is to see how much Texas Tech, Oklahoma, Texas and Nebraska fall off. If Kansas can get two of those games back (likely the Texas Tech and Nebraska games), then Kansas is in the Big XII title game next year.

Observation #5: What the hell is going to happen in 2010?

The entire core of Kansas football leaves after next season. Reesing, Briscoe, Meier and Stuckey are all gone. When they leave, we are going to see the true test of Mark Mangino and if Kansas is really a program that’s going to compete in the Big XII for a while or if the last few seasons have been something of a “We had a tiny quarterback that always found ways to win” period in KU history.

To be honest, MU is going to face that question this season. Was their success the product of being lucky and hitting on a quarterback that knew how to win or was it the beginning of a pattern of success for Pinkel and Mizzou.

I hope both Kansas and Mizzou are entering a period where they will be competitive every season. Take it from a guy who has been bored beating the crap out of MU in basketball year after year. Trust me, it is much more fun when the other team is good to.

Playoff Race Scenarios

2008-12-10T15:04:00.000-08:00

Playoff Standings

Zou: 9-4-1; 1413 pts
Smurfs: 9-5; 1376 pts
PBC: 7-6-1; 1384 pts
Wannabees: 6-6-2; 1320 pts
--------------------------------------
Inoc: 7-7; 1306 pts
JLT: 6-8; 1334 pts
Saints: 6-8; 1312 pts
NG: 3-9-2; 1148

Wildcard Standings

PBC 7-6-1 GB: -
^Wannabees 6-6-2 GB: -
^Inoculators 7-7 GB: -
JLT 6-8 GB: 1
Saints 6-8 GB: 1

^ The Wannabees hold the tie-breaker over the Inoculators by having scored 14 more fantasy points this season.

Old Kids Division Race

Smurfs: 9-5 GB: -
PBC: 7-6-1 GB: 1.5
Inoc.: 7-7 GB: 2
Saints: 6-8 GB: 3

Young Kids Division Race

Zou: 9-4-1 GB: -
Wannabees: 6-6-2 GB: 2.5
JLT: eliminated
NG: eliminated

The Eliminated: Not Good

Joel is done. While technically “Not Good” still has a shot at the playoffs, the only scenario that sees Joel making the playoffs is he won out, managed a tie for forth place due to epic collapses from everyone above him, and scored enough points to win the tie-breaker. This isn’t happening.

On The Fence of Contention: JLT and Saints

Both JLT (vs Zou) and Saints (vs Smurfs) have what would appear to be certain losses this week. A loss for either team would almost certainly eliminate them from contention, but there are still reasonable scenarios they either of them makes the playoffs. We’ll take a stronger look at each team if either wins their matchup.

The Locks: Krunk Smurfs and The Zou

At this point, there are two virtual locks (though they are not officially in the playoffs – yet): The Zou and Krunk Smurfs.

At least one win between now and the end of the season for Erik and he is in the playoffs. The win would clinch a playoff spot and his division.

The Smurfs’ situation is a little less decided compared to the Zou when it comes to winning his division, but Jason is still in very good shape. The Smurfs can also clinch a playoff spot with a win and an Inoculators loss.

Erik’s playoff clinching scenario for Week 15: A win OR an Inoculators/Wannabees loss
Erik’s division clinching scenario for Week 15: A win OR a Wannabees loss

Jason’s playoff clinching scenario for Week 15: A win AND an Inoculators/Wannabees loss

Wildcards: PBC, Wannabees, Inoculators

Only half-a-game separates the third seed Crushers from both the Wannabees and Inoculators, so things are tight to say the least. Of course, what everybody needs is for them to win and everyone else to lose, but here are some specific things each team should look for next week.

PBC

Andrew needs to view this week as a “win and in” situation. First, Andrew shouldn’t worry about JLT and the Saints, because any scenario where Andrew is tied or is just a half a game up on him would mean he would be out either of wildcard spots. With this understood, should Andrew beat the Inoculators this week, he would have all but locked down a playoff spot. A win and things elsewhere going down as projected, the standings would look like this (this assumes WW beats Joel):

PBC (8-6-1) GB: -
WW (7-6-2) GB: .5
KCI (7-8) GB: 1.5

Granted, Andrew would have a matchup against the Smurfs in Week 16, but he would finish the season against the Saints while the Inoculators face the Smurfs that week.

A loss would make things more complicated. Here’s what the standings would look in that case:

WW (7-6-2) GB: -
KCI (8-7) GB: -
PBC (7-7-1) GB: .5

This would put a tremendous amount of pressure on Andrew to beat the Smurfs in Week 16. In fact, a loss to Jason and KCI (vs Saints) and Wannabees (vs Zou) wins would eliminate Andrew from the playoffs.

There is, of course, a scenario where Andrew wins the division, but that is looking unlikely on the moment. Andrew’s focus should be on beating the Inoculators this weekend.

Wannabees

Two things are on the Wannabees agenda: Don’t get upset and keep his points lead.

An upset loss to Joel would be terrible for Jeff. While it would still be possible for him to make the playoffs, it would be a huge hit to his chances.

The biggest thing that he needs to keep on his mind is his points lead on the Inoculators. It is that number that has him in the position he is in now. He needs to makes sure he maintains that number.

Inoculators

As close as the Inoculators are to the playoffs, Ben is still very, very far away. A win this week guarantees the Inoculators little and Ben also has the toughest of the Week 17 matchups. I think the Inoculators are more likely to be out of the playoffs than in.

5 Observations: Missouri football

2008-12-07T23:36:00.000-08:00

Note: I will be writing something similar about KU – and it won’t be happy either – so stay calm, Erik. But feel free to write something if you want.

Observation #1 – Missouri’s season seemed to end after the win over Nebraska.

Missouri beat Nebraska on the road for the first time since Jesus walked the earth to propel MU to a 5-0 start. From that point on, MU was 4-4 and seemed to get worse as the season progressed.

4 Wins
Colorado (5-7): 58-0
Baylor (4-8): 31-28
Kansas St. (5-7): 41-24
Iowa St. (2-10): 52-20

4 Losses
Oklahoma St. (9-3): 28-23
Texas (11-1): 56-31
Kansas (7-5): 40-37
Oklahoma (12-1): 62-21

This isn’t a good sign for Missouri. At least not for a team that was suppose to compete for a National Title. For a team that was suppose get over the big game hurdle and win the Big XII. For a team that was on the fast track to national prominence. What they looked like was a team stuck somewhere between being wildly over-hyped and dreadfully underachieving. Or maybe they were both, I honestly don’t know.

Missouri had no business losing to OKST at home or to a depleted Kansas team on a neutral field. And a team ranked as high as third in the nation should pose a better fight in a conference championship game than their deplorable 62-21 loss to Oklahoma.

Observation #2 – Thinks are not looking good for the 2009 season.

Gary Pinkel’s offensive philosophy almost got him fired a few years ago. My understanding of the story is that Pinkel made the decision to hand over the offense to Christiansen and let him run the spread the season everyone felt was Pinkel was at the end of his rope at MU. Chrisiansen built an offense that, at the very least, made Mizzou a respectable program and gave them some light in the national scene. But Christiansen isn’t the only guy leaving this season, so is half of the offense.

Chase Daniel = Graduated
Chase Coffman = Graduated
Jeremy Maclin = Likely going to the NFL
Tommy Saunders = Graduated
Colin Brown = Graduated
Ryan Madison = Graduated

That’s six offensive starters, three of whom are the core of the offensive boom they’ve experienced the last two seasons, who will be gone in 2009. Who is the playmaker on this team next season?

Derrick Washington was terrible in big games. In the three key games MU played – Oklahoma St., Texas and Oklahoma (I do not count the KU game because nothing could be gained or lost from winning or losing at the time it was played) – Washington rushed for a combined 57 yards on 25 carries (2.28 ypc). If you throw in the Kansas game, he rushed for 111 yards on 36 carries (3.08 ypc). You can interpret this in many ways, but it is clear that MU’s rushing game was non-existent in big games this season.

Blaine Gabbert threw 13 passes this season. As with all young quarterbacks, there will be a learning curve there, but that learning curve is going to happen with Jared Perry and Danario Alexander – who combined this season for fewer catches than Tommy Saunders – as his primary targets and not Jeremy Maclin (presumably) and Chase Coffman.

Andrew Jones is a highly touted tight end recruit who caught 18 passes this season, but are you going to center your entire passing game on a somewhat raw sophomore tight end?

So with no weapons and a head coach whose initial offensive inclination is to pound it out and hope for the best, I don’t see things going well next season.

The Tigers do not have the kind of talent that is ready to replace Daniel, Maclin, Coffman and company anyway. MU will lose 12 of 22 starters to graduation at the end of the season with the prospects of Jeremy Maclin (#2 WR according to ESPN), Sean Weatherspoon (#3 OLB according to ESPN) and Jaron Baston (likely to stay, but is rising draft boards quickly) going pro. This leaves MU replacing 14 starters at least. MU, like most universities not named USC, cannot replace 14 starters, and the core of its most successful teams in recent history, and expect to win 9-plus games next season.

Observation #3 – Mizzou’s success during the Chase Daniel Era (2006-2008).

“Big XII Football since 2006.”

Overall Record (Includes Big XII Championship and Bowl games)
1. OU: 34-7
2. UT: 31-7
3. TT: 28-10
4. MU: 29-11
5. KU: 25-12

Overall Regular Season Conference Record
1. OU: 20-4
2. UT: 18-6
3. MU: 16-8
4. TT: 15-9
5. KU: 14-10

BCS Bowls
OU: 3 bids (2006-2008)
KU: 1 bid (2007)
UT: 1 bid (2008)

Bowls (2008 bids included)
1. UT: 3 bids (Won Alamo Bowl, Won Holiday Bowl)
2. TT: 3 bids (Won Insight Bowl, Won Gator Bowl)
3. OSU: 3 bids (Won Independence Bowl, Won Insight Bowl)
4. MU: 3 bids (Lost Sun Bowl, Won Cotton Bowl)
5. OU: 3 bids (Lost Fiesta Bowl twice)

Note: The five listed schools and Kansas were the only schools who were bowl eligible all three seasons.

Record Against Ranked Teams (Includes Big XII Championship game and Bowls)
1. OU: 11-5 (8-5 vs Top 20; 2-4 vs Top 10)
2. UT: 7-3 (7-3 vs Top 20; 2-3 vs Top 10)
3. MU: 5-6 (2-6 vs Top 20; 1-4 vs Top 10)
4. TT: 5-7 (4-5 vs Top 20; 3-2 vs Top 10)
5. KU: 3-6 (2-5 vs Top 20; 1-4 vs Top 10)

Conference Titles
OU: 3 (2006 - 2008)

Division Titles
OU: 3 (Outright title in 2006 and 2007, shared title with TEX and TT in 2008)
NEB: 2 (Outright title in 2006, shared title with MU in 2008)
MU: 2 (Shared title with KU in 2007, shared title with Nebraska in 2008)
KU: 1 (Shared title with MU in 2007)
TEX: 1 (Shared title with OU and TT in 2008)
TT: 1 (Shared title with OU and TEX in 2008)

Basically what MU has is an 8, 12 and 9 win seasons (one game left of 2008), three bowl bids (one win and another game upcoming) and two Big XII Championship game appearances (and two bad losses to OU). MU was also tied for the third most wins against ranked opponents. Clearly it has been a good time to be an MU fan.

Observation #4: Missouri (and its fans) have misinterpreted their success.

“We have not arrived. I’ve said that … often.” – Gary Pinkel, Head Coach

“Oklahoma is Big 12 champ again, and Missouri again gets to claim runner-up status, even though we realize the distance between No. 1 and No. 2 is more like No. 1 and No. 5.” – Jason Whitlock, KC Star

“You have to figure that Missouri, when it came down to it, just wasn’t that good a football team.” – Joe Posnanski, KC Star

“Mizzou has been punted back into its inglorious past, when its teams had no chance of consistently competing against the sport's elite.” – Bernie Miklasz, St. Louis Post-Dispatch

Now, the situation isn’t as bad as Mr. Miklasz explains it, but part of the reason Miklasz writes these things is because everyone falsely believed Missouri was a championship contender. They’re not; not even close. It seems that Missouri fans were deceived by the point spreads MU put over weak opponents, the athleticism of Jeremy Maclin and their victories over rebuilding/underachieving Nebraska teams. But Texas and Oklahoma showed Missouri fans what Championship teams look like and Missouri is nowhere near that – and if they were, that window is closed now.
Chase Daniel is a good example of Missouri’s season. Daniel had a 15-to-1 TD/INT ratio after the Nebraska game (this means games against such powerhouses as Buffalo, SE Missouri State, Nevada and a “5-7 in the Big 10” Illinois team) and was the Heisman frontrunner. From that point on, Daniel threw at least one interception in each game, finishing with 22 touchdowns, 14 interceptions and a few key fumbles. The kid turned into a turnover machine. There are only 7 quarterbacks in the FBS with more interceptions than Daniel. I’m not saying Daniel sucks, he’s been an excellent college quarterback and will likely end his career with more than 100 career touchdowns, but he’s been very average these last eight weeks and his teams has suffered tremendously for it.

Observation #5: Missouri and Kansas are the same programs.

Yell and scream about that all you want Tigers fans, but it’s true.

Postseason Draft and Keeper Thoughts

2008-12-06T14:38:00.000-08:00

Some thoughts on the postseason drafts and keepers.

Draft

For those of you who were not in the postseason draft last year, here is a quick overview of what that looks like and some of the rules.

- The draft is sixteen rounds long, just like the regular season, and will consist of all players who are in the NFL playoffs.
- Draft order is determined by seed. Also, the first round is fixed, so the snake draft does not begin until the second round. So it will go as such:

Round One
First pick: Seed 1
Second pick: Seed 2
Third pick: Seed 3
Fourth pick: Seed 4

Round Two
Fifth pick: Seed 1
Sixth pick: Seed 2
Seventh pick: Seed 3
Eighth pick: Seed 4

Round Three
Ninth pick: Seed 4
Tenth pick: Seed 3
Eleventh pick: Seed 2
Twelfth pick: Seed 1

Round Four
Thirteenth pick: Seed 1
….

The point of this is to give the higher seeds an advantage for finishing with a better record. A pure snake draft would not value a top seed as much as it should.

- Each team may keep up to six (6) players from their regular season roster for the playoffs. The players will count as your 16th round pick and move up a round per player kept. So if you keep four players, you will lose your 13th through 16th round draft picks. Note: I suggest you keep a player who is actually IN THE PLAYOFFS.
- Because of the amount of keepers and there only being four teams, the draft moves really fast so time shouldn’t be too big of a deal.
- There is no free agency in the playoffs. The sixteen players you draft are the sixteen players you get for the whole playoffs, so you may want to consider the quality of team the player is on when you draft them.
- The roster size and the amount of starters is exactly the same as it is in the regular season. QB, RB, RB, RB/WR, WR, WR, TE, DEF, K and seen bench spots.
- The playoffs are a total points contest, not a weekly head-to-head matchup. All of the playoff weeks are added you to give you one big score. Most points wins. Basically, you want as many points as you can get. In the case of the consolation bracket, first place get the number one pick in next year’s draft, second place gets the second pick, third gets the third pick and fourth place gets the fourth pick. Here was last year’s results for the Championship:
- During the playoffs, everyone must post their starting lineups on the appropriate thread that will be provided on the league page. I will keep all of the scores, but I suggest you keep them too just in case I make a mistake.

Here are a few other things to keep in mind. The Championship Playoff and the Consolation Playoff (I’m working on an alternative name for that) are TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DRAFTS!!! This is not one big draft, so all of the same players will available in the Consolation draft as they will be in the Championship draft. Also, the playoff drafts do absolutely nothing to your regular season rosters that you will be selecting keepers for the 2009 season from. You cannot keep someone from your playoff roster for the 2009 season, so don’t do something stupid with your regular season roster.

Keeper Thoughts

After some more thought, I’ve come up with three possible solutions for keepers. Give me your feedback and we’ll vote on it at the end of the season.

Prop. #1 – Two keepers for each team. Players drafted in the first and second round cannot be kept. Undrafted players count as a 12th round pick (if you keep two undrafted players, than it is your 11th and 12th round pick).

Prop. 2 – Same as proposition one only with three keepers.

Prop. 3 – Three keepers and a developmental keeper (a possible four total keepers). Players drafted in rounds one and two cannot be kept. Undrafted players count as a 12th round pick and move up (rounds 11 and 10) for each additional kept undrafted player. A developmental keeper must be a rookie or second year player (in this case, they would have had to be a rookie for the 2007 or 2008 NFL season) and will count as an 8th round draft pick. If you do not have an 8th round pick, it will move up to your next available round (7th round, 6th round, etc.).

Give me your thoughts. The only non-negotiable thing is the first and second round deal. The purpose is to maintain the value of the first and second rounds. I think we noticed this in last season’s fantasy baseball draft. The point is that Brandon Phillips should be drafted fifth overall in any fantasy draft as is what happened in last year’s FBB draft. My shot at a fantasy football equivalent would be taking Antonio Gates with the fifth overall pick in the draft. Agreed? (No, really, I don’t know what the football equivalent of Brandon Phillips is.)

A Four Week Mad Dash or A Catchy Headline I Couldn't Come Up With About the Last Four Weeks of the Season or Longest. Headline. Ever.

2008-12-04T01:54:00.000-08:00

With four weeks left in the season, lets breakdown the chances of each team making the playoffs and where they may end up.

The Zou (8-4-1) 1313 points
Four Week Schedule: NG, JLT, WW, NG (Combine Record: 17-29-6)
Current Play:off Seed 1st in Championship Playoff

Upside: By record, he has the easiest schedule of all teams and has the highest scoring team. In addition, he has two matchups against the three win “Not Good” – terrible name – and does not play a team with a winning record.

Downside: At this point, only an injury to Adrian Peterson or a bad case of luck – or the “Steve Slaton Effect” as I like to call it – can hold down Erik at this point.

Best Case Scenario: Top seed in Championship Playoff

Worst Case Scenario: Erik drops a matchup and the Smurfs win out to steal the top seed.

Projection: Top seed in Championship Playoff and Young Kids division winner.

Krunk Smurfs (8-5) 1248 points
Four Week Schedule: KCI, SAS, PBC, KCI (Combine Record: 26-25-1)
Current Playoff Seed: 2nd in Championship Playoff

Upside: Jason controls his own fate. He has the advantage of not having to chase anyone in his division and is only an upset away from the best record in the league. One break and he might be the front runner for the league championship.

Downside: All four of his matchups are within the division, which has handed him three of his five losses. Jason is also dealing with many injury issues, including Clinton Portis and Brian Westbrook. Also, the best quarterback on his roster is Jason Campbell.

Best Case Scenario: Top seed in Championship Playoff

Worst Case Scenario: Injuries mount and the Smurfs miss out on the playoffs entirely.

Projection: 2nd Seed in Championship Playoff as Old Kids division winner.

Inoculators (7-6) 1195 points
Four Week Schedule: KS, PBC, SAS, KS (Combine Record: 28-23-1)
Current Playoff Seed: 3rd in Championship Playoff

Upside: The Inoculators control their own destiny with two matchups with the division leader Smurfs and a matchup apiece with PBC and the Saints. Matchups favor the Inoculators fantasy players for the remainder of the season.

Downside: The Inoculators are the second lowest scoring team in the league. Enough said.

Best Case Scenario: Top seed in Championship Playoff – it’s possible but unlikely. A more likely top end result is a division championship.

Worst Case Scenario: The Inoculators could easily lose out.

Projection: Top seed in consolation playoff.

Pollard’s Brady Crushers (6-6-1) 1283 points
Four Week Schedule: SAS, KCI, KS, SAS (Combine Record: 27-25)
Current Playoff Seed: 4th in Championship Playoff

Upside: PBC has the best draw of the final four matchups in comparison of the rest of the division. Andrew has scored the second most points in the league and currently holds any tie-breaker within the division.

Downside: Luck has not been with PBC for most of the season, but he has been on a bit of an upswing the last few weeks. It is feasible that PBC does not make the playoffs even if he goes 3-1 in the final four weeks – but a 3-1 finish could also win him the division. It’s a very shaky situation for PBC, who has little room for error.

Best Case Scenario: A division title and the second seed in the playoffs.

Worst Case Scenario: The third seed in the consolation playoff.

Projection: 3rd seed in the Championship playoff

I Still Have Just LT (6-7) 1279 points
Four Week Schedule: WW, ZOU, NG, WW (Combine Record: 21-24-7)
Current Playoff Seed: 1st in Consolation Playoff

Upside: First, JLT doesn’t have to play The Zou twice. Second, JLT had a streak of three straight 100-point weeks snapped (he scored 94 points against the Smurfs… and lost). Finally, he is only four points behind Andrew for the second highest point total in the league, which could help him in potential tie-breaking situation for a playoff spot.

Downside: If the season ended today, Chris would be out of the championship playoff, meaning he needs some help from the teams above him in addition to taking care of business on his end. However, being a half-game out of the playoffs is not a tough mountain to climb.

Best Case Scenario: A division championship is still within reach, but is unlikely. The third seed in the playoffs is a more likely high-end.

Worst Case Scenario: Miss the playoffs and gets 3rd seed in the consolation bracket.

Projection: Fourth seed in Championship playoff.

Saints (6-7) 1238 points
Four Week Schedule: PBC, KS, KCI, PBC (Combine Record: 27-23-2)
Current Playoff Seed: 2nd in Consolation Playoff

Upside: A few weeks ago, I said he was as good as dead. At 6-7, he’s only a half-a-game out of the playoffs. He has nothing to lose at this point after the way his season started.

Downside: Three losses over the last three weeks may be a sign of a return to his early season form… which was not a good thing.

Best Case Scenario: Tony takes advantage of not having to play the Smurfs twice and steals a wildcard spot away from the Inoculators – the more likely team to not make the playoffs of the current playoff teams.

Worst Case Scenario: Tony maintains his trend and misses the playoffs.

Projection: 3rd seed in consolation bracket.

Weseloh Wannabees (5-6-2) 1213 points
Four Week Schedule: JLT, NG, ZOU, JLT (Combine Record: 23-26-3)
Current Playoff Seed: 3rd in Consolation Playoff

Upside: His two ties are not losses and he put up 138 points last week.

Downside: The Wannabees are 1-3-1 in the last five weeks, though his win was last week. Also, there are a lot of teams ahead of him that he needs to jump over in order to get to the playoffs.

Best Case Scenario: Going 3-1 in the final four weeks is not out of the question. This may be enough for him to steal a fourth seed in the playoffs.

Worst Case Scenario: As likely as 3-1 is, so is 1-3. This wouldn’t be good for Weseloh.

Projection: 2rd seed in consolation bracket.

Not Good (3-8-2) 1068 points
Four Week Schedule: ZOU, WW, JLT, ZOU (Combine Record: 27-21-4)
Current Playoff Seed: 4th in Consolation Playoff

Upside: Destroying WW and JLT’s playoff hopes.

Downside: At this point, there is no downside.

Best Case Scenario: There really isn’t a best case scenario at this point aside from not having the four seed in the consolation bracket.

Worst Case Scenario: None.

Projection: 4th seed in consolation bracket.

Overall Standings for Playoff Spot

#Zou (8-4-1; 1313 pts) GB: -
#Smurfs (8-5; 1248 pts) GB: -
%Inoculators (7-6; 1195 pts) GB: -
%PBC (6-6-1; 1283 pts) GB: -
Just LT (6-7; 1279 pts) GB: .5
Saints (6-7; 1238 pts) GB: .5
Wannabees (5-6-2; 1213 pts) GB: 1
Not Good (3-8-2; 1068 pts) GB: 3
# = Division Leader
% = Wildcard

Division Standings

Old Kids
Smurfs (8-5; 1248 pts) GB: -
Inoculators (7-6; 1195 pts) GB: 1
PBC (6-6-1; 1283 pts) GB: 1.5
Saints (6-7; 1238 pts) GB: 2

Young Kids
Zou (8-4-1; 1313 pts) GB: -
Just LT (6-7; 1279 pts) GB: 2.5
Wannabees (5-6-2; 1213 pts) GB: 2.5
Not Good (3-8-2; 1068 pts) Eliminated

Overall Standing for Top Seed in Playoffs

Zou (8-4-1; 1313 pts) GB: -
Smurfs (8-5; 1248 pts) GB: .5
Inoculators (7-6; 1195 pts) GB: 1.5
PBC (6-6-1; 1283 pts) GB: 2
Just LT (6-7; 1279 pts) GB: 2.5
Saints (6-7; 1238 pts) GB: 2.5
Wannabees (5-6-2; 1213 pts) GB: 3
Not Good (3-8-2; 1068 pts) Eliminated

Thoughts

2008-11-12T00:36:00.001-08:00

First, sorry for the lack of blog posts. I need to do better.

Second, a message to Andrew: Stop being bitter. No one needs to hear about how "unlucky" you are. There is no luck in fantasy sports (**previous sentence typed with heavy sarcasm**). If you're so unlucky, write a blog about it, bitch. Get over yourself.

Third, I want to apologize to Tony for saying that his season was over the last time I wrote a blog post. He's won five of his last six and should be commended for that. I still think you're gay though.

Fourth, three guys I severely regret dropping: Matt Ryan (ugh), Anthony Gonzalez, the Jets D/ST (see last Sunday).

Odd Statistical Finding #1: Apparently, there is a home field advantage in fantasy football – who knew? Six of the eight teams in our league have a .500 or better record at home (Jeff is 1-4, Andrew is 2-3). Only three teams, Jason (3-3), Erik (3-1) and Jeff (3-1-1) have winning records on the "road". Weird. For space eating sake, here is this week's schedule with home/away records:

Wannabees (Road: 3-1-1) at Inoculators (Home: 4-1)

The Zou (Road: 3-1) at Saints (Home: 4-0)

Just LT (Road: 1-3) at Crushers (Home: 2-3)

Not Good (0-4-1) at Smurfs (Home: 2-2)

Odd Statistical Finding #2: Andrew is 0-5 against the Young Kids division. Andrew sucks.

Looking Back at Guys I Thought Would Not Be As Good After the First Four Weeks or The Longest Title for a Worthless Time-Wasting Segment Ever

Guys I Thought Would Slow Down:

Frank Gore: First 4 Games = 89 points (18.5 Points Per Week), Last 5 Games = 66 (13.2 ppw)

Brandon Marshall: F4 = 64 (16 ppw), L5 = 32 (6.4 ppw)

Larry Fitzgerald: F4 = 70 (17.5 ppw), L5 = 64 (12.8 ppw)

Michael Turner: F4 = 89 (22.25 ppw), L5 = 66 (13.2 ppw)

Kurt Warner: F4 = 79 (19.75 ppw), L5 = 114 (22.8 ppw) – oops.

Anquan Boldin: F4 = 76 (19 ppw), L5 = 57 (11.4 ppw)

(It should be noted that Boldin missed two weeks with an injury and in his last three games has averaged 19 points a week.)

A List of Guys Tyler Thigpen Out Fantasy Pointed Last Week or A List of Guys I Never Would Have Thought I Would Say Tyler Thigpen Was Better Than (At Least For A Week):

Peyton Manning

Donovan McNabb

Ben Roethlisberger

Brett Favre

Tom Brady

Tony Romo

LaDainian Tomlinson

Brian Westbrook

Every Wide Receiver except for Eddie Royal (!) and Reggie Wayne.

Thoughts On The Chiefs

First off, the Chiefs have been far more entertaining to watch the last three weeks than the first six. Tyler Thigpen is far more easy on the eye than Brodie Croyle or Damon Huard have ever been. I like that we are competing and are not getting shelled week after week.

With that said, here are my three concerns.

First, what are the odds that, in a year we will likely go 1-15 or 2-14 that the NFL – the parity league – produces an 0-16 team? Seriously, we're cursed. Here is the remaining schedule for the Lions: @ CAR (7-2), vs TB (6-3), vs TEN (9-0), vs MIN (5-4), @ IND (5-4), vs NO (4-5), @ GB (4-5).

Second, I am fearful that with the success of Tyler Thigpen the Chiefs will fail to draft a quarterback in the first or second round. Look, Tyler has played three good games, but he is still the guy who laid that Atlanta turd. In addition, the Chiefs have played such stellar pass defenses as the Jets and the Chargers. And when we played Tampa Bay, the one good defense we've played the last three weeks, Thigpen managed just 164 yards passing. It's not that I don't hope he's the real deal, because I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY do. But at the same time, Derek Anderson looked like the real deal last season and look where he is now. The Chiefs still need to be thinking QB with one of their two top 35 picks.

Third, the Chiefs defense sucks. Here are a series of sexy rankings.

Yards Per Game (406.2) = 32^nd

Points Per Game (27) = 27^th

Pass Yards Per Game (233.9) = 24^th

Rush Yards Per Game (172.3) = 32nd

Third Down Percentage (51%) = 32^nd (teams convert 51% -FIFTY-ONE PERCENT!!!!!!!!!!!! – of their third downs against the Chiefs! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!)

We will have nearly $50 million in cap space next season assuming the rumors of LJ getting cut and Tony G. getting traded come true – that and the additional cap space increase that happens after every season. Freaking sign one of the following guys please:

Albert Haynesworth

Terrell Suggs

Nnamdi Asomugha

Jonathan Vilma

Karlos Dansby

One of those five guys has to be going after the highest bidder, right? I mean, we could almost double anybody else's offer. One of them has to accept it, am I right???? Am I RIGHT?!?!?!one!!!???11??!one111!!??/!??!?$@#?!@??!#@?#?$@#?$?@#?!!??? GOD OUR DEFENSE SUCKS!!!!

(Note: They did play well last Sunday for the most part.)

Power Rankings

Zou
Saints
Smurfs
Just LT
Brady Crushers
Wannabees
Inoculators
Not Good (Joel, how do you always come up with the gayest names? Seriously, how do you do that?)

As the Chiefs Turn: Episode 1

2008-10-05T16:59:00.001-07:00

[It is 736 a.m. Wednesday morning and the Chiefs return to practice for the first time since their 34-0 loss to Carolina three days earlier. Carl Peterson is outside the facility in a leather jacket and dark sunglasses, sitting and smoking a cigar while watching the sun continue its daily ascent. This peaceful morning is disturbed by a black Escalade sending deep bass vibrations through the air, shaking the ground. From the Escalade steps Larry Johnson who promptly tips his driver, flashes the Diamond Cutter sign and walks towards Peterson.]

Johnson: Sup, King Carl. [Johnson bends down to one knee to kiss Peterson's ring then rises.]

Peterson: Beautiful morning isn't it?

Johnson: Sumthin' like that. See the game Sunday?

Peterson: No. There was no need.

Johnson: Permission to speak freely, sir.

Peterson: Granted.

Johnson: I still can't believe you're paying me $42 million to rush for two yards on seven carries.

[They each erupt in laughter, engaging in a hybrid handshake-hug.]

Johnson: But, no, really, I can't believe you did that.

Peterson: Well, I owed you for the first three years of production. Besides, we couldn't just sell Tony Gonzalez jerseys. We needed diversity.

Johnson: Damn straight.

Peterson: Anything on your mind?

Johnson: Well, we need to talk about the Plasma TV in my locker. It is starting to – [Tony Gonzalez has arrived to the facility and is walking towards Johnson and Peterson.] I've got to go. Later, King. [Peterson nods.]

Peterson: Tony!

Gonzalez: What the fuck is going on?!?! You said you'd fix this shit.

Peterson: It's a process, Tony, you know that. I thought you'd be happy today after setting the all-time receiving yards by a tight end record. Did you know I drafted you?

Gonzalez: I should have set that record at home, you know that. But that is besides the point. We got our asses handed to us Sunday, what are we going to do about it? We have a bye this week, there's gotta be someone we can trade for or sign to bring in here and start at quarterback for us.

Peterson: Have you forgotten that Brodie returns this week?

Gonzalez: That kid sucks! He get's hurt in every other game he starts. What are you –

Peterson: Tony, Tony, Tony. You're starting to sound like those media guys, that's not the Tony I remember. Now you and I both know that Brodie is the next Brett Favre. Everyone in my front office says so. Clark Hunt agreed with me when he called me last week from Fiji. We all know our bright future rests in his hands starting in about four or five years.

Gonzalez: But I'm not going to be around in four or five years, Carl.

Peterson: How do you know? I'll keep you around. There is no age limit to when it comes to resigning players. Think of the guys I have signed: Ty Law, Patrick Surtain, Damian MacIntosh, Adrian Jones, Sammie Knight, Trent Green, Eddie Kennison and so on and so forth. You know I will resign you for as long as I possibly can. If we didn't, we wouldn't have anyone's jersey to sell, would we?

Gonzalez: I don't know, Carl. You said we would be Super Bowl contenders by now. I've played in two playoff games in my entire career, I want to win something someday.

Peterson: Hey, Tony, winning? It's overrated. Look how long I've had my job and I haven't won anything. Look at all the money I'm making, the friends I have. Remember when I had lunch with President Bush last year? How many other teams who didn't win the Super Bowl are having President Bush come and have dinner with them? No one. Look, you still have a lot to learn, Tony. Look at what Larry is doing right now. He's hanging with Jay-Z, making rap albums, bashing the media, you know there is a lot you can learn from him. Heck, his contract is worth more than yours.

Gonzalez: …

Peterson: Go get ready for practice and think about what I just told you.

[Meanwhile, while Herm Edwards is in his office reviewing the week's game plan, Jamal Charles walks in.]

Charles: Coach?

Edwards: Huh? Hey! Hey, come on in JC, what's goin' on?

Charles: Hey, um, I know I'm a rookie and everything and I don't want to be out of line when I say this, but –

Edwards: Now, now, Jamal, think about what you're going to say before you say it. Think really hard.

Charles: Yeah, well, I have thought about it really hard and I think I should be getting more touches early in the game. I feel like I can help us win games if I got the ball earlier. I'm not sayin' Larry shouldn't be starting or anything, but I'm just sayin' that I can help the team if I got the ball a little more earlier in the game.

Edwards: Jamal, come now. You and I both know we can't do that. Larry is the heart and soul of this team.

Charles: Yeah, about that… um… nobody likes him so much. Actually, I don't think I've ever talked to him before. He just kinda stares at me when I say "Hi" and then walks off.

Edwards: Psh, Larry wouldn't do that. I know Larry and Larry isn't like that. You're just getting a little rookie hazing, that's all.

Charles: Well, that's what I thought at first. But then, the other day, I was going through my locker and there was a knife with a note taped to it and it said, "Don't fuckin' think about taking my job away, Love LJ" and he was just there staring at me.

Edwards: Nah, I know Larry and he definitely would have used a Gat if he wanted you taken out. At least that's what he did with me a couple of weeks ago… But, yeah, he's not like that. I think you're just being messed with a little – and it's okay. It's okay to be messed with a little. It makes you a better player. Look what it's done for Pat Thomas and Rudy Niswanger.

Charles: Well, right… [Charles squirms in his chair and trys to avoid direct eye contact with Larry Johnson who is now peering at him through the window of Edwards' office.] Anyway, I just wanted to see if I could get a few more touches, that's all.

Edwards: Now, Jamal, you've got a lot to learn. Being a coach in this league, being a guy who has to put stuff together, game plans, its not that easy. You see other teams, teams like who we'll be facin', they'll be thinkin', "Wow, we need to prepare for this Charles kid, he's pretty good." And you know what happens when other teams start thinking about you? [Charles shakes his head.] They stop thinking about Larry. And when they stop thinking about Larry then that means we have a chance to win some football games. And we play to win the game, right? That's what we play for, to win the game.

But, there is something I want to show you, a new package for next week. [Charles sits up a little straighter, continuing to avoid the eye contact of Johnson.] This, this right here, this is what is going to turn our season around. It's the wishbone and you're going to be a part of it.

Charles: Oh, so, you're going to have me and LJ in the backfield at the same time then, that's cool.

Edwards: Oh no, no, no, no, no. [Edwards lets out a hardy laugh.] Rookies… No, we want you to play right tackle. I saw that block you threw on that one pass play a few weeks ago –

Charles: The one where Brodie ended up getting hurt?

Edwards: Yeah, that one. That was a great block. Anyway, we want you to play left tackle –

Charles: You mean right tackle?

Edwards: Don't interrupt me son. As I was sayin', you're going to play right tackle, but what we are going to do is we are going to line you up so that you'd be considered an eligible receiver.

Charles: So, I'm really playing tight end then?

Edwards: Yeah, right, point guard. So, what we are going to do is have LJ and Will Smith in the backfield and –

Charles: Will?

Edwards: Yeah, he's our primary back in this set. We're trying to mix things up a little here, Jamal.

Charles: You know, we ran this one play at Texas where we had a two-tight end set in the I-formation and we just gave the ball to me and I just ran it up the middle. That normally worked pretty well.

Edwards: [Edwards gives him a confused look.] So, you'll be the third baseman and LJ and Smith will be in the backfield. But here's the kicker now, the thing that no one is going to expect: Derrick Johnson will be the quarterback. Huh! What do ya think of that?! Genius!

Charles: [Charles looks at Edwards blankly.] Who do I talk to about being traded?

[On the other end of the complex, Bernard Pollard and Jarred Page are working on tackling drills with Gunther Cunningham.]

Cunningham: No, no! Fucking ass fuckers, you use your balls not you brain when you fuckin' tackle somebody! Do it right you goddamn mother fuckers or I'll fuck your skulls until they fucking bleed football jiz!

Page and Pollard: What?

Cunningham: Brainless turd whipes.

Page: You know, I wouldn't be that bad at tackling if some of your linebackers would do the job for me before backs ever get to the secondary. I mean DeAngelo Williams is about six-times my size. How the hell am I supposed tackle that guy on every other play?

Cunningham: With your balls, bitch, with your balls! Now fucking hit that mother fuckin' dummy you motherless son of a bitch!

[Page runs through the tackling dummy using proper technique. Pollard follows by trying to tackle the dummy with just his legs. He fails.]

Cunningham: What the fuck are you doing, Pollard?!

Pollard: Using my balls.

Cunningham: Now THAT'S how you fuck over a fucking tackling dummy mother fuckers! Hey, Williams, Thomas, Johnson, Practice Squad Guy, get over here! [All the linebackers, even the unnamed ones start jogging towards Cunningham.] No, no, Harris you fucking go back to fucking yourself. You fucking suck. Just the good linebackers, here, now! [All the linebackers except Harris now surround Cunningham. Cunningham takes a deep breath and begins to calmly speak to his troops.] I coached Derrick fucking Thomas. I coached Neil fucking Smith. I am responsible for Dale Carter's addiction to crack. But none of them, and I mean none of them, had the balls of steel Bernard fucking Pollard has. [Everyone looks to Pollard in shock. Pollard stares back at his teammates in kind.] Now, Pollard, show them how a man tackles a fucking football player. [Pollard proceeds to tackle the tackling dummy with his legs. Quiet snickers from those who bothered to pay attention ensue.] That's… [Cunningham begins to tear up.] That's how you fuck up a dummy. Learn from that men, learn from that.

[A few hours later Kevin Keitzman begins his segment with Jack Harry.]

Harry: The Chiefs suck. Suck suck suck suck suck suck suck ticket prices suck suck suck suck Carl Peterson suck suck suck suck quarterback suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck the draft suck suck suck suck suck suck suck suck sucks Herm Edwards suck suck suck suck suck suck suck 2 yards rushing suck suck suck suck suck suck $42 million suck suck suck suck salary cap suck suck suck suck suck no Super Bowl appearances suck suck suck suck suck suck 20 years suck suck suck suck suck suck I'm an old grumpy man suck suck suck suck suck suck Clark Hunt.

Keitzman: I couldn't agree more. I just… wow… Do you want to make love later?

Harry: Yes, I'd like that, Kevin.

Danny Klinksdale: Can I join in? Make it a threesome?

Harry and Keitzman: No.

[Soren Petro turns on a mike and begins talking.]

Petro: Sorry to break in on the love fest, but I think some people are missing the point. Yes, Peterson and Edwards share a lot of the blame for the turd they laid Sunday, but think about this for a minute. The Chiefs are going to be about $45 million under the salary cap this offseason and have a bunch of high draft picks. If the Chiefs go out there and have another draft like they did last offseason in April, find a quarterback and allow the natural progression of some of their younger players, the Chiefs have a shot at having a decent season in 2009.

Keitzman: But did you see Sunday's game? Carl Peterson has been here for 20 years and I hate him.

Petro: I understand and I don't always agree with what Peterson and Edwards do on a week to week basis, but the point is that the Chiefs have a chance this offseason to go out and draft a quarterback, sign some good free agents and have a solid roster for next season.

Keitzman: No playoff wins in 15 years!

Petro: [Brief silence.] I understand, but you have to look at the bigger picture here. Herb Taylor played a hell of a game against a perennial All-Pro D-end in Julius Peppers, whose name was only called once and that was because Damon Huard didn't have the ability to take one freaking step up in the pocket and deliver the ball because he sucks. Taylor and Albert look like they can anchor the ends for a long time in Kansas City. If the Chiefs can just go out there and find themselves a center and guard, maybe Richardson can be that guard, draft a quarterback then the Chiefs could be a decent team next season and be well on their way to a playoff-type roster.

Harry: But Carl Peterson.

Keitzman: Yeah, Carl Peterson. I hate that guy.

Petro: [Extended silence.] But the Chiefs can easily go out there and fill some major holes this offseason. There are a ton of guys out there who can fit into what the Chiefs are trying to do. And it looks like the draft is shaping up in a way that favors what the Chiefs need.

Keitzman: Carl. Peterson. Parking. Prices. 20. Years.

Petro: [A more extended silence.] Fine. The Chiefs suck. Suck suck suck suck suck suck suck ticket prices suck suck suck suck Carl Peterson suck suck suck suck quarterback suck suck suck suck…

Keitzman: Ah! [Harry and Keitzman let out a hardy chuckle.] I knew you would see the light buddy.

Petro: …

Keitzman: Thanks for coming on, man.

Petro: Right, anytime.

Keitzman: Ah, Petro is a good guy. So, Jack, about the love making thing...

Quarter-Season Rant/Review/Revision

2008-10-04T19:16:00.001-07:00

The Rant

I think now would be the time to let everyone know that the fantasy gods hate me. What other reason would my team be 2-2 at this point? Really? What in God's name was Wade Phillips thinking only giving the ball to Marion Barber eight times (EIGHT!) last week? When did Steve Slaton decide to be Jesus in cleats, but only when he's not starting on my team? I lead the league in bench points with 236 so far this season. Now, you're going to say I've looked up everyone else's bench points and then compared them. Well, you'd be wrong there, buddy, because my gut says the fantasy god's are screwing with my team on purpose. I strongly feel Sarah Palin has something to do with this, but I'm not quite sure yet.

I would also like to this time to send a message to Mr. T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Mr. Braylon Edwards: STOP SUCKING ON PURPOSE YOU SONS OF BITCHES!!! What the hell, man? Houshmandzadeh has had one good game (and wouldn't you know it, he was on my bench) where he scored 25 points against the Giants. Aside from that game, Edwards and Houshmandzadeh have combined for 25 points in the other 7 games they've played in. Seriously, what the hell?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I would also like to take this time to announce that Drew Brees and Jay Cutler are tied for the lead in fantasy points out of all fantasy players. Drew Brees and Jay Cutler. I think now would be a good time to note that the Chiefs could have had either of those players, but did not.

Drew Brees – Free Agent signing in 2006; 6-year, $60 million

Jay Cutler – Draft by Broncos with 11^th overall pick after trading their 15^th and 68^th overall pick to St. Louis. STL got Tye Hill and Claude Wroten with those picks. An equivalent trade with the Rams would have prevented the Chiefs from drafting Tamba Hali and one Brodie Croyle. Ingle Martin was taken in the fifth round of that draft by the way. I would trade Brodie Croyle and Tamba Hali for Jay Cutler RIGHT NOW if I could. But we can't. Son of a bitch.

I think now would be a bad time to mention that Andrew owns both Brees and Cutler.

Anyway, fantasy has not been kind to me this season. I can't wait until Andrew goes in a recession the likes our economy is in. Also, what is the deal with all these ties??? STOP IT!!!

The Review

Through the first four weeks of the season, I think there are two teams that we can push off the cliff: The JQ's and Marc's (small) Bulger (or is that Trent Green's?).

JQ was hit by the injury of Tom Brady (rendering Randy Moss useless and unmotivated), thinking Eli Manning was a good fantasy option, buying into the Brandon Jacobs hype, drafting Steven Jackson, and having eight players on his roster being ranked 15^th or worse (that would be half his roster). The good news is that it appears he has an excellent keeper prospect in Aaron Rodgers and a good shot going the entire season with as many wins as the Chiefs.

MB just sucks. First of all, Ryan Grant equals REALLY overrated. Second, he has one running back ranked in the top 20 (one). Third, he has 11 players ranked 20^th or worse at their positions on his roster. At least he has Chris Johnson as a keeper prospect. Additionally, it is completely possible he goes the entire season without winning a matchup (I write that knowing he is going to beat me when I face him; It will also be his only win).

Players with Fast Starts Who Will Slow Down Over the Next Four Weeks

PBC – Frank Gore, Brandon Marshall, Larry Fitzgerald

Frank Gore has rushed against three terrible defenses in Arizona, Detroit and New Orleans. Over the next four weeks, Gore will face far more stiff competition in New England (coming off a BYE), Philly, Giants, and Seattle (held Gore to 61 yards in week two). Gore has a BYE in week nine.

You would think, at some point, defenses would figure out Brandon Marshall is the only guy Cutler throws the ball too. Marshall has Tampa Bay, Jacksonville and at New England before a BYE in week eight.

Larry Fitzgerald is about to have to have another new quarterback (again) and will have Buffalo, Dallas, a BYE week and Carolina the next four weeks.

Just LT – Michael Turner, Kurt Warner, Anquan Boldin

Turner has 89 fantasy points in four weeks with 80 of them coming against Detroit and KC. Against decent to good defenses (TB and CAR) he has 9 fantasy points. The next four weeks he has Green Bay, Chicago, a BYE and Philly. Weeks nine through eleven will be his next big point games if he is still alive by then.

Warner is on the verge of losing his job for the next few weeks. He'll get it back though, don't worry.

Boldin (see: Fitgerald, Larry).

The Revision

Here is my updated power rankings:

PBC
ZOU
Inoculators
Wannabees
Smurfs
Just LT
JQ's
Marc's Bulger

Erik: "Give Croyle a chance and some options"

2008-09-28T15:22:00.001-07:00

This is my response to Ben's previous blog post about how the Chiefs need to be "fixed."

The Chiefs do need help at quarterback, there is no doubt about it. But the Chiefs need help around the quarterback too. No quarterback is going to excel with a sub-par offensive line and no deep threat. So, here is what I would do if I got to sit in Carl Peterson’s chair this off-season.

#1 – Don’t give up on Brodie Croyle. Yeah, I know noboby will probably agree with this but there's a not a better option out there. He has talent and is getting better, but he’s definitely injury-prone. With that in mind, the Chiefs need to trade for or take a quarterback in the draft to be the back-up. This shouldn’t be a Damon Huard back-up. It needs to be a guy who can eventually take over if Croyle doesn’t improve with more help around him. It’s not like there is a sure-fire stud out there in the draft. Stafford might develop into the number one pick by the time the draft rolls around, but he’s not there yet.

Furthermore, the free agency class doesn't have the answer at quarterback like Ben pointed out. As for Alex Smith, the 49'ers won't cut him unless there is something seriously wrong with him mentally or physically. They have too much money invested in Smith to give him away ... especially when they are not tearing it up with O'sullivan.

As far as trade options go, Leinart and Anderson aren't going to cut it. Leinart won't be moved by the Cardinals. They know Warner isn't the long-term solution. Leinart will start sometime this year and will start next year. Anderson had one good year ... he has to show a lot more than that for me to want to deal for him. He is struggling this year and he would basically be stepping into an offense with the same weapons he has now in Cleveland.

#2 – Get some help for Croyle. Sign Jordan Gross to solidify the right tackle spot. Gross and Albert should help to form a fine offensive line in front of Croyle. I don't mind Ben's idea of adding a receiver like Houshmandzadeh or Williams (I'd prefer Williams), but why would a receiver like that want to come to Kansas City? We don't throw the ball a lot and we don't a quarterback that would lure a free agent wideout who will have plenty of options.

#3 – Help the offense in the draft. The defense is young and has a lot of potential. They need another linebacker, some help at safety and a pass-rush specialist, but the offense needs the injection of youth that the defense has recently received. Don’t change the plan and try to fix the offense with a bunch of free agents.

Here’s my thoughts on what the Chiefs could do in the draft

First Round – Michael Crabtree – WR – Texas Tech – Bowe is a good, big receiver but he doesn’t stretch the field and he drops too many footballs. On the other side of the field the Chiefs’ have Devard Darling who was easily tracked down on what should have been a game-tying touchdown against New England this year. Crabtree isn’t a 4.3 guy, but he has more speed than Bowe and Darling and will only continue to get better as he is still new to the position of wide receiver (high school QB).

Other options: Matt Stafford, Rey Maualuga, James Lauranitis, Michael Oher and Jeremy Maclin (I'm trying not be a homer by not picking him)

Second Round – Duke Robinson – OG – Oklahoma – Robinson is a large fellow at 6’4" 330 and has very quick feet. Robinson and Albert would give the Chiefs’ offensive-line two cornerstones to build around.

Other options: Taylor Mays, William Moore, Nic Harris, Percy Harvin, George Selvie

Third Round – Chase Daniel – QB – Missouri – Yeah, here's the homer pick ... He’s not big enough and doesn’t have Matt Stafford arm strength, but all the guy does is win. He will live in the film room and has NFL-caliber arm strength. I like Daniel to back-up Croyle and maybe take his spot down the line. Reminds many of another too small QB from Texas, Drew Brees.

Other options: Brian Orakpo, Phil Loadholt, Kevin Ellison, Hunter Cantwell

In the fourth through seventh rounds, the Chiefs need to add depth to their linebacking core, find help at safety if they don’t draft it in the first three rounds and find a dependable kicker (Woffert, Swank).

This general idea would give the Chiefs an offense of:

LT - Albert

LG - Waters

C - Niswanger

RG - Jones

RT - Gross

QB - Croyle, Daniel

RB - LJ, Charles

FB - Cox

WR - Bowe

WR - Crabtree

TE - Gonzalez

Third WR - Franklin

Solving the Quarterback Crisis or What I Would Do If I Were the GM of the Kansas City Chiefs

2008-09-23T21:35:00.000-07:00

Step One: Admit you have a problem.

Shocking revelation: Tyler Thigpen (he started last week...!!!!) and Brodie Croyle (he's hurt... again) are not going to be the future at the starting quarterback position for a myriad of reasons. We will avoid going into details, but I guarantee you Croyle and Thigpen are not the answers.

Step Two: Locate the Solutions.

There are three ways the Chiefs can acquire a QB this offseason: Free Agency, Trade or the Draft. Here are my "best availables" in those three catagories:

Free Agency: None. Unless, of course, you feel Charlie Batch, Matt Cassel, Kyle Boller or Rex Grossman are the answers to the Chiefs long-term quarterback problem. Although, Grossman did go to a Superbowl... **thick sarcasm**

BUT, there is another possibility. It is reported that Alex Smith could be released at the end of this season.

Alex Smith
6'4", 220
Former #1 Overall Draft Pick

Thoughts: Smith has the physical tools, he is just in a terrible situation. To imphasise this situation, here are three facts: Smith has had to learn four new offensive systems in his first four years in the NFL; It is widely speculated that Smith was placed on the IR for the 2008 season not because his shoulder is not healthy, but because his coach, Mike Nalen, doesn't really care for him; Brandon Lloyd is the best receiver he has ever had on his team (Lloyd doesn't even start for the Bears... think about that). Smith, in my opinion, could be a stud given the opportunity. He's smart, works hard and won't turn 25 until May of 2009. On the surface, the injury issue is concerning, but looking deeper at the subject has made me less concerned. Smith played with THREE torn ligaments in his throwing shoulder before the 49ers shut him down (Croyle won't even play with a "sprained" shoulder). His injury this year, a broken bone in his shoulder, may not be as severe as the reports and actions from the 49ers suggest, but more of a way to create a semi-peaceful separation. If he is not released, I would certainly put him on my list of guys to trade for.

Trade: Derek Anderson or Matt Leinart. I think both of these guys could be had for a reasonable price. I'll break them down individually.

Derek Anderson
6'4", 225
2007 Pro Bowl QB

Thoughts: He's had a tough start to the season and it doesn't help that his teammates are not living up to their expectations. Braylon Edwards is not healthy. Kellen Winslow is spending more time blocking and less time getting open. Jamal Lewis is averaging an LJ-esque 3.5 yards-per-carry and has yet to score a touchdown. So it is not all Derek Anderson. But there is clearly pressure to start the golden boy making millions over Anderson right now. I think Anderson is far more available than Quinn in addition to the fact that I think Quinn will not be that good anyway (but he's a hell of a lot better than Croyle or Thigpen).

I think Anderson is a perfect fit for the Chiefs. He has good size, a good arm, is decently accurate and has a ton of football left in front of him. He seems like the kind of blue collar, Rich Gannon- (minus the mobility)/Trent Green- (with more mobility) type of guy Chiefs fans would love. Granted, in his first full year last season he threw 19 picks which isn't good. But, he is only 25 and Trent Green threw 24 picks in his first full year as a starter. I think he could be had for a conditional draft pick in 2010 or a third rounder in 2009.

Matt Leinart
6'5", 225
Heisman Trophy Winner, 10th Overall Draft Choice

Thoughts: The talent is there, we've seen it. The problem is the Arizona Cardinals refuse to develop Leinart. That is the only explanation to me. Leinart has never started a full NFL season and is frequently pulled for Kurt "freaking" Warner mid-game. People have questioned his desire to play the game, but how much of it is his head or the Cardinals messing with his head? And think about who has coached this guy the last two years - Dennis Green. Think about that really hard. Of course he's screwed up. And have I mentioned he plays for a cursed franchise? I think the Cardinals have as much, if not more, to do with the lack of success Leinart has had. He could be had for a 3rd rounder in '09 and a conditional pick in 2010 in my mind.

Draft: Mark Sanchez, Tim Tebow, Matt Stafford, Sam Bradford, Hunter Cantwell. It should be noted that Sanchez, Tebow and Bradford all still have college eligibility remaining.

I would draft one of these guys in the first or second round even if I traded or signed Alex Smith, Derek Anderson or Matt Leinart and have them sit for two or three years before considering them as a starter (baring injury).

Step Three: Pray like hell someone pans out.

Finding a quarterback isn't exactly a exact science, but you can't win without one (see: 2008 Chiefs; 2008 Patriots; 2008 Rams). Luck is needed, which is why I would try to find two quarterbacks this offseason with at least one being from the draft.

Other Things I Would Do If I Were GM Besides Replacing Herm Edwards with Bill Cower (Subject to change):

Sign T.J. Houshmandzadeh - I bet that guy can't wait to get out of Cincinnati. He's a vertical threat who has the same kind of toughness Dwayne Bowe only with a little more speed. (Plan B - Roy Williams; Plan C - Lee Evans)

Sign Marc Colombo - I don't think the Cowboys have the salary cap space to resign him. Colombo is a large man (6'8", 320) who could dominate the right tackle position for the Chiefs for the next 5 to 7 years. (Plan B - Jordan Gross; Plan C - Mark Tauscher)

Draft James Laurinaitis, ILB, Ohio State, in the first round - We need to solve our freaking middle linebacker problem. We absolutely SUCK there. It is the second weakest position on the team after quarterback (hey, what are the odds the two weakest positions on the team are the two most important positions on the offensive and defensive sides of the ball?).

Draft Mark Sanchez, QB, USC, in the second round - I think Sanchez will come out early and will fall to the first pick of the second round. Why? Because I want him and I took Laurinaitis in the first round.

Draft Alex Mack, C, California, in the third round - Mack is the "best center prospect in a long time" according to one really generic draft site. With that said, I've watched Cal play this season and didn't notice him at all, which I suppose isn't a bad thing.

Draft Marko Mitchell, WR, Nevada, in the fourth round - Mitchell is 6'4", 200-pounds and runs a 4.45-40. So how will he fall to the fourth round you ask? Because the potential 2009 wide receiver class is loaded. How about this for a top four: Percy Harvin, Michael Crabtree, Jeremy Maclin and Darrius Heyward-Bay. A 40 time of 4.40 makes Crabtree the slowest receiver of the bunch. That's not a misprint, I did say slowest. Anyway, Mitchell had a 42-yard TD reception in Nevada's 1,000,000,000 - 17 loss to Mizzou two weeks ago.

Draft Maurice Crumm, Jr., OLB, Notre Dame, in the fifth round - Crumm makes just makes tackles, which is more than I can say for the rest of the Chiefs current linebacking core. And yes, I have watched him play and I'm not proud of it. Watching Notre Dame games is brutal, but it is fun watching Charlie Wise blow out his knee.

Draft Sam Swank, K, Wake Forrest, in the sixth round - He doesn't miss field goals (novel idea for a kicker) and is 9-of-12 from beyond 50-yards in his college career.

Draft Steve Rehring, OG, Ohio State, in the seventh round - 330-pounds is a lot of weight and that's how much he carries. I don't know the depths of his talents (I've only seen him play once and I must admit that I had no idea who he was until I started looking up guards a few hours ago). I do have one rule though (not true): You can't go wrong with Big 10 offensive lineman in the seventh round.

Move Barry Richardson to right guard and Rudy Niswanger to left guard - 6'6" is a little tall for a guard but I think he could be really effective in that position. He has size (320-pounds) and is decently mobile. The combination of him and Colombo on the right side would make a nice, and large, tandem. As for Rudy, he's not good enough to play center. That's really the only way I can put it. He has the intelligence to play the position, but he is not athletic and tough enough to start there (and yes, I know I'm saying this all on the results of three terrible games). I think Niswanger would be a nice left guard because of his intelligence and because you can give more help to your guard than you can to a center in one-on-one situations (I could be wrong on that, but I feel confident this is true).

Trade or release Brian Waters - He's done.

Demote Bernard Pollard to Special Teams and only play him at safety in situations where Darren McFadden is running for a 50-yard gain and we need someone with 4.17 speed to track him down and piss off Arkansas fans - I DISLIKE BERNARD POLLARD AS A SAFETY IMMENSELY!!! That is all.

Pre-Season Post of the Century

2008-09-05T20:21:00.000-07:00

Oh blog. How long it has been since I have remembered to write on you. Do you miss being used by me to plug every reason why Chris is the luckiest son of a bitch alive? Do miss my passionate pleas that Chris Benson for T.J. Houshmandzadeh is the worst trade in the history of mankind because Benson’s value is SOOOO much greater? Do you miss my “luck factor” reasoning? Do you miss my conclusion that Philip Rivers is the greatest quarterback in the history of great San Diego quarterbacks from 2007? Or that Kige Ramsey is a genius? Or my obsession with getting Herm Edwards fired? My hatred for Anquan Boldin? Yeah… I didn’t either.

Before I get on with this, I want to pose a question to you: Would you pay $30 (more specifically, $29.95) to watch Mizzou destroy Southeast Missouri State (who barely beat freaking SBU in overtime… at home) on Pay Per View? Would you really do that Erik? Really???

Mr. Joel of Schilb

Joel was kind enough to not show up to the draft. How gay of him. And being the bastard he is, he used the “Brian Winckler Method” of not showing up to the draft while having the number one overall pick and coming away with a solid team. I. Hate. You. Really, I do. You’re terrible fantasy baseball team suck.

Anyway, Joseph Addai, Marques Colston and Jerricho Cotchery to go along with Ben Roethlisberger. Add in a potential top five(ish) defense in Baltimore, Brett Favre and a solid tight end in Chris Cooley (and Ben Watson for that matter) add Schilb comes away with a team that can compete for a playoff spot. You’re welcome, Joel.

What Joel doesn’t know is that, under “Brian Winckler Method” stipulations, he will be trading Ben Roethlisberger and Joseph Addai for Jon Kitna and Kip Wells.

Prediction: Joel slips into the playoffs with the “four” seed.

Mr. Jason of Willey

Still reeling from the realization that Ben was right and both Erik Bedard and Aaron Harrang were going to suck this season, Willey managed to pull himself together and not show up for the draft. Thanks, Jason. Fortunately, for his sake at least, I was able to pry a list of people he wanted in the top 10 rounds. I stupidly followed that list.

Thankfully, Jason’s team still sucks. While Terrell Owens is the more likely wide receiver between Randy Moss and himself to repeat last seasons success, and Brian Westbrook will be the best running back in fantasy this season (mark my words Chris, because I know you already are), Jason simply lacks any depth. Clinton Portis is a liability in the backfield and Derek Anderson is setup for a sophomore slump (so that he can be released and signed by the Chiefs this offseason). Torry Holt is nine billion years old (I think) and Jason has almost no one of value to bring off the bench.

The good news is that Ted Ginn Jr. is poised to have a break out season and he has Jon Kitna. The Kitna thing is important because that means he will be acquiring Ben Roethlisberger and Joseph Addai in week nine.

Prediction: Will miss playoffs and lose championship game of the consolation bracket.

Mr. Tony of Allen

Hey, he actually showed up for the draft! Unfortunately for him, he may have been better off not showing up. Brandon Jacobs in the fourth round? Steven Jackson as the third overall? Kevin Boss? Outside of Reggie Wayne, you have no one to play the other WR spot. And by week five, when Larry Johnson and Seven Jackson are dead and Brandon Jacobs is declared a bust (because he, along with Ryan Grant, are the two most overrated backs in fantasy this season), you will have no running backs or a flex player.

Yes, I know predicting failure based on non-existing injuries is semi-faulty reasoning, but when you consider who is blocking for both Johnson and Jackson, their injuries from last season and their prominent rolls in their individual offensive schemes and I think you’ll see the writing is pretty much on the wall for these guys. I see each of their backups having more success this season.

The good news is I think Matt Hasselbeck and Hines Ward will each have excellent seasons. I also have wet dreams about the Minnesota defense (I need better wet dreams). Additionally, Aaron Rogers could potentially be a huge keeper steal (sixteenth round) when looking back at the draft at the end of the season.

Prediction: Will miss the playoffs and lose in the first round of the consolation bracket.

Mr. Erik of Johnson

Erik showed up to the draft – that was nice of him. I still think he is poopyhead, though.

Erik’s draft is littered with guys who are either coming off of surgery, a serious injury or have an extensive injury history. I understand that everyone gets hurt in football – minus Will Shields and Brett Favre – but there are clearly guys who seem to get hurt ALL the time. Guys like Steve Smith, Kellen Winslow, Donovan McNabb, Adrian Peterson and Vernon Davis. There is also this: Peyton Manning, Willie Parker, Laurence Maroney and Marvin Harrison are all coming off a season ending injury or surgery; Reggie Bush, Steve Smith and Plaxico Burress all battled injuries last season that either caused them to miss games or negatively impact their performance in multiple games. This means 12 of Erik’s 16 draft picks have some kind of serious injury red flag. Now, it is completely possible that all twelve of these guys will be healthy all season and put up big numbers, but I would bet that this does not happen. I would venture to guess that at least six of these guys will miss a week to injury and at least three will miss four or more games. Erik will have more of a burden than most owners managing injuries this season.

Of course, the good news for Erik is that his team probably has more upside from proven players than any other team – and Erik is the kind of upside. The health of Willie Parker and Adrian Peterson will dictate how well this season goes for Erik. Erik will also be watching Rashard Mendenhall (Parker’s backup) and Chester Taylor (Peterson’s backup) closely as they will they will be a two-headed monster Erik will have to deal with every week.

Prediction: Erik wins his division and earns the “two” seed in the playoffs.

Mr. Jeff of Weseloh

Jeff did not show up to the draft because he sucks. Yet, somehow, I think he ended up with a playoff roster. I hate it when this happens.

Jeff has a solid receiving core in Randy Moss, Andre Johnson, Donald Driver and Patrick Crayton. While Moss isn’t going to score 23 touchdowns, I don’t think 15 would be so bad. Andre Johnson is poised for a big season and Donald Driver is an excellent flex option. Patrick Crayton is a second half sleeper.

His running back options are not eye-poping to me, but I think are more than capable of getting him to the playoffs. A rotation of Ryan Grant, Willis McGahee, Jamal Lewis, Matt Forte and Julius Jones should get the job done.

Weseloh’s big guy will be Tony Romo, who I think will be the “2007 Tom Brady” of 2008. Not to say he’s going to break Brady’s record or anything, but I think Romo will have more than 40 touchdown passes this season. I believe this because of the weak defenses the Cowboys will play, the receiving targets in Owens, Crayton and Jason Witten and the explosive addition of Felix Jones. I think Jones adds something they didn’t have last year in a guy who can come out of the backfield and make a play in the receiving game. His speed and agility makes him a tough guy to tackle in the open field. Also, he should be fresh because he will not have to take the “between the tackles” carries that Marion Barber will own.

Prediction: Will make the playoffs as a “three” seed.

Mr. Chris of Wessley

Chris showed up to the draft, but he really didn’t need to until round three as he kept LDT and Tom Brady. But after looking at his draft, it appears that he really wasn’t all there until round 10 when he took Jeremy Shockey. He then took another two rounds off before taking DeShawn Jackson and then promptly left the draft. Chris’ draft is littered with bad picks and overdrafts. Michael Turner has no business going in the third round and I think will prove to be a bust and was the biggest reach of the draft. Chad Ocho Cinco is going to have a down season this year, which I think will prove to be his last in Cincinnati. Chad is batting a separated shoulder, which I think will hinder his production the first four weeks or so. Also the production of Mr. Championship along with an improved running game should cut into his numbers.

I’m also not sold on Tom Brady as a dominate fantasy player this year – and by dominate, I mean be remotely as good as he was last season. Look, he can throw 30 touchdowns this season (which would be a GREAT season) and still be 20 touchdowns short of what he did last year. Brady’s foot concerns me, as does his offensive line. What saves New England as a team is their weak division, which may save Brady’s fantasy value, but I think New England is on the downswing and is in need of an injection of young talent.

With this said, I do still think Brady will throw 30+ touchdowns, which will put him in the top five in quarterbacks. Also, I talked a lot of crap about Chris’ team last pre-season and he dominated the regular season. So… yeah.

Prediction: Misses the playoffs and will win the consolation bracket.

Mr. Andrew of Wessley

Andrew was kind enough to show up to the draft. Of course, he sucked it up in the draft, but at least he showed the decency to show up.

Let’s start with the positives: Drew Brees will have a solid season, as should Brandon Marshall; Jason Witten provides good value as a 12th rounder; Jonathan Stewart is a nice potential keeper. That’s about it.

Frank Gore and Marshawn Lynch are terrible first and second round picks. When exactly was the last time a non-pass-receiving running back has had a good season when Mike Martz was an offensive coordinator? Oh, and did I mention that Mike Martz REALLY likes to throw the ball? As for Lynch, here is my line of thought: Marshawn Lynch plays for the Buffalo Bills; the Buffalo Bills cannot throw the ball to save their lives; opponents will put 8 and 9 guys in the box to force the Buffalo Bills to pass (which they won’t); the Buffalo Bills offense equals the Kansas City Chiefs offense; the Kansas City Chiefs offense sucks. Other running backs include: Edgerrin James (hehehe…), Jonathan Stweart (good choice if this was 2010 – and it’s not), Rudi Johnson (the freaking Bengals cut him), DeShaun Foster (dead man walking).

Receivers: Wombat Tango Force? Who is going to throw the ball to Larry Fitzgerald? If you answered Matt Leinart, you’re fucked. If you said Kurt Warner, you’re fucked. If you own Larry Fitzgerald, you’re double-fucked. I’m not saying Fitzgerald sucks, I’m only saying that you’re fucked. Other Receivers include: Santonio Holmes (I’d like him if the Steelers weren’t a run first offense), Roy Williams (Calvin Johnson is going to steal all his thunder), Lee Evans (when exactly has he had a good season?) and Brandon Marshall (a second tier receiver).

The massive hole at running back in addition to the lack of a top wide receiver is going to kill Andrew this season… I think.

Prediction: Misses playoffs and loses in the first round of the consolation bracket.

Mr. Ben of Nielsen

Three words: Best. Draft. Ever.

Two more words: T.J. Houshmandzadeh

One more word: Championship!!!!!!!!!111111!!!1!!1!!111/1//1/1!1!!

In all seriousness though, I feel pretty good about my team (as if you couldn’t tell). I am confident my receiver are going to dominate this season. The combination of Houshmandzadeh and Braylon Edwards with Greg Jennings at the flex should serve me well. On the bench I have a potential breakout guy in Calvin Johnson and a this year’s Wes Welker in Anthony Gonzalez.

While I don’t think Carson Palmer is going to be spectacular or win me any match-ups this year, I do feel that he will not lose me any match-ups and will be a consistent performer. Philip Rivers is a good option as a back-up, while JaMarcus Russell will be this year’s biggest sleeper.*

* I totally do not believe any of what I just said about JaMarcus Russell.

My biggest question is going to be who steps up fill in the second running back roll. Marion Barber will be a touchdown machine, and I’m not concerned about him. I also have his backup, Felix Jones, should something happen to Barber. As of now, Darren McFadden is my number two guy – but as a rookie, I really don’t know what I’m going to get in him. My other running back options include Jones, Steve Slaton and Rashard Mendenhall – all of whom are rookies. I figure one of either McFadden, Jones, Slaton and Mendenhall will be good. Hopefully whoever it is will be good enough to not be my Achilles heal.

Pre-Season Power Rankings

1. Ben
2. Erik
3. Jeff
4. Joel
5. Chris
6. Jason
7. Andrew
8. Tony

Quick Thoughts on the Chiefs

Mr. Croyle: How nice would it have been if the Chiefs had just started him at the beginning of last season? Then maybe we could have gone out and gotten that Brett Favre guy or swung a deal for Brady Quinn or something. Instead, we have to go through a full season of something we already know: At best, Croyle is a backup quarterback. For perspective, this subject only rates a 3 out of 10 on the Annoyance Scale, but it concerns me that the Chiefs didn’t even try to go out and find a guy who could legitimately fill in and be the quarterback of the future should Croyle crumble (or, more likely, get hurt) by week eight. Mr. Thigpen ain’t it and neither is Huard.

I understand the arguments that Croyle didn’t have a lot of time to throw the ball last season because of how bad the offensive line played. I also understand that LJ got hurt and the wide receiver core sucked. I get this. But here is what concerned me about him last season:
· His decision-making was terrible: It doesn’t matter who is on the field when you’re throwing into triple coverage consistently.
· He couldn’t stay healthy for half a season: Can’t play if you’re not on the field.
· He couldn’t win a job that was handed to him.
· He doesn’t create or make plays: All good quarterbacks make something of nothing. The scramble, they run, they find ways to get the ball to their playmakers. I have yet to see Croyle make a “play.” Not one.
· Accuracy = non-existent

Other than that, he’s pretty good.

Mr. Huard: There was some talk last month that the Chiefs not starting Huard is a hindrance to the Chiefs development because Croyle is just THAT bad. I think this is false, because Huard is just as bad as Croyle.

Five Headed Monster: You think the Chiefs are regretting giving that massive contract to LJ? The Chiefs have managed to find four legit running backs who could have easily carried the load this season without LJ. Heck, maybe we could have taken that money we gave LJ and signed, like, I don’t know, a free agent?

Interesting Free Agents Available or The Chiefs Have Over $30 Million in Cap Space:

First…
Derek Anderson – Anderson has a large roster bonus due to him at the end of the season. If the Browns feel like Quinn is ready, they may cut ties with Anderson.

Now…
Tommie Harris, DT
Chris Snee, G
Albert Haynesworth, DT
T.J. Houshmandzadeh, WR
Roy Williams, WR
Lee Evans, WR (Yeah, the same guy I bashed above. Fantasy and real life are different damnit!)
Keith Brooking, LB

There are other players, but these are the ones I was interested in. Julius Peppers, Marion Barber and Steven Jackson headline the class. T.O., Brandon Jacobs, Will Smith and Daunta Robinson are also in the class.

2009 Draft Watch
- My campaign for James Larinitus for our top pick begins NOW!*
- Ball State Quarterback Matt Davis looked impressive against…Navy…still he seems like an interesting 4-7 round guy.
- Jeremy Maclin is the only MU guy the Chiefs are allowed to draft. That’s it. Only one… HE’S SO FREAKING FAST!!!

Draft Results (Format still being worked on...)

2008-09-03T23:22:00.000-07:00

Legend:	(#) - Times Kept		BOLD - Kept Player		* - Draft Pick Traded		^ - Did Not Attend Draft
2008 Draft Results
2008 Draft Results
Round	Joel	Jason	Tony	Erik	Jeff	Ben	Chris	Andrew
Round	Schilb^	Willey^	Allen	Johnson	Weseloh^	Nielsen	Wessley	Wessley
1	Joseph Addai	Terrell Owens	Steven Jackson	Peyton Manning (1)	Randy Moss	Marion Barber	Ladanian Tomlinson (1)	Frank Gore
2	Maurice Jones-Drew	Brian Westbrook (1)	Larry Johnson	Willie Parker	Ryan Grant	Carson Palmer	Tom Brady (1)	Marshawn Lynch
3	Marques Colston	Clinton Portis (1)	Reggie Wayne (1)	Reggie Bush	Willis McGahee	T.J. Houshmandzadeh	Michael Turner	Drew Brees
4	Thomas Jones	Derek Anderson	Brandon Jacobs	Steve Smith	Jamal Lewis	Darren McFadden	Chad Johnson	Larry Fitzgerald
5	Brett Favre	Torry Holt	Matt Hasselbeck (1)	Plaxico Burress	Andre Johnson (1)	Dallas Clark	Antonio Gates	Edgerrin James
6	Jerricho Cotchery	Tony Gonzalez	Eli Manning	Kellen Winslow	Donald Driver	Calvin Johnson	Anquan Boldin	Santonio Holmes
7	Chris Cooley	San Diego D/ST	Hines Ward	Laurence Maroney	Jake Delhomme	Anthony Gonzalez	Fred Taylor	Roy Williams
8	Andre Hall	Santana Moss	Lavernaues Coles	Donovan McNabb	Matt Forte	Braylon Edwards (1)	Dwayne Bowe	Jonathan Stewart
9	Justin Fargas	Shayne Graham	Minnesota D/ST	Adrian Peterson (1)	Joey Galloway	Felix Jones	Seattle D/ST	Lee Evans
10	*	Jon Kitna	Kevin Boss	Chicago D/ST	Tony Romo (1)	JaMarcus Russell	Selvin Young/Jeremy Shocky	Jay Cutler
11	Ben Roethlisberger (1)	Kenny Watson	Nick Folk	Marvin Harrison	Patrick Crayton	Philip Rivers	Ronnie Brown	Rudi Johnson
12	Jerious Norwood	DeAngelo Williams	Chris Chambers	Kevin Smith	David Garrard	Greg Jennings (1)	Marc Bulger	Jason Witten (1)
13	Benjamin Watson	Ted Ginn Jr.	Cowboys D/ST	Roddy White	Julius Jones	Steve Slaton	DeShawn Jackson	Brandon Marshall (1)
14	Ahmad Bradshaw	Ricky Williams	Tony Scheffer	LenDale White	JT O'Sullivan	Rashard Mendenhall	Donte Stallworth	DeShaun Foster
15	Wes Welker (1)	Sidney Rice	Earnest Graham	Vernon Davis	Tennessee D/ST	Green Bay D/ST	Mason Crosby	Jacksonville D/ST
16	Neil Rackers/Baltimore D/ST	Amani Toomer	Aaron Rogers	Brady Quinn	David Akers	Stephen Gostkowski	*	Phil Dawson

Draft Results from 2007

2008-07-19T15:21:00.000-07:00

Here are the draft results from last season. Keeping a player will cost you the round the player was drafted in. Keeper selections need to be in as soon as possible so we can set a draft date.

First Round
Frank Gore
Joseph Addai
Carson Palmer
Steven Jackson
LaDainian Tomlinson
Peyton Manning
Willie Parker
Reggie Bush
Shaun Alexander
Larry Johnson

Second Round
Travis Henry
Laurence Maroney
Drew Brees
Brian Westbrook
Steve Smith
Tom Brady
Donovan McNabb
Rudi Johnson
Maurice Jones-Drew
Willis McGahee

Third Round
Chad Johnson
Phillip Rivers
Terell Owens
Marvin Harrison
Cedric Benson
Ronnie Brown
Clinton Portis
Deuce McAllister
Reggie Wayne
Thomas Jones

Fourth Round
Larry Fitzgerald
Torry Holt
Edgerrin James
Antonio Gates
Marion Barber
Roy Williams
T.J. Houshmandzadeh
Carnell Williams
Marques Colston
Marc Bulger

Fifth Round
Donald Driver
Lavernues Coles
Randy Moss
Andre Johnson
Anquan Boldin
Tony Gonzalez
Plaxico Burress
Javon Walker
Matt Hasselbeck

Sixth Round
Kellen Winslow
Alge Crumpler
Jeremy Shockey
Vince Yound
Marshawn Lynch
Randy McCichael
Vernon Davis
Todd Heap
Ladell Betts

Seventh Round
DeShaun Foster
Muhsin Muhammad
Patriots D
Bears D
Ravens D
Hines Ward
Deion Branch
Joey Galloway
Fred Taylor Matt Leinart

Eighth Round
Broncos D
Darell Jackson
Chargers D
Eli Manning
Santana Moss
Jamal Lewis
Braylon Edwards
Adam Vinatieri
Mack Clayton
Chris Chambers

Ninth Round
Reggie Brown
Jay Culter
Julius Jones
Adrian Peterson
Terry Glenn
DeAngelo Williams
Isaac Bruce
Jerricho Cotchery
LaMont Jordan
Brandon Jackson

Tenth Round
Calvin Johnson
Warrick Dunn
Chester Taylor
Jerious Norwood
Tatum Bell
Chris Cooley
Tony Romo
Jaguars D
Bernard Berrian
Benjamin Watson

Eleventh Round
Vincent Jackson
Santonio Holmes
Dallas Clark
Ahman Green
Brett Favre
Joe Horn
Matt Jones
Ben Roethlisberger
LJ Smith
Jon Kitna

Twelfth Round
LenDale White
Donte Stallworth
Vernand Morency
Dolphins D
Mike Furrey
Reuben Droughns
Shayne Graham
Jerry Porter
Greg Jennings
Jason Witten

Thirteenth Round
Jake Delhomme
Vikings D
Michael Bennett
Chris Brown
Devery Henderson
Kevin Curtis
Nate Kaeding
Drew Bennett
Brandon Marshall
Derrick Mason

Fourteenth Round
Robbie Gould
Heath Miller
Jeff Wilkins
Eagles D
Eddie Kennison
Joe Jurevicius
Steelers D
Trent Green
Daniel Graham
Neil Rackers

Fifteenth Round
Panthers D
D.J. Hackett
Reggie Williams
Eric Johnson
Josh Brown
Cowboys D
Owen Kaniels
Wes Welker
Chiefs D
Michael Jenkins

Sixteenth Round
Michael Turner
Matt Stover
Chris Henry
Olindo Mare
Jason Elam
Brodie Croyle
James Jones
Dominic Rhodes
Stephen Gostkowski
Jason Campbell

NYG at GB

2008-01-20T17:20:00.001-08:00

Pre-Game

I do not want to think about the media circus that I will have to deal with for two freaking weeks if there is a New England/New York Superbowl. I cannot handle listening to Boston vs New York, Red Sox vs Yankees, Northeast sports crap. If there is anything I can deal with is a whole bunch Brady/Favre features. I can deal with that. I cannot deal with a whole bunch of “The Other Manning” features. Oh God not “The Other Manning” features. EEEEEWWWW. Please win, Green Bay, please win.

The key fantasy guys to watch are Ryan Grant and Brandon Jacobs. A big day from either of them means Andrew has all but locked up the fantasy championship.

Then again, the Superbowl is indoors. Brady could go off for 100 points. Maybe.

An update on my food intake: Skittles, sweet pickles, Gatorade, buffalo wings, pizza and Cherry Coke. The end list was better than the beginning of the list. You would think that stuff wouldn’t mix well. Well, you’re thinking right.

Frank Callindo is really good at those impressions. Too bad he can’t do anyone under the age of 98. And has anyone seen Frank TV? Is it even on TV anymore?

Its weird seeing a commercial dedicated to great offensive lineman and seeing Chiefs featured. I almost forgot that we were really good on offense once.

It also needs to be noted that Green Bay looks AMAZING in HD. I mean A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!

Troy Aikman looks like he going to die sometime in the middle of this broadcast. This is going to be an exciting game. I’m going to have to keep a body count.

If this writers strike continues, baseball games are going to get some insane ratings. Because between the Superbowl and April there is NOTHING on tv. Nothing.

15:00

And the ball falls off the tee! The ball falls off the tee!

Lawrence Tynes could go to the Superbowl. Damnit.

14:54

Didn’t take long for a fight to break out. People just tryin’ to stay warm man.

14:49

The fullback is the last guy I would want to be hit by if I were a Giant.

14:09

Followed by the tight end.

13:13

$10 says Buck gets too cold and mispronounces “Tuck” by the end of the game. Hey! Maybe he’ll get fired and banned from TV! YES! I have something to root for now!

12:46

There are crazy people not wearing sleeves. Crazy people those footballers, crazy.

11:36

Eli Manning still looks like he is 19 years old. Does he ever intend on growing up?

11:09

There are some awesome names in this game, such as the guy who just made a tackle. Too bad I can’t spell any of them.

9:25

How drunk do you have to get to feel warm at that game right now? Ok, fine, I’ll be the guanine pig on this one and find out…

8:14

Oh God, the Giants are driving. My worst dreams are going to come true aren’t they?

7:49

Plaxico Burress has about 90 catches on this drive. Who has him and why didn’t they start him? Oh yeah, that’s right. His quarterback is Eli Manning and its –1 degrees outside and dropping. Forgot. Sorry about that.

6:21

Has Eli been inhabited by Peyton? This is messed up.

4:57

You know, last week at this time, the score was tied at 14. Now, the Giants are finishing up the second possession of the game.

On a side note, Eli almost threw an interception… to a defensive tackle.

4:53

A field goal by the Chiefs’ Lawrence Tynes and the score is 3-0.

4: 43

An update, nine people dead in Green Bay – one of which is Tom Coughlin. Have you seen his face yet? It’s even worse in HD.

4:25

There is a band! There is band trying to play! No way! How the hell do you play trumpet in this weather? I am having trouble believing what I have just learned.

3:27

Okay, so when white people get really cold their skin turns red. What happens to black people? And why is it that the skin around the eye-sockets doesn’t turn red? Theses are the things I want to know.

2:34

Toomer has a Sammie Parker moment. Could have used that catch.

1:08

I’m not a big fan of Fox and the realization of the Superbowl being on Fox just sent a wave of depression through my body. Ugh. I can’t handle more Joe Buck.

:00

End of the first quarter. 23 people dead.

14:55

Just saw that offensive line commercial again, and I confirm that there were Chiefs on it. That’s messed up.

14:08

LOL! The Packers “forgot” to turn the heat on for the Giants heating bench. Funny.

11:59

Jumper, the film rippoff version of Heroes or a decent February movie? Discuss.

11: 46

Tyree can’t hall in a pass that would have given the Giants a first and goal. Instead the Chiefs add on to their lead with a field goal from Lawrence Tynes. 6, nil.

11:18

Donald Driver 90-yard touchdown reception! Andrew goes wild! After 20 minutes of Burress making Andrew feel like a poophead, Donald Driver catches a 90-yard touchdown to give the Packers a 7-6 lead. That was a 17-point catch by Driver. I guess Brett owed him for the OT pass that caused Andrew’s only loss in another league.

So I just saw a commercial naming the Sara Connor Chronicles as the number one new show. I didn’t realize there was more than one new show on TV. Huh.

10:31

I guess black people don’t get cold. I just saw one sweating. Weird.

9:52

BIGBY NAILS BURRESS, but Burress holds onto the ball. Where’s the slow mo? I’m in need of an orgasm.

8:56

Green Bay special teams have been trying to give this game away. What terrible decision making.

I could really use one of those 90-yard TD passes to Jennings. Anytime now Brett.

7:26

Jennings almost breaks one! DAMNIT! But Aikman says he’s going to be a superstar. Good tip for keepers.

6:38

Buck is really working on accenting the “T” in “Tuck”. I really want him to “Tuck”-up his name.

6:21

Both Special Teams coaches in this game need to get fired. And yes, I’m in a fire-happy mood.

5:38

Brandon Jacobs is amazing. Geez.

4:35

You know the play is going nowhere when the announcer says this, “The snap is fumbled, flags are flying and the pass is incomplete.”

Yikes.

4:14

Ryan Grant is not built for cold weather running. This is more Brandon Jacobs territory. I would love to see LJ run in this weather behind a good o-line. That would be fun.

2:40

If I were to do a Playoff Luck Factor Blog, Andrew would score a 1484. I don’t know if that is possible, but that would be my estimation. Did anyone see a big passing day coming out of this weather? Unthinkable.

1:52

TD pass for Jennings is incomplete. Story of my life.

1:34

Crosby nails a 37-yard field goal to extend the lead to 10-6.

Note: There will be no second half blog due to other responsibilities elsewhere. I’ll try to have the scoring updates up tonight. I’ll definitely have them up by tomorrow morning.

1:11

I want that Bigby guy. What do we have to do to get him? I’ll give you Croyle????

1:03

Harris is being owned by Burress. And I mean OWNED!

:05

The Giants can’t pull off a fast, long drive like they did last week so Green Bay will keep their 10-6 lead going into halftime.

Scoring Update

Ben
Philip Rivers = 4
Greg Jennings = 1
Ben Watson = 0
Stephen Goskowski = 3

Week Total = 8
Overall Total = 139

Andrew
Brandon Jacobs = 3
Laurence Maroney = 23
Ryan Grant = 1
Donald Driver = 24
Chris Chambers = 9

Week Total = 60
Overall Total = 243

Chris
Tom Brady = 10
LDT = 0
Wes Welker = 11
Sinorice Moss = 0
Donald Lee = 1
Mason Crosby = 4
Chargers DEF/ST = 8

Week Total = 34
Overall Total = 193

Casey
Amani Toomer = 0
Randy Moss = 2
New England DEF/ST = 9

Week Total = 11
Overall Total = 166

SD at NE Second Half

2008-01-20T15:10:00.001-08:00

15:00

…No, I can’t. Yes, I can. No, I can’t. Yes, I can. No, I can’t. Yes, I can. No, I can’t. Yes, I can. No, I can’t. Yes, I can. No, I can’t. Yes, I can. No, I can’t. Yes, I can. No, I can’t. Yes, I can.

14: 46

A drive and score here can really put SD in a bind.

13:26

INTERCEPTION! SD with the pick and all of a sudden SD can take the lead!

12: 34

Rivers is still alive. How?

10:12

Chambers and Jackson are really picking apart the NE secondary. If there is a weakness to New England it is there defense. They don’t play from behind much and most teams abandon the run early. But their secondary and linebackers (with Colvin being hurt) is very suspect and, in many ways, old.

9:59

I now predict that Rivers knee will blow out by the end of this game. I know Rivers didn’t have a great season, but it’s not like he sucks. I would certainly take him over Croyle right now. He’s going to be a very good quarterback (not great though) for a long time. That’s unfortunate for us.

It should be noted that I finally found time to order pizza.

9:22

Junior Seau makes a MASSIVE play to tackle Turner in the backfield and force another San Diego field goal. That is three times now that SD has had to settle for a field goal after driving inside the NE 10.

Field goal is good. 14-12 NE.

This is also a good time to note that my laptop sucks and cannot pick up any internet signal, making this whole process very difficult. I know MACs are supposedly turning into the “not cool” think, but I really wouldn’t mind a MacBookPro right now. Really, I wouldn’t.

8:36

Anybody else hearing the phantom whistles during kickoffs and punts? I swear I’m hearing something.

Did I ever mention the story of the first time my mom got drunk? I’ll have to do that later then won’t I?

(Teaser: She was 46 years old and thought that “Lite” beer meant there was less alcohol in it.)

8:21

Maroney finally has a big run for NE. Andrew should get used to this because I he is going to see tonight is handoffs to his backs. Well done by Andrew to pick three of the four starting running backs in today’s games.

I love this new Nike commercial for the new Jordans, showing all of the home film footage of some of the great modern athletes playing in little league and high school. It’s pretty sweet. I like those kind of commercials for some reason.

7:44

Maroney follows his long run with a zero yard run. Nice.

7:05

Finally, Randy Moss has a reception. Speaking of Moss, Casey barely got his lineup in before kickoff. One of his starters? Terrell Owens.

6:22

Another first down run for Maroney and SD defense looks a little gassed. SD needs to hold NE to a field goal if they want to win this game.

3:56

Remember the last time the Chiefs were in the AFC Championship game? I was nine, Joe Montana died and Daddy was still alive then too.

2:56

HOLY CRAP CROMARTIE WITH AN AMAZING INTERCEPTION OF BRADY IN THE ENDZONE! Wow what a turn of events! Brady losses four fantasy points for Chris! Andrew is elated! Chris does get two points from the SD defense though.
In other news, MY PIZZA GOT HERE!

2:20

SD is moving, which means they’ll get a field goal.

But now its 3rd and long.

1:48

Phil Simms just inferred that NE doesn’t like the way its going. You think?

1:44

An incomplete pass by Rivers forces a punt. But that pick by Cromartie saved the game for SD.

215 red-zone passes by Brady = 62 touchdowns and one interception.

:14

End of the third quarter means… I GET TO EAT!

13:22

Slow motion collisions! ORGASMIC! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

12:15

Touchdown Wes Welker. 21-12 NE. Anyone else see a run on Texas Tech receivers in the draft for the next couple of years?

9:12

You know your job as a punter sucks when you have the ball downed at the 12 and the commentator says, “That’s not deep enough.” Really? An 88-yard drive for a touchdown is not long enough for you Jim?

9:03

Laurence. Maroney. Tearing it up.

8:58

Brady is sacked and then slow to get up. You could hear the concern in the reaction of the fans when Brady laid on the ground for a little bit. I whish he would have stayed down.

7:04

Kevin Faulk catches and then rolls for the first down. And with that, the game is over. I’m going to eat more pizza now.

But not until I mention that Maroney almost died on the ensuing handoff.

5:06

Kevin Faulk with another catch and run for a first down. SD now only has one timeout left.

It should be noted that Chris is going to be the only one left with a quarterback. But Andrew is going to keep Maroney and either Jacobs or Grant depending on game two’s results. Andrew is looking like he’s in prime position to win the playoffs.

2:00

Now would be a really good time for one of those Eff You Touchdown’s to Ben Watson.

And, is anyone else getting depressed each time they mention the Lamar Hunt Trophy? Or are you at least getting depressed that there are only two more football games left until September? Ugh. I guess there’s the draft…

Which would be more bizarre/creepy/awesome, Reggie Bush, Antonio Gates and Jason Witten all standing at your door wanting to play or a talking cartoon referee?

:44

NE is going to the Superbowl. Bastards. GO PACK GO!

Scoring Update

Ben
Philip Rivers = 4
Greg Jennings =
Ben Watson = 0
Stephen Goskowski = 3

Week Total = 7
Overall Total = 138

Andrew
Brandon Jacobs =
Laurence Maroney = 23
Ryan Grant =
Donald Driver =
Chris Chambers = 9

Week Total = 32
Overall Total = 215

Chris
Tom Brady = 10
LDT = 0
Wes Welker = 11
Sinorice Moss =
Donald Lee =
Mason Crosby =
Chargers DEF/ST = 8

Week Total = 29
Overall Total = 188

Casey
Amani Toomer =
Randy Moss = 2
New England DEF/ST = 9

Week Total = 11
Overall Total = 166

SD at NE First Half

2008-01-20T13:50:00.000-08:00

Pre-Game

CBS AFC Championship Game Intro = Greatest. Intro. Ever. I want to kill someone (on the football field that is).

In terms of fantasy, the only good thing Chris has going for him is that it’s a day game, its semi-warm and decent throwing conditions. So Tom Brady may have a decent throwing day.

What he doesn’t have going for him is that Brandon Jacobs and Ryan Grant are going run for 750 yards in the NFC Championship game.

Chris needs a New England win and a big day from Brady if he wants to say in this thing.

Ben and Casey are pretty much out of it, but Ben does have a shot to finish third and possibly second if San Diego pulls off the upset and Greg Jennings has a big day in the Superbowl. Hey, Ben did win the luck factor this year so who knows.

15:00

Jim Nance with this brilliant line:
“Kick to Sproles and he knows how to return them.” Really Jim? Now, if you were saying this as a reaction to Eddie Drummand finally learning how to not fall down by the slightest touch, then maybe I’d understand that comment.

13:31

Rivers looks nervous planting on that right leg. This could be a long (or in his case, short) day for him.

13:21

NE MAKES A MISTAKE AND RUNS INTO THE KICKER! What are the odds that it doesn’t matter?

13:19

Phil Simms with some nice insight into a poor coaching decision by Norv Turner. What are the odds of a poor coaching decision by Norv Turner?

13:08

BRADY THROWNS AND INCOMPLETE PASS! BRADY CALLS AN INCOMPLETE PASS!

12:19
Three and out for New England. UPSET!!! (cue turnover for touchdown…..now!)

12:11

Umm… Sproles almost turns it over. I scare myself sometimes.

12:05

Looks like LDT will trade off series with Turner. Not a good sign for Chris.

What is a good sign for Ben is a nice first down pass from Rivers. SWEET!

11:04

ANOTHER FIRST DOWN PASS BY RIVERS! RIVERS IS THE BRETT FAVRE OF AFC COLD WEATHER GAMES!!! (Not really. Actually, not even close.)

10:20

LDT. Screen. One yard. Somewhere (probably in Bolivar) Chris is pissed for not taking Ward… or not.

9:57

Bud Light “Dude” commercials = Me

9:06

Phil Simms key to the game, “22 eyes on Brady.” That would mean a pretty good day for Moss wouldn’t it?

8:14

NE running game equals nothing early on.

7:36

BEN WATSON! COME BACK BABY!!!

7:05

No confidence in running game equals a bad pass on 3rd and 1, which leads to a punt. I project San Diego to score on this drive.

6:53

New CBS TV Show “Dexter” has to be the best/worst/creepiest/intriguing/reach of a show idea ever. A serial killer who hunts serial killers? And if there is a world where there are so many serial killers that they need to hire a serial killer to find them all, I’m killing myself. That can’t be the best sign for the world can it? We need more positive tv shows like “House.”

5:31

I missed on my prediction. God I suck at predictions.

5:15

Slow motion camera capturing a sack equals an orgasm for Ben.

Do you think people are going to be really pissed off about commercial breaks in Green Bay? I mean if it is going to be –897689 degrees and Fox wants to get in there 15th commercial of the last five minutes, do you think there may be a revolt by fans at the game? Or at least our first mass deaths at an NFL game. Fox = terrorists.

5:07

BRADY IS PICKED! Note: I count this as a continuation of the drive before by SD, so if they score my predictions stands.

4:06

CHAMBERS with an insane catch on the sidelines. How about that mid-season pick up for San Diego, huh? Geez, if San Diego adds a top end rookie receiver to their team, they will be unstoppable. Note: Norv Turner is not factored into the previous sentence.

3:05

I love passes to fullbacks. (Sarcasm).

2:59

HOLY CRAP! Rivers makes an insane throw into quadruple coverage that Chambers catches in the endzone. Too bad he was out of bounds.

2:56

Kaeding with the field goal (barely) and confirms by prediction that San Diego would score. I am a genious of foretelling events relating to football.

2:50

Is John Carney kicking off for San Diego now?

And what do you think Donnie Edwards is thinking right now?

What do you think Laurence Tynes is thinking right now?

What am I thinking right now?

2:13

Another 3rd and 1. They do convert with a Heath Evans run. But New England isn’t looking so good so far. And they have the winds at their back.

:48

Moss on the reverse for the first down. Pass in the flat to Faulk for a first down. So much for that “not looking so good” comment.

:00

Third and short for NE. Quarter ends. SD up 3-0. A touchdown to open the second quarter for NE and a failure to immediately respond from SD will officially end this game. A field goal or no score from NE to open the second quarter and this game will remain wide open.

Speaking of wide open, any body watching the Presidential race? GO OBAMA!

15:00

Subway commercial of guy wanting to photo copy his but is very disturbing. Moreso than that “Dexter” show.

Remember “Dexter’s Laboratory”? That “Dexter” show is going to ruin my view of what was a great cartoon for the rest of my life if “Dexter” becomes a hit show.

14:01

Slow motion reception to Faulk does not equal orgasm for Ben.

13:56

Touchdown Maroney. Bad news for Chris. Good news for the Patriots. 7-3 New England.

Also, I figured out the whole Iraq problem. All of our Marines are filming commercials. If we would just stop filming commercials, we could have this Iraq thing done by now.

13:31

Brilliance of Norv Turner: Decides to sit LDT for Turner. Actually, that might be a good decision.

12:36

Rivers has looked pretty good far despite his injury. It will be interesting to see if he holds up.

11:21

Holy crap San Diego is moving. Long pass to Jackson equals a first and goal from the nine. Where did all of these San Diego receivers come from? They have been all over the place during the playoffs.

I think now is a good time mention that I drafted Philip Rivers over Cedric Benson.

10:01

I just realized that we are only two weeks away from the best commercials of the year!

Oh, and a short gain on third and goal forces a Nate Kaeding field goal. He hits and the score is 7-6 NE.

Note: Today’s lunch so far: Skittles, sweet pickles and Gatorade. Yeah, I need a wife that can cook.

Also, I can’t live in world where an Iowa alum wins a big game to go to the Superbowl. I just can’t. I’m counting on you Rivers, I’m counting on you.

9:03

All of these Faulk dump passes are really annoying. Come on Patriots, I expected more from you.

7:19

Quinton Jammer is having one heck of a first half. NE finally got Moss off of Cramartie and they still can’t compete a pass to him.

7:09

An awesome play by Kelly Washington downs the ball at the four. This could turn ugly quick if San Diego can’t mount a dive of value.

6:27

Two short runs and now SD has a huge fourth down coming up. SD converts on a first down pass to Sproles. Man I’m glad the Chiefs didn’t draft him.

4:36

An ill-advised pass by Rivers equals a Samuels interception. It should be noted that Samuels is a free agent after this season.

4:28

Another Kevin Faulk catch equals another New England first down. I now project Faulk being the highest fantasy guy in this game.

3:51

Brady with a touchdown pass to Jabbar Gaffney means Chris is doing some kind of happy dance in Bolivar. 14-6 Patriots.

2:58

Another nice pass and catch from Rivers to Chambers. If the continue to throw like this, they’ll be in good shape. Too bad Rivers is going to throw a pick on the next play.

2:24

And Rivers throws an interception. Great.

2:18

I hope both coaches begin to figure out that it is too cold and too windy to be throwing the ball downfield all of the time.

2:11

Apparently, Kevin Faulk has stolen LDT’s skills. Additionally, I want New England’s line. Think they’ll trade it to us for Brodie Croyle (since we’re going to spend our first pick on a QB and all)?

1:32

Sproles: “He’s so little!!!”

1:10

HUGE RUN BY SPROLES TO THE 30! But it’s going to be reviewed. Not a good sign for SD since all review under 2 minutes come from the booth.

Darren Sproles is fast. REALLY fast. So glad we didn’t draft him.

:26

If NE not careful, SD could tie the game before halftime. NE doesn’t need that at the moment.

:18

Sproles can’t get out of bounds or the first down, which leave SD in a bad spot. Go for the endzone? First down, but risk not being able to stop the clock? Tough call.

:12

Rivers throws it away (good decision) and SD will settle for the field goal attempt. Kaeding is 0-4 from beyond 39 yards in the playoffs in his career. This one is a 40 yarder.

Kaeding sneaks it in and its 14-9.

One possession game. Halftime. Oh, boy. I can’t handle it. Yes I can. No I can’t. Yes I can. No I can’t. Yes I can….

Scoring Update

Ben
Philip Rivers = 1
Greg Jennings =
Ben Watson =
Stephen Goskowski = 2

Week Total = 3
Overall Total = 134

Andrew
Brandon Jacobs =
Laurence Maroney = 7
Ryan Grant =
Donald Driver =
Chris Chambers = 5

Week Total = 12
Overall Total = 195

Chris
Tom Brady = 5
LDT =
Wes Welker = 2
Sinorice Moss =
Donald Lee =
Mason Crosby =
Chargers DEF/ST = 2

Week Total = 9
Overall Total = 168

Casey
Amani Toomer =
Randy Moss = 1
New England DEF/ST = 5

Week Total = 6
Overall Total = 161

Year in Review Part II - The Luck Factor

2008-01-19T04:40:00.000-08:00

Year in Review Part II – The Luck Factor

There is nothing wrong with luck. As a matter of fact, luck may be the single most important factor in winning a fantasy football league.

When putting a fantasy football team, one is assuming the following things: health, good coaching, good match-ups, key players produce to their projections and that everyone else in the league is unlucky.

Luck is especially key in head-to-head match-ups. Does Tom Brady have a bye? Is Derek Anderson going to have a breakout game? Is Brett Favre going to throw an 82-yard touchdown pass on the first play from scrimmage in overtime? Is LDT going to rush for 30 yards on 20 carries but throw two touchdown passes? Is your team going to score a pitiful 56 points on the week but still win? Are you going to draft a player in the 10th round who becomes one of five players to score 300+ points? How about making a trade that EVERYONE deems one-sided, but you end up being on the losing end of the trade (Marques Colston for Reggie Bush anyone?)?

Again, there is nothing wrong with luck.

To calculate the “Luck Factor” I developed a Joe Posnanski-like equation that factors in the draft, weekly match-ups, points against, trades and injuries among other things. We shall start with the team with the worst luck and move our way up.

(Note: Obviously, there is not accurate way to calculate luck, so please just go with it and have fun reading.)

10) Team Winckler – Brian Winckler
Luck Quotient = -22
Special Factor – Ronnie Brown injury

The injury to Ronnie Brown was the beginning of the end for Brian and his luck. Brian lost three games (most in the league) where he scored 100 or more points and lost. This is headlined by a 171-157 loss to one of the worst teams in the league, The Zou.

Brian did not help himself trading Marion Barber III and Peyton Manning in the middle of the season for Lee Evans, John Kitna, Kevin Jones (who ended up on IR) and Larry Johnson (who got hurt the following week).

Even with the terrible luck, Winckler only needed to win the last match-up of the season to make the playoffs. He ended up losing to the Inoculators 56-49. The 56 points by the Inoculators were the fewest points scored by a team that won a match-up.

Brian, you are an unlucky bastard.

9) Weseloh Wannabees – Jeff Weseloh
Luck Quotient = -10
Special Factor – Adrian Peterson

The good news is Jeff had the best draft in the league. The bad news is he mismanaged and “unlucked” he way to an 8-9 record.

Adrian Peterson is epitome of Jeff’s season. First, he drafted Braylon Edwards (third best wide receiver) and Adrian Peterson (third best running back) in the eighth and ninth rounds. Then he traded them. The rest was history.

Jeff had more points scored against him than any other team in the league and lost the opportunity to keep both Tony Romo AND Adrian Peterson for a cost of a ninth and tenth round pick. Ouch.

8) The Zou - Erik Johnson
Luck Quotient = -10
Special Factor – Willie Parker

When Erik traded Lendale White, Donovan McNabb and Marvin Harrison for Willie Parker, Erik thought he was getting the league’s leading rusher to pair up with Adrian Peterson. Instead, Parker broke his leg and White out produced Parker from the time of the trade to the end of the season. Moves like that killed Erik.

What also killed Erik was his inability to win close match-ups. Erik lost three match-ups by 9 points or less and only Brian, Tony and Jeff had more points scored against him.

Erik’s acquisition of Adrian Peterson jumped him over Jeff.

7) Springfield JQ’s – Tony Allen
Luck Quotient = -7
Special Factor – Points Allowed

Only Jeff had more points scored against him then Tony. Tony also had to suffer through two losses where he scored 100 or more points.

Tony did not draft his own team which may have caused the poor karma.

6) Columbia Outlaws – Joel Schilb
Luck Quotient = -4
Special Factor – Marc Bulger

The turning point in Joel’s season was trading Drew Brees for Marc Bulger. It was all down hill from there. Joel was lucky in that he was fourth in fewest points allowed. The only problem was he could not score any points, causing the largest negative differential between points scored and points allowed.

Joel’s luck was boosted by picking up two wins scoring 75 points or fewer. Only 12 times this season did someone win a match-up scoring 75 points or less.

5) Krunk Smurfs – Jason Wiley
Luck Quotient = -3
Special Factor – 100 point losses

Every time Jason had a big day, the team he was playing seemed to have an even better day. Jason lost twice while scoring more than 100 points. Only he and Tony hold that distinction. Jason also lost two match-ups by five points or fewer.

Jason finished in the middle of the pack in points allowed and points differential. He also was fortunate to trade Willie Parker for Donovan McNabb (a huge need for him) and Lendale White before Parker got hurt.

4) Pollard’s Bonecrusher – Andrew Wessley
Luck Quotient = 12
Special Factor – Drew Brees

Andrew was the huge benefactor of the Drew Brees trade. Also, Andrew finished in top five in fewest points allowed, top three in point differential and made the playoffs despite having one of the worst drafts in terms of starting lineups.

Andrew would have finished higher had he not lost four games by 15 points or less, tied for most in the league. Andrew also was a benefactor of the Brian Winckler collapse.

3) Better… - Casey Allen
Luck Quotient = 17
Special Factor – Close games

Casey was 6-2 in games decided by 15 points or less, including a 4-1 record decided by nine points or less. Casey also won two games despite scoring fewer than 75 points.

Allen was also a benefactor in Randy Moss setting an NFL record for touchdown receptions. That doesn’t happen everyday.

2) Money Hungry Centaurs – Chris Wessley
Luck Quotient = 20
Special Factor – Brian’s failure to show up to the draft

Chris allowed the second fewest points in the league, scored the most points in the league and had the biggest point differential in the league. This was helped by his quarterback, Tom Brady, becoming the first person in the history of football to throw 50 touchdown passes in a season. Brady was aided by the “Eff You TDs” in accomplishing this mark. Additionally, Brady played out the entire season and did not sit in weeks 15-17 as some players did.

Chris did have a week were he lost a game despite scoring 100 points, but he was able to counter it with two wins while scoring under 75 points. Chris also did not deal with any major injuries and traded the one player who did end up on the IR (Cedric Benson) for what would end up being his best receiver (T.J. Houshmandzadeh).

One of the biggest things for Chris was Brian failing to show up to the draft. As a result, Chris was able to guarantee the selection of LDT and lock up the first and third highest scoring players in fantasy.

1) Kansas City Inoculators – Ben Nielsen
Luck Quotient = 25
Special Factor – Points allowed

Ben lucked out more than any other team in the league. Ben scored the third fewest points, but gave up the fewest points by a significant margin.

This was accented at the end of the season. The Inoculators put up 50, 54 and 56 points in weeks 15-17 and still made the playoffs. Nielsen also started the season 0-4 and did not have a player score more than 250 points on his roster – the only playoff team to not have a player of that caliber.

***

It should be noted that the four teams to have positive Luck Quotients were also the four playoff teams. To be in a position to win in fantasy you need luck and luck, this season, was very top heavy.

Year in Review Part I - The Draft

2008-01-17T15:19:00.000-08:00

With the fantasy season over and the playoffs almost wrapped up, I thought it would be interesting to statistically breakdown each individual team’s draft and then rank them. While doing this, I was surprised to see who truly had successful drafts and how that related to each individual team’s season.

Basically what I did was add up the total points scored by each team as if transactions were not allowed and we were all stuck with what we drafted. It should be noted that I did not adjust the scoring for bye weeks or for match-ups so that the management equation would be eliminated.

So let’s start with the worst statistical draft and work our way up.

Glossery:
Total Roster Points (TRP) = Starters + Bench points
Total Starter Points (TSP) = Total points of best starting lineup
Total Bench Points (TBP) = Total points of players who were not included in the starting lineup
Difference = Point differential between draft starting lineup and actual fantasy points scored during the regular season (Note: It should be remembered that trades and free agent pickups are included in the actual points.)

10) The Zou – Erik Johnson
TRP – 1826
TSP – 1321
TBP – 505
Difference - +273
Preseason Evaluation – Middle Four

I am actually surprised by this. I knew Erik had a poor start, but I thought that was a direct relation to who he was playing that week, but apparently not. Erik was significantly behind the ninth place statistical draft (113 points), had the worst starting lineup and had the eighth ranked bench. Basically, he really had a crappy draft.

Here was Erik’s draft in the order he chose them (Erik had the fifth pick overall):
Player (points scored) * = starter
Larry Johnson (107)
Travis Henry (106)
Thomas Jones (152)*
Larry Fitzgerald (209)*
Lee Evans (123)*
Kellen Winslow (148)*
Matt Leinart (27)
Denver Def/ST (92)*
Brandon Jackson (46)
Calvin Johnson (108)
John Kitna (195)*
Lendale White (170)*
Derrek Mason (130)*
Robbie Gould (102)*
Michael Jenkins (70)
Michael Turner (41)

It should be noted that zero of Erik’s selections are on his final roster.

9) Columbia Outlaws – Joel Schilb
TRP – 1949
TSP – 1434
TBP – 515
Difference – (-177)
Preseason Evaluation – Middle Four

Joel had a rough go of it in his first year of playing fantasy football so I’ll lay off of him this time. I am doing this mostly because I foolishly (yes, foolishly) traded Marques Colston to him for Reggie Bush. That turned out to be a terrible trade for me.

Joel was also riddle with injuries. Three of his top six picks were injured for most of the season. Two players (Jeremy Shockey and Deuce McAllister were placed on IR).

His draft was as follows (Joel had the 10th pick in the draft):
Reggie Bush (125)
Drew Brees (274)*
Deuce McAllister (5)
Edgerine James (187)*
Javon Walker (36)
Jeremy Shockey (78)*
Joey Galloway (155)*
San Diego DEF/ST (193)*
Jerricho Cotchery (140)*
Chester Taylor (147)*
Ben Roethlisberger (248)
Vernon Morency (25)
Drew Bennett (51)
Jeff Wilkins (82)*
Wes Welker (178)*
Chris Henry (25)

The Wes Welker pick was excellent and he got good value in the Big Ben and Chester Taylor picks. Unfortunately for Joel, he didn’t get a 200+ non-quarterback player to go with defense and quarterback. That, poor management and injuries really killed him in the end.

8) Springfield JQ’s – Tony Allen
TRP – 2000
TSP – 1439
TBP – 561
Difference - +57
Preseason Evaluation – Bottom Three

Tony was not present for the draft, thus we will not evaluate it with much detail other than to say he had a better start than Erik and Joel.

7) Better… - Casey Allen
TRP – 1939
TSP – 1516
TBP – 423
Difference - +76
Preseason Evaluation – Middle Four

Casey only made about four or five good selections. But when Casey hit, he hit. The 596 total combine points of Terrell Owens and Randy Moss was complemented by the 251 points season by Carson Palmer. New England’s defense also produced big for Casey.

What killed Casey’s ranking was the he had the worst bench in the draft and the next to last total point roster. Casey’s season was saved by Owens, Moss, Palmer and NE’s defense.

Here was Casey’s draft (Casey had the ninth pick in the draft):
Carson Palmer (251)*
Rudi Johnson (79)*
Terrell Owens (257)*
Cadillac Williams (35)
Randy Moss (339)*
Todd Heap (27)
New England (178)*
Adam Vinatieri (89)*
Julius Jones (79)*
Jacksonville DEF/ST (128)
Dallas Clark (121)*
Joey Porter (99)
Michael Bennett (36)
Trent Green (50)
Reggie Williams (123)*
Dominic Rhodes (48)

6) Team Winckler – Brian Winckler
TRP – 1826
TSP – 1321
TBP – 505
Difference - +71
Preseason Evaluation – Top Three

Brian did not draft his team and will receive the same treatment of Tony.

5) Pollards Bonecrushers – Andrew Wessley
TRP – 2085
TSP – 1409
TBP – 697
Difference - +311
Preseason Evaluation – Middle Four

Andrew did not have a spectacular draft but it wasn’t a terrible draft. He did not end up in the playoffs as a result of his draft, but he did not hurt himself so badly as to make it impossible to end up in the playoffs. Ultimately, his pre-season decision to trade Marc Bulger to the Outlaws for Drew Brees was the difference in the Bonecrushers season.

Andrew could have had a top three rated draft had his first overall pick not busted on him. At the time, Peyton Manning, LDT and Steven Jackson were off the board. Had Andrew selected Joseph Addai over Frank Gore, he may have overtaken the number one seed in the playoffs.

His draft was as follows (Andrew picked fourth overall):
Frank Gore (181)*
Willis McGahee (200)*
Chad Johnson (218)*
Marc Bulger (115)
Donald Driver (119)
Brandon Jacobs (165)*
DeShaun Foster (110)
Chris Chambers (124)
Reggie Brown (145)*
Ben Watson (74)
Vincent Jackson (73)
Jason Witten (167)*
Jake Delhomme (61)*
Neil Rackers (94)*
Carolina DEF/ST (97)*
Jason Campbell (142)*

4) Money Hungry Centaurs – Chris Wessley
TRP – 2260
TSP – 1686
TBP – 574
Difference - +160
Preseason Evaluation – Top Three

Rounds three through sixteen were not all that impressive minus the Lewis and Favre pick. LDT and Brady insane season skew Chris’ overall numbers. At the same time, he did draft LDT and Brady which basically won him the league. So grading Chris’ draft was difficult.

Ultimately, it came down to the overall draft and not just two or three great picks. Things may have been different had Williams and Glenn not gotten hurt. Three Chris Cooley pick was nice, as was the Josh Brown selection.

Evaluating this draft is hurting my head so I’m going to stop here.

Here is Chris’ draft (Chris had the second overall pick):
LDT (324)*
Tom Brady (418)*
Cedric Benson (97)*
Roy Williams (130)*
Anquan Boldin (145)*
Randy McMichael (55)
Baltimore DEF/ST (96)*
Jamal Lewis (240)*
Terry Glenn (0)
Chris Cooley (126)*
Brett Favre (272)*
Ruben Droughns (60)
Devery Henderson (62)
Joe Jurevicius (74)
Josh Brown (110)*
Brodie Croyle (51)

T2) Krunk Smurfs – Jason Wiley
TRP – 2115
TSP – 1542
TBP – 573
Difference - +56
Preseason Evaluation – Bottom Three

Jason had arguably the strongest first five picks by one team on the draft. Jason also picked one of the five players to produce 300 points or more. The Willie Parker injury, lack of depth at wide receiver and top-heaviness of the draft was the reason Jason could not break the second place tie.

Here are Jason’s selections (Jason had the eighth overall selection):
Willie Parker (181)*
Brian Westbrook (308)*
Clinton Portis (230)*
Antonio Gates (166)*
Plaxico Burress (189)*
Vince Young (147)*
Deion Branch (98)*
Eli Manning (184)*
Issac Bruce (98)
Jarrious Norwood (88)
Matt Jones (55)
Miami DEF/ST (51)
Nate Kaeding (101)*
Philadelphia DEF/ST (85)*
Owen Daniels (82)*
Olindo Mare (52)

T2) Kansas City Inoculators – Ben Nielsen
TRP – 2120
TSP – 1487
TBP – 633
Difference - +16
Preseason Evaluation – Top Three

Bad misses in rounds six through eight, the lack of a top 10 quarterback and lack of another 200-plus-point running back or wide receiver prevented Ben from breaking the second place tie. Despite the poor picks, Nielsen was able to produce two top 20 wide receivers a top five defense and kicker and a 100 point wide receiver in rounds 10 through 16. The backend of Ben’s draft was arguably the best in the draft and most certainly in the top three.

Nielsen passed on a chance at selecting Kellen Winslow in round six and Braylon Edwards in round eight. Nielsen would end up with those two players later in the season, but had he selected them in the draft, he would have had the best TRP draft. Had he made those selections he would have had 2408 (top overall) total roster points, a starting lineup of 1682 total points (third best – within 11 points of the top spot) and a bench of 726 (top overall).

Here was Ben’s draft (Ben had the sixth overall selection – and talking in the third person is weird):
Joseph Addai (250)*
Maurice Jones-Drew (177)*
Philip Rivers (178)
Marques Colston (196)*
Laveranues Coles (102)
Ladell Betts (48)
Mushin Muhammad (67)
Mark Clayton (51)
Jay Cutler (208)*
Bernard Berrian (123)
Santonio Holmes (159)*
Greg Jennings (184)*
Vikings DEF/ST (164)*
Daniel Graham (33)*
D.J. Hackett (64)
Stephen Gostkowski (116)*

1) Weseloh Wannabees – Jeff Weseloh
TRP – 2329
TSP – 1693
TBP – 636
Difference - (-186)
Preseason Evaluation – Middle Four

Jeff had the best statistical draft of any team. He finished first in TRP and TSP and finished second in TBP. Jeff only truly missed on two picks: Vernon Davis and Eric Johnson. Davis severely underperformed and Johnson was just a terrible pick. Jeff got unlucky with three key picks (Marvin Harrison, Steven Jackson and Ahman Green) all missing considerable time to injury, but still managed to have the depth and talent to out produce everyone’s draft.

Rounds eight through ten were insane for Jeff and he picked up Braylon Edwards (third best fantasy receiver), Adrian Peterson (third best running back) and Tony Romo (second best quarterback). He drafted a top 10 defense in the 14th round to backup the top five defense he drafted in the seventh round.

Simply, Jeff had the highest producing draft of anyone in the league. But then he started trading people…

Jeff’s draft (Jeff had the third overall pick):
Steven Jackson (171)*
Donovan McNabb (212)
Marvin Harrison (28)
T.J. Houshmandzadeh (195)*
Andre Johnson (154)*
Vernon Davis (68)*
Chicago DEF/ST (171)*
Braylon Edwards (239)*
Adrian Peterson (275)*
Tony Romo (318)*
Ahman Green (46)
Shane Graham (102)*
Chris Brown (82)
Pittsburg DEF/ST (150)
Eric Johnson (42)
James Jones (76)

Statistically
Best Overall Draft (Starters + Bench)
Jeff – 2329
Chris – 2260
Ben – 2120
Jason – 2115
Andrew – 2085
Brian – 2022
Tony – 2000
Joel – 1949
Casey – 1939
Erik – 1826
Average = 2064.5

Best Draft (Starters)
Jeff – 1693
Chris – 1686
Brian – 1571
Jason – 1542
Casey – 1516
Ben – 1487
Tony – 1439
Joel – 1434
Andrew – 1409
Erik – 1321
Average = 1509.8

Best Draft (Depth)
Andrew – 697
Jeff – 636
Ben – 633
Chris – 574
Jason – 573
Tony – 561
Joel – 515
Erik – 505
Brian – 451
Casey - 423
Average = 556.8

Best Difference (Draft Starters to Actual Points)
Andrew – 332
Erik – 273
Chris – 160
Casey – 76
Brian – 71
Tony – 57
Jason – 56
Ben – 16
Joel – (-177)
Jeff – (-186)
Average = 67.8

Top 10 Picks
1) Tony Romo – Round 10
2) Adrian Peterson – Round 9
3) Bret Favre – Round 10
4) Braylon Edwards – Round 8
5) Randy Moss – Round 5
6) Ben Roethlisberger – Round 11
7) Greg Jennings – Round 11
8) Jason Witten – Round 12
9) Jamal Lewis – Round 8
10) Santonio Holmes – Round 10

Best Player By Round
First Round – LDT (Chris)
Second Round – Tom Brady (Chris)
Third Round – Terrell Owens (Casey)
Fourth Round – Larry Fitzgerald (Erik)
Fifth Round – Randy Moss (Casey)
Sixth Round – Marshawn Lynch (Brian)
Seventh Round – Fred Taylor (Tony)
Eighth Round – Jamal Lewis (by one point over Braylon Edwards) (Chris)
Ninth Round – Adrian Peterson (Jeff)
Tenth Round – Tony Romo (Jeff)
Eleventh Round – Brett Favre (Chris)
Twelfth Round – Greg Jennings (Ben)
Thirteenth Round – Brandon Marshall (Tony)
Fourteenth Round – Pittsburgh DEF/ST (Jeff)
Fifteenth Round – Wes Welker (Joel)
Sixteenth Round – Jason Campbell (Andrew)

Ranking First Round Picks
1) LDT (324 – Chris – 2nd Pick)
2) Peyton Manning (283 – Brian – 1st Pick)
3) Carson Palmer (251 – Casey – 9th Pick)
4) Joseph Addai (250 – Ben – 6th Pick)
T5) Willie Parker (181 – Jason – 8th Pick)
T5) Frank Gore (181 – Andrew – 4th Pick)
7) Steven Jackson (171 – Jeff – 3rd Pick)
8) Reggie Bush (125 – Joel – 10th Pick)
9) Shaun Alexander (109 – Tony – 7th Pick)
10) Larry Johnson (107 – Erik – 5th Pick)

Still to come… The Luck Factor plus Evaluating and Ranking the Trades and Free Agent Additions

2008-01-14T03:25:00.000-08:00

The Luck of the Eli (and Chris)

When we did the playoff draft and Chris took Eli Manning I immediately responded with, “You’re not going to play him.” Now, in “Ben Language” this means “you are going to regret that decision.” Why? Well lets take a look at the situation.

First, Chris already had Tom Brady and Brett Favre on his roster as playoff keepers. All he was looking for was a guy to play on week one of the playoffs and put up some decent numbers.

Second, Matt Hasselbeck, David Garrard, Ben Roethlisberger, Vince Young, Jeff Garcia and Todd Collins were all sill on the board at the time of the Eli pick.

From the list of available quarterbacks, I could understand not taking Vince Young and Todd Collins because they were both on the road against teams that matched-up well against them for their first ever playoff game experience. I do not include Garrard on this list, despite it being his first playoff game, because two weeks earlier he beat the Steelers at Pittsburg and Jacksonville did not need him to win the game (being as they would rely on Jones-Drew, Taylor and their defense to carry the load).

So basically one is left with Matt Hasselbeck (Superbowl quarterback), Ben Roethlisberger (Superbowl winning quarterback), Jeff Garcia (2-1 in his career in the Wildcard round) and Eli Manning (um… he played in the playoffs a couple of times).

Here are Eli’s stats heading into his third career playoff game:
2 games (both losses), 26-45 (57.7%), 2 TDs, 4 Ints, 274 yards

It should also be noted that Jeremy Shockey was out with a broken leg, the running game was struggling, his left tackle was playing hurt, Plaxico Burress was starting to feel the effects of not practicing all season and was still dealing with his right ankle injury and the Tampa Bay defense ranked second in the NFL in yards-per-game and third in the NFL in points allowed. Oh, and he was on the road.

Here are the career playoff stats of the other available QB’s (all of whom were playing at home):
Hasselbeck: 7 games (3-4 record), 150-260, 9 TDs, 6 INTs, 1788 yards
Roethlisberger: 6 games (5-1 record), 89-147 (60.5%), 10 TDs, 8 INTs, 1210 yards
Garcia: 5 games (2-3 record), 103-178 (57.9 %), 6 TDs, 5 INTs, 1150 yards

And he chose Eli?

I think this Eli pick is the epitome of Chris’ season. Chris hit the perfect storm and only truly made one “smart” deal.

First, when Chris picked up Houshmandzadeh, I do not believe he thought T.J. would end up being the sixteenth best RB/WR in fantasy (which he was) ahead of guys like Willie Parker, Frank Gore, Torry Holt, Steven Jackson, Roy Williams, Reggie Bush, Maurice Jones-Drew and Chad Johnson among others. He did not think this. He obviously felt T.J. would be better than Benson, which at the time was a stretch. T.J. was the benefactor of a terrible, injury ridden season for Johnson. Carson Palmer had to throw the ball to somebody.

Second, no one, not even Chris, new Tom Brady was going to throw 50 touchdowns. No one. Why? Because no one in the history of FOOTBALL had ever done that. Tim Tebow was the first to score 50+ touchdowns in a season in college and even HE didn’t throw 50 touchdowns. It should also be remembered that Randy Moss did not catch a single pass in the pre-season. This led to a seven hundred hour debate on ESPN radio about whether or not Darth Vader (aka Billy the Camera Boy) had made the wrong decision to trade a fourth round pick for him. Everyone felt they had the potential to be good. No one was thinking 50 touchdowns good. Neither was Chris.

Third, the only reason he got LDT was because Brian did not show up for the draft. Had he shown up, he would have taken John Kitna, forcing Chris into a tight bind of whether he should take Peyton or LDT.

Fourth, Jamal Lewis.

Fifth, if Anquan Bolden doesn’t catch a stupid touchdown in the Monday night game the first week of the season, Chris would have had the fourth seed, not the one seed, and may not have made the smartest trade he made all year which was…

Trading Ben Roethisberger, Anquan Bolden and Devery Henderson for Brett Favre and Wes Welker.

It is for these reasons that I will now start referring to this fantasy season as the Eli Manning season, because it was the season where nothing made sense.

Need more proof? Here’s Eli’s 2008 postseason statistics:
E. Manning 2008 Playoffs = 2 games (both wins), 32-45 (71.1%), 4 TDs, 0 Ints, 348 yards

Brett Favre’s Bill Clinton Approved Fairy Tale

I have come to the realization that Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers will win the Superbowl. Guaranteed. It is set up way too perfectly for them.

First, Green Bay will beat the Giants because Eli will suddenly remember that his name is not “Peyton.” The Patriots will then beat the Chargers because Philip Rivers will suddenly realize that his coach is Norv Turner and his name is not Tom Brady.

This sets up the Green Bay/New England Superbowl. Good versus Evil. Favre versus Brady. Favre versus Perfection.

The game will end with Favre throwing a 82-yard touchdown pass to Greg Jennings on the first play from scrimmage in overtime. You just wait. It will happen.

The Kansas City Chiefs First Round Draft Pick

I have changed my position on who the Chiefs should draft with their first pick (note: it will change again later).

The Chiefs have to draft a quarterback with their first pick. At worst, they will have the fifth pick overall and there is a legitimate scenario that sees zero QB’s come off the board in the first four picks. For example:
Miami: Glenn Dorsey
St. Louis: Jake Long
Atlanta: Darren McFadden
Oakland: Chris Long

Does this mean this will happen? No, but it is possible. And if the Chiefs have the fourth pick, Atlanta will be behind them, which means none of the top three teams will have any QB needs.

Why do I think the Chiefs should draft QB? Look at the playoff teams and where they got their starting QB’s as compared to their left tackles.

QB’s
San Diego: Philip Rivers, 1st Round, 4th pick, draft day trade – Pro Bowl
Tennessee: Vince Young, 1st Round, 3rd pick, Draft – Pro Bowl
Pittsburg: Ben Roethlisberger, 1st Round, 11th pick, Draft – Pro Bowl
Jacksonville: David Garrard, 4th Round, 108th pick, Draft
Indianapolis: Peyton Manning, 1st Round, 1st pick, Draft – Pro Bowl
New England: Tom Brady, 6th Round, 199th pick, Draft – Pro Bowl
New York Giants: Eli Manning, 1st Round, 1st pick, draft day trade
Tampa Bay: Jeff Garcia, undrafted, Free Agent – Pro Bowl
Seattle: Matt Hasselbeck, 6th Round, 187th pick, trade – Pro Bowl
Washington: Jason Campbell, 1st Round, 30th pick, Draft
Dallas: Tony Romo, undrafted, undrafted free agent – Pro Bowl
Green Bay: Brett Favre, 2nd Round,33rd pick, trade – Pro Bowl

Left Tackles
San Diego: Marcus McNeal, 2nd Round, 50st pick, Draft – Pro Bowl
Tennessee: Michael Roos, 2nd Round, 41st pick, Draft
Jacksonville: Khalif Barnes, 2nd Round, 52nd pick, Draft
Pittsburg: Marvel Smith, 2nd Round, 38th pick, Draft – Pro Bowl
Indianapolis: Tony Ugoh, 2nd Round, 42nd pick, Trade
New England: Matt Light, 2nd Round, 48th pick, Draft – Pro Bowl
New York Giants: David Diehl, 5th Round, 160th pick, Draft
Tampa Bay: Donald Penn, undrafted, free agent
Seattle: Walter Jones, 1st Round, 6th pick, draft – Pro Bowl
Washington: Chris Samuels. 1st Round, 3rd pick, Draft – Pro Bowl
Dallas: Flozell Adams, 2nd Round, 38th pick, Draft – Pro Bowl
Green Bay: Chad Clifton, 2nd Round, 44th pick, Draft

Teams that win and succeed get their quarterbacks in the first round. It should be noted that six of the playoff quarterbacks were drafted in the first round while only two of the playoff left tackles received the same honor. This is not to say that a high round pick should not be spent on a left tackle seeing as only two of the 12 playoff left tackles were obtained after the second round compared to the five quarterbacks who share that distinction. But to find those quarterbacks is difficult.

Consider that three of the four AFC West projected starting quarterbacks for 2008 are first round picks. AFC South has two, AFC North has three and AFC East has zero but has two high second round picks that will start next season.

To me, this would be and excellent first three rounds of picks:
1st Round – Andre Woodson Jr. – QB - Kentucky
2nd Round – Aqib Talib – CB - Kansas
3rd Round – Gosder Cherilus – OT – Boston College

But wait, it could be better.

The Chiefs have come out and said they will not trade Tony Gonzalez and Larry Johnson for salary cap purposes. But both you and I know that the two people who would most welcome a trade to a contending team are Tony Gonzalez and Larry Johnson. And we also know that each of them signed cap-friendly contracts because that is what Carl Peterson does. Yes, the numbers look staggering, but you and I both know Peterson left himself some loop holes.

Given the staggering amount of cap space the Chiefs have, their desire to add many young players and not sign too many free agents, the Chiefs could handle a one-time, one-year big cap hit by trading Tony Gonzalez or Larry Johnson. And knowing Tony, I’m sure he’d restructure his contract to end up on a contending team.

So here is my plan. Keep LJ because he has zero trade value. Second, trade Tony Gonzalez to Seattle for their first round pick this year (and more if you can). Green Bay is also an option. These two teams would work for two different reasons. Seattle would work because their window of opportunity is closing very fast. They NEED a tight end badly. Tony Gonzalez would complete that team. Green Bay is already built and has an opening window. They could afford to trade a pick for Tony to help separate themselves from Dallas, teach the young receivers and add a veteran target for Aaron Rogers if Favre decides to retire after this season.

This trade would give the Chiefs three picks in the first 35 of the draft. If this is so, the Chiefs could then practically rebuild their offense in one round and in one draft while still improving on defense. The draft would look as such:

(Note: the Chiefs have a fifth round pick from Miami for Trent Green and two unspecified picks for trading Michael Bennett and Lawrence Tynes. I will assume Tynes is a seventh round pick and Bennett is a fifth round pick.)

1st Round, 4th or 5th pick – Andre Woodson Jr., QB, Kentucky: Strong arm, accurate, semi-mobile and played well with few weapons in the SEC. He also produced back to back excellent seasons which allows him to stand out from the rest of the prospects.
1st Round, 23rd, 28th or 31st pick – Samuel Baker, OT, USC: Because he’s a tackle and he went to USC
2nd Round – Aqib Talib, CB, Kansas: Loves to tackle, has speed, makes big plays and will always have help up top in Cover 2 system
3rd Round – Roy Schuening, OG, Oregon State: A big, quick guard who could start immediately if needed
4th Round – John Sullivan, C, Notre Dame: Good size and I’m assuming smart since he went to ND
5th Round – Victor Harris, CB, Virginia Tech: Physical corner who could thrive in the Cover 2
5th Round – Allen Patrick, RB, Oklahoma: Fast, physical runner who could also play special teams
5th Round – Anthony Alridge, WR, Houston: Small, but runs the 40 in 4.34 seconds and can play special teams
6th Round – Craig Stevens, TE, California: Great size and is excellent in run and pass blocking. He is the opposite of Michael Allen in that he can’t catch.
7th Round – Art Carmody, K, Louisvile: Doesn’t have the strongest leg in the draft but he doesn’t miss 30-yard field goals. In other words, he’s not Justin Medlock.
7th Round – David Roach, S, TCU: Good speed and size at safety who could play special teams

I’d take this.

Who’s Left?

Ben’s Roster
Stephen Gostkowski
Greg Jennings
Ben Watson
Antonio Gates
Philip Rivers
Derrick Ward

Chris’ Roster
Tom Brady
LaDanian Tomlinson
Wes Welker
Mason Crosby
Brett Favre
Sinorce Moss
San Diego D/ST
Eli Manning
Donald Lee

Andrew’s Roster
Brandon Jacobs
Donald Driver
Plaxico Burress
Lawrence Maroney
Ryan Grant
Chris Chambers

Casey’s Roster
Randy Moss
New England D/ST
Dante Stallworth
James Jones
Amani Toomer

Ben
Philip Rivers = 20
Joseph Addai =10
Marion Barber III = 23
Greg Jennings = 19
D.J. Hackett = 1
Patrick Crayton = 2
Ben Watson = 13
Stephen Goskowski = 5
Indianapolis D = -2

Week Total = 91
Overall Total = 131

Casey
Peyton Manning = 34
Maurice Jones-Drew = 5
Julious Jones = 0
Donte Stallworth = 6
Terrell Owens = 10
Randy Moss = 1
Dallas Clark = 15
New England D = 5

Week Total = 76
Overall Total = 155

Andrew
Tony Romo = 11
Ryan Grant = 44
Brandon Jacobs =11
Laurence Maroney = 27
Plaxico Burress = 0
Bobby Engram = 12
Jason Witten = 8
Nick Folk = 4
Dallas D = 3

Week Total = 120
Overall Total = 183

Chris
Tom Brady = 22
LDT = 4
Fred Taylor = 4
Anthony Gonzalez = 15
Reggie Wayne = 13
Wes Welker = 12
Donald Lee = 1
Mason Crosby = 6
San Diego = 5

Week Total = 81
Overall Total = 159

TEN/SD Final

2008-01-06T16:42:00.001-08:00

15:00

For those who are interested, here is the projected draft order for next season:
Joel
Jason
Tony
Erik
Jeff
Brian
Ben (Playoff contingent)
Andrew (Playoff contingent)
Casey (Playoff contingent)
Chris (Playoff contingent)

Mock Draft
Joel: Reggie Bush
Jason: Brian Westbrook
Tony: Jeff Garcia
Erik: Noel Devine
Jeff: Traded for Cedric Benson
Brian: John Kitna
Ben: Peyton Manning (as to avoid Philip Rivers)
Andrew: Frank Gore (Gore owes Andrew)
Casey: Randy Moss, Terrell Owens and T.J. Houshmandzadah
Chris: New England Patriots (minus Moss)

14:54

SD picks up right were they left off with an awesome block in the back penalty. Clutch.

14:18

LDT finally picks up a fantasy point on his ninth carry of the game.

13:40

I don’t remember who drafted Chris Chambers but he seems to be Rivers only target left (aside from screens to LDT, which have not been called).

Chambers: 3 catches, 56 yards

13:26

Tomlinson with a highlight reel worthy one-yard run.

12:53

PHILIP RIVERS! Long pass to Jackson! I knew I should start RIVERS!

I am now learning that it is really hard to eat and blog at the same time. I thought you should know this.

12:14

Ok, so SD just pitched to LDT to get him out in the open, a great call. Only problem is that TEN is REALLY fast. I’ve never seen a defense close in on LDT like that.

10:58

STOP GIVING LDT THE BALL IN THE REDZONE! RIVERS NEEDS A TD!

These Whopper commercials are hilarious, I cannot believe someone had not come up with that idea before. The only problem with the commercial is that it is about Whoppers. If Burger King stopped selling Whoppers I would not notice because I never go there. I just wish the commercial was more believable and about a product I actually cared about like Fantasy Baseball magazines.

9:41

Nate Keading makes the field goal to cut the lead to 6-3. Additionally, LDT is pissed. I really hope the Chargers lose, even though that would mean that I would have no more quarterbacks for the rest of the playoffs.

Quick Big Ben vs Rivers comparison:
Big Ben: 18 points
Rivers: 5 points

I LOVE FANTASY FOOTBALL BECAUSE IT MAKES ME DEPRESSED!

7:55

I am really bummed that the Chiefs are not going to try to trade Tony Gonzalez. Imagine if the Chiefs traded him to the Titans. The Titans would have their missing piece and we could get two or three picks for him.

7:17

It’s the Tacoma commercial… Freaked. Out.

5:46

LDT with his longest gain of the day: a five yard swing pass.

3:38

I think my favorite thing in football is when player point to cleat marks or debits on the field to prove the pass was incomplete or that they were not out of bounds or something. If I were that player, I would over shoot the thing by ten yards to prove the player was down. It is one of my favorite arguing tactics by players.

2:35

TOUCHDOWN RIVERS!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m back in this thing! (By back in this, I mean, I’m screwed.)

10-6 San Diego.

:38

VINCE FREAKING YOUNG! He is in Rose Bowl Mode for sure. They are easily moving the ball down the field.

0:

Big Ben: 18
Big Philip: 11

15:00

LDT: 14 carries, 15 yards; 2 catches, 10 yards. Yeah, I did not see that coming.

14:07

A killer missed field goal by Tennessee. If SD scores at TD on this possession it is over.

13:18

LDT just doubled his rushing total with a thirteen yard carry. Is it weird that Rivers is going to have three times as many fantasy points in this game as LDT?

8:49

Instant replay should provide me with a touchdown pass. If this is so, Rivers will have 17 points. So glad I started Rivers. Never doubted it for a minute.

Dang it, no TD

8:42

LDT. TD. I hate my life. Excuse me while I go jump off the SBU bell tower.

LDT: 19 carries, 30 yards, TD; 3 rec., 19 yards; 10 fantasy points. Boo.

8:16

Tennessee runs back the kick! TOUCHDOWN! 17-14 after the two point conversion!

8:06

I lied.

7:40

Shawn Merriman finally showed up. He destroyed that whole drive for Tennessee.

6:57

I don’t care what happens, I just need Rivers to throw an eight yard pass. That’s all I’m asking for.

5:43

Average yards per carry:
LDT – 2.0; 11 fantasy points
Turner – 7.0; 1 fantasy point

Boo fantasy.

3:56

I have this awesomely bad feeling that Rivers is not going to get his eight yard pass.

W/O pass: 13 points
W/pass: 19 points

Once again, it is these kind of things that plague me in fantasy.

With Hackett and Big Ben: 63 total points
W/O Hackett and Big Ben: 40 total points

3:33

Young with the INT.

Please let Rivers throw the “Eff You TD”, please let Rivers throw the “Eff You TD”….

2:38

Come on, its 3rd and five and you get the first down the game is over. PLEASE THROW A PASS!!!!!!!!!!!!

1:53

After Albert Haynesworth jumped offsides, SD runs for the first down and will now kneel out to end the game. Boo.

1:37

Next weekend:
NYG @ Dallas
Seattle @ Green Bay
San Diego @ Indianapolis
Jacksonville @ New England

:44

Key players next week:
Philip Rivers: Can he have another good week?
Terrell Owens: Is he healthy?
Tony Romo: Has he shaked off the playoffs from last year?
Tom Brady: Did he contract AIDS over the past week?
LDT: Can he bounce back next week?

:03

I hate Norv Turner.

POINT UPDATES

Ben
L. Betts = 2
Sa. Moss = 12
R. Williams = 2
S. Holmes = 10
D. Ward = 0
P. Rivers = 13
A. Gates = 1

Total = 40

Andrew
M. Hasselbeck = 9
B. Engram = 5
N. Davenport = 16
B. Jacobs = 9
P. Burress = 3
E. Graham = 14

Total = 56

Casey
D. Garrard = 10
M. Jones-Drew = 19
H. Miller = 14
JAX Def = 16
D. Northcutt = 1
A. Toomer = 13
L. White = 6

Total = 79

Chris
C. Portis = 5
C. Cooley = 4
F. Taylor = 10
H. Ward = 18
E. Manning = 15
Si. Moss = 0
L. Tomlinson = 11
SD Def = 14

Total = 77