Saturday, October 20, 2007
Picks, Holmes and Oakland
Picks (Bold = Home)
Sunday, Oct 21, 2007
(Time - Favorite - Line - Underdog)
1:00 PM Baltimore (4-2) -3½ Buffalo (1-4)
1:00 PM New York NYG (4-2) -10½ San Francisco (2-3)
1:00 PM New England (6-0) -17½ Miami (0-6)
1:00 PM Tennessee (3-2) -1½ Houston (3-3)
1:00 PM Detroit (3-2) -1½ Tampa Bay (4-2)
1:00 PM New Orleans (1-4) -7½ Atlanta (1-5)
1:00 PM Washington (3-2) -7½ Arizona (3-3)
4:05 PM Oakland (2-3) -2½ Kansas City (3-3)
4:05 PM Cincinnati (1-4) -6½ New York NYJ (1-5)
4:15 PM Dallas (5-1) -9½ Minnesota (2-3)
4:15 PM Philadelphia (2-3) -4½ Chicago (2-4)
4:15 PM Seattle (3-3) -9½ St. Louis (0-6)
8:15 PM Pittsburgh (4-1) -3½ Denver (2-3)
Monday, Oct 22, 2007
8:30 PM Indianapolis (5-0) -3½ Jacksonville (4-1)
Priest Holmes
If Holmes comes back to play this season, this has to be the most amazing comeback in NFL history. Teddy Bruschi would probably be the only other guy who would come close. The difference between Bruschi and Holmes is Bruschi had something that has become a medical standard. Fixing arteries has become something that is typical and normal. The stints that are now in Bruschi’s body enable him to play.
Holmes situation is more of a "freak of nature" situation. The dude is lucky to be able to walk and one would think that taking another hit would certainly send him to a lifetime in a wheelchair. Yet, somehow, without surgery or extensive medical assistance, Holmes has recovered. That is rather amazing.
I can’t wait for him to come back and piss Larry Johnson off. And I bet Erik can’t wait either…
Keys to beat Oakland
1) The Obvious - don’t turn the ball over, limit penalties and limit big plays.
2) Throw the ball to Bowe and Gonzalez early and often.
3) Get Derrick Johnson moving early and often. Blitz him. Move him around. This is a game Johnson could win on his own.
4) Start Brodie Croyle… because I have to say it.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Picks, Reminders and Thoughts (this should be scarry...)
PICKS (Home in BOLD, Favorite on Left, Line in Middle)
FA Auction Reminders...
One cannot begin bidding for a player after 10:30 p.m. the day of the deadline.
Deadlines for bids are at midnight. If a bid is placed at 11:59 p.m., bidding on that player will continue until five minutes after the last bid.
Once a bid is placed, it cannot be retracted.
Anybody else think LJ is going to suck against the Bengals? I mean, there is going to be 10 people in the box all day. The Bengals are going to dare us to throw... and we won't.
**Draft and Free Agent Needs: QB, OL(s), CB(s), head coach and GM.
*Croyle not starting is a great decision. I mean, Huard is the future of this franchise and it is important for him to gain the experience of playing hurt and learning how to be tough. If Huard is going to live up to his third round pick, he needs to learn how to not be a pansy. Suck it up kid. ...Herm sucks.
*The guy bellow out ran a horse. How the hell is Ty Law supposed to cover him? We're f****d.
| Baltimore (3-2) | -9½ | St. Louis (0-5) | |||
| Green Bay (4-1) | -3½ | Washington (3-1) | |||
| Tampa Bay (3-2) | -2½ | Tennessee (3-1) | |||
| Cincinnati (1-3) | -3½ | Kansas City (2-3) | |||
| Philadelphia (1-3) | -2½ | New York NYJ (1-4) | |||
| Jacksonville (3-1) | -6½ | Houston (3-2) | |||
| Chicago (2-3) | -5½ | Minnesota (1-3) | |||
| Cleveland (2-3) | -4½ | Miami (0-5) | |||
| Arizona (3-2) | -4½ | Carolina (3-2) | |||
| San Diego (2-3) | -10½ | Oakland (2-2) | |||
| New England (5-0) | -4½ | Dallas (5-0) | |||
| Seattle (3-2) | -6½ | New Orleans (0-4) | |||
| Monday | |||||
| New York NYG (3-2) | -3½ | Atlanta (1-4) | |||
FA Auction Reminders...
One cannot begin bidding for a player after 10:30 p.m. the day of the deadline.
Deadlines for bids are at midnight. If a bid is placed at 11:59 p.m., bidding on that player will continue until five minutes after the last bid.
Once a bid is placed, it cannot be retracted.
Anybody else think LJ is going to suck against the Bengals? I mean, there is going to be 10 people in the box all day. The Bengals are going to dare us to throw... and we won't.
**Draft and Free Agent Needs: QB, OL(s), CB(s), head coach and GM.
*Croyle not starting is a great decision. I mean, Huard is the future of this franchise and it is important for him to gain the experience of playing hurt and learning how to be tough. If Huard is going to live up to his third round pick, he needs to learn how to not be a pansy. Suck it up kid. ...Herm sucks.
*The guy bellow out ran a horse. How the hell is Ty Law supposed to cover him? We're f****d.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Week 5(ish)
Week 5 Picks (Bold = Home team)
1:00 PM Houston (2-2) -5½ vs
1:00 PM
1:00 PM New York NYG (2-2) -3½ vs New York NYJ (1-3)
1:00 PM
1:00 PM New England (4-0) -15½ vs
1:00 PM Washington (2-1) -3½ vs
1:00 PM
1:00 PM
1:00 PM
4:05 PM
4:15 PM Baltimore (2-2) -3½ vs
4:15 PM
8:15 PM
8:15 PM
FA Note
Starting next week (Oct. 8 through end of time), those who win a bid on a player must place him on one’s roster by kickoff of their game. If not, that person is eligible for free agency. All previously bid on players (players from week one through 5) can still be placed on the bid winner’s roster up until their kickoff of the games starting Oct. 14.
So let it be written, so let it be done.
Travis Henry
I now declare that, if Henry is suspended for the season for his use of the “magic dragon,” I win that portion of the bet. No questions.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
For when you are bored...
Need some help with your picks? Here's Kige Ramsey to save the day!
And there is this...
LINKS!
Yet another reason why Herm should be fired.
One reason to not tear a groin muscle.
I have found the college equivalent to the Kansas City Chiefs.
Futbol!
What the hell is Maximus doing at Michigan?
Another reason to like baseball.
And there is this...
LINKS!
Yet another reason why Herm should be fired.
One reason to not tear a groin muscle.
I have found the college equivalent to the Kansas City Chiefs.
Futbol!
What the hell is Maximus doing at Michigan?
Another reason to like baseball.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Chiefs, Breaking News and List of Picks
The following is what needs to happen in order for the Chiefs to win Sunday...
1) Tavaris Jackson must start the game for Minnesota.
Jackson is a turnover machine and will give the Chiefs defensive playmakers a chance to score (because we no the offense won't).
2) One of the defensive tackles for the Vikings must get hurt.
Otherwise, Larry Johnson is going to have nothing to work with. Unless, of course, they trade back for Dante Hall and use my secret formation...
3) The Vikings defense or special teams unit cannot score a touchdown.
If this happens, the game is over.
4) Dwayne Bowe must run the wrong route on every play.
To this point, it is the only way we can score.
5) At least one drunk fan must run onto the field and disable a Vikings player.
Hey, it worked in that Florida-Mets game ... sort of.
BREAKING NEWS
The Gays have traded Justin Medlock to the Wannabees for LaDainian Tomlinson, next year's first round draft pick and a player to be named later.
"He's not (Marvin) Harrison, but Medlock is a solid receiver," Wannabees owener Jeff Weseloh said. "I think he he will be the key to me winning the league."
The Gays owner Erik Johnson combated criticism that the trade was lopsided.
"Medlock out-performed Tomlinson during the preseason," Johnson said. "I don't understand why everyone thinks this trade is unfair. Additionally, I feel draft picks are overrated."
Rumors say the player to be named later could be Chad Johnson or Randy Moss. A source close to both teams are discussing another trade that may involve Payton Manning for the now retired Greg Hill.
In related news, League Manager Ben Nielsen has committed suicide.
***
Even written down, it doesn't look fair:
Marvin Harrison for Larry Fitzgerald
Braylon Edwards for Derrik Mason
Steven Jackson for Travis Henry
Vernon Davis for Kellen Winslow
Adrian Peterson for Calvin Johnson
I have no other words to describe how terrible this trade is...
From now on, the Wannabees will be referred to as the Wannasucks.
***
Arizona @ Baltimore
Line: 7 1/2
San Diego @ Green Bay
Line: 4 1/2
Indianapolis @ Houston
Line: 5 1/2
Minnesota @ Kansas City
Line: 2 1/2
Buffalo @ New England
Line: 15 1/2
Miami @ New York Jets
Line: 3 1/2
Detroit @ Philadelphia
Line: 6 1/2
San Fransisco @ Pittsburgh
Line: 8 1/2
St. Louis @ Tampa Bay
Line: 3 1/2
Jacksonville @ Denver
Line: 3 1/2
Cleveland @ Oakland
Line: 3 1/2
Cincinnati @ Seattle
Line: 3 1/2
Carolina @ Atlanta
Line: 3 1/2
New York Giants @ Washington
Line: 4 1/2
Dallas @ Chicago
Line: 3 1/2
Tennessee @ New Orleans
Line: 4 1/2
Monday, September 17, 2007
Points, Monday, Standings
BREAKING NEWS!!! FIRE!!!
Chiefs Talking Points
Well, thanks Joe Posnanski. You have successfully initiated a quarterback controversy in Kansas City. This morning, Posnanski suggests in his column that the Chiefs should turn to Brodie Croyle now because the team seems to have given up on Damon Huard (yikes).
Herm Edwards didn’t do much to suggest there is no decision to be made. From JoPo’s column:
“‘Are you ready to start Brodie Croyle?’ I asked Herm Edwards as he was walking out of the locker room.
‘You going to start a quarterback controversy?’ he asked back.
‘Yes,’ I said.
‘I have faith in Damon,’ he said finally. ‘But I do believe Brodie is our future.’”
Neat.
In Huard’s defense, it does not help that Head Retard Herm Edwards and his mental midgets successfully pulled off the worst game plan known to man:
(Actual notes from the Chiefs game plan as obtained from Bill Belichick)
Offense:
3rd and Long: Run. Everytime.
3rd and Short: GO DEEP TO SAMMIE BABY! They won’t expect the 5-foot-9, 170-pound guy to go one-on-one with them in a jump ball situation. It’s brilliant! No need to put Webb or Bowe out there as decoys either. If it’s not open, take a sack and get the defense back on the field no matter what the situation is.
We made a huge investment into Larry Johnson so we don’t want him to get hurt. Lets limit his touches.
Dwayne Bowe’s route running skills have looked excellent in practice.
Special Teams:
Who’s this Devin Hester guy? Never heard of him. Let’s see if we can exploit their return weakness and create good field position. If he breaks one, I feel confident in the block shedding and tackling abilities of MVP punter Dustin Colquitt.
Defense:
If we don’t give up any points we might have a chance. Maybe.
Additionally, through investigative reporting, Jason Whitlock has learned that the Chiefs plan to run sweeps with Jason Dunn next week to throw the Minnesota Vikings defense through a loop.
I am torn what to do in this situation. Croyle needs a legitimate shot at proving he is the “future” of the franchise. At the same time, look at the defenses he will be facing in his first five starts: Vikings, at San Diego Chargers, Jacksonville Jaguars, Bye (aka Cincinnati Bengals) and at the Oakland Raiders. All of them, except for the Bengals, have excellent defenses. Even the defenses after the bye look daunting: Green Bay, Denver, at Indianapolis, Oakland, San Diego, at Denver, Tennessee all in a row. They finish with at Detroit and at the Jets. Yay. I guess now would be as good as any from that perspective.
Seriously, the Chiefs need a sizable sampling of Croyle to determine his future. The Chiefs are going to have a top five pick in the draft next year, maybe even a top three. They will have their shot at Andre Woodson, Brian Brohm and Chad Henne. But if Croyle proves to be promising, then the Chiefs can solves their left tackle issues for the next decade with Jake Long or Samuel Baker or we can replace Jared Allen with Chris Long if Allen decides to bolt and he is not franchised (though I think he will be). Glen Dorsey may even be an option. Knowing Carl Peterson I see us taking Limas Sweed.
Can Dayton Moore do football too?
Monday Madness
Game: Washington @ Philadelphia
Match-ups:
Inoculators - 69 (HA!)
JQs - 78 (Fag.)
Final
Thoughts: Well, at least my defense is doing well. Damn, I feel like the Chiefs. No wide receivers, underutilized backs, spotty QB play… I hate my life and Anquan Boldin.
Bonecrushers - 118
The Gays - 88
Final
Thoughts: There are a lot of jokes here: The Gays got boned; Bones rape the Gays; The Gays get anal raped. But I won’t say those jokes. Wait…
Smurfs - 74
Winkler - 119
Smurfs Remaining…
Clinton Portis
Brian Westbrook
Eagles DEF/ST
Thoughts: Portis is not going to play much do to injury, leaving Westbrook and the Eagles defense/special teams to attempt a 45 point comeback. It’s not out of the question, considering Winckler has no one going Monday night and the Washington defense will give up some yard and points. Still it’s 45 points and it’s the Smurfs. Therefore, I’m rooting for Winckler, the lesser of two evils.
Better Get a New Name - 170
Boldin’s Gay (aka Money Hungry Centaurs) - 101
Final
Thoughts:
Dear Cincinnati Bengals Organization and Fans,
It has come to my attention that your great franchise has a superb offense and zero defense. This was made evident Sunday in your 51-45 loss to the Cleveland Browns. A team so bland and terrible, they named themselves after the grossest color on the planet next to puke green.
Fortunately, I am here to help you. Though I may not be able to help you immediately, I promise that I can help turn your franchise into a championship caliber team and play the game the right way. No more of this “arena football” stuff. All I need is 21 points and I will build you a defense that can play.
We will win football games.
Please call me in January and remember, we play to win the game.
Yours,
Herm Edwards
Wannabees - 102
Outlaws - 121
Wannabees remaining:
Donavan F. McNabb
Thoughts: McNabb is more than capable of having a 20 point day, but I do not think it will be Monday. McNabb is still rebounding from his knee injury and does not seem to be fully back from the injury. If this were the second half of the season, I would say the Wannabees are in a good position to win this match-up. But it’s not.
Picks Standings:
Erik - H2H: 10 O/U: 10 TOT: 20 Monday pick: Eagles, Under
Ben - H2H: 10 O/U: 7 TOT: 17 Monday pick: Redskins, Under
Chris - H2H: 10 O/U: TOT: 17 Monday pick: Eagles, Under
Andrew - H2H: 9 O/U: 8 TOT: 17 Monday pick: Eagles, Under
Fight forces lockdown at Jackson County Jail
A brawl led to the lockdown of the Jackson County Jail Sunday night, according to media reports.
The fight apparently broke out over the Chiefs game, inmates’ relatives told reporters. It was unclear if anyone was seriously hurt, or how long the jail was locked down.
Jail officials declined to comment early Monday morning.
(From the Kansas City Star)Chiefs Talking Points
Well, thanks Joe Posnanski. You have successfully initiated a quarterback controversy in Kansas City. This morning, Posnanski suggests in his column that the Chiefs should turn to Brodie Croyle now because the team seems to have given up on Damon Huard (yikes).
Herm Edwards didn’t do much to suggest there is no decision to be made. From JoPo’s column:
“‘Are you ready to start Brodie Croyle?’ I asked Herm Edwards as he was walking out of the locker room.
‘You going to start a quarterback controversy?’ he asked back.
‘Yes,’ I said.
‘I have faith in Damon,’ he said finally. ‘But I do believe Brodie is our future.’”
Neat.
In Huard’s defense, it does not help that Head Retard Herm Edwards and his mental midgets successfully pulled off the worst game plan known to man:
(Actual notes from the Chiefs game plan as obtained from Bill Belichick)
Offense:
3rd and Long: Run. Everytime.
3rd and Short: GO DEEP TO SAMMIE BABY! They won’t expect the 5-foot-9, 170-pound guy to go one-on-one with them in a jump ball situation. It’s brilliant! No need to put Webb or Bowe out there as decoys either. If it’s not open, take a sack and get the defense back on the field no matter what the situation is.
We made a huge investment into Larry Johnson so we don’t want him to get hurt. Lets limit his touches.
Dwayne Bowe’s route running skills have looked excellent in practice.
Special Teams:
Who’s this Devin Hester guy? Never heard of him. Let’s see if we can exploit their return weakness and create good field position. If he breaks one, I feel confident in the block shedding and tackling abilities of MVP punter Dustin Colquitt.
Defense:
If we don’t give up any points we might have a chance. Maybe.
Additionally, through investigative reporting, Jason Whitlock has learned that the Chiefs plan to run sweeps with Jason Dunn next week to throw the Minnesota Vikings defense through a loop.
I am torn what to do in this situation. Croyle needs a legitimate shot at proving he is the “future” of the franchise. At the same time, look at the defenses he will be facing in his first five starts: Vikings, at San Diego Chargers, Jacksonville Jaguars, Bye (aka Cincinnati Bengals) and at the Oakland Raiders. All of them, except for the Bengals, have excellent defenses. Even the defenses after the bye look daunting: Green Bay, Denver, at Indianapolis, Oakland, San Diego, at Denver, Tennessee all in a row. They finish with at Detroit and at the Jets. Yay. I guess now would be as good as any from that perspective.
Seriously, the Chiefs need a sizable sampling of Croyle to determine his future. The Chiefs are going to have a top five pick in the draft next year, maybe even a top three. They will have their shot at Andre Woodson, Brian Brohm and Chad Henne. But if Croyle proves to be promising, then the Chiefs can solves their left tackle issues for the next decade with Jake Long or Samuel Baker or we can replace Jared Allen with Chris Long if Allen decides to bolt and he is not franchised (though I think he will be). Glen Dorsey may even be an option. Knowing Carl Peterson I see us taking Limas Sweed.
Can Dayton Moore do football too?
Monday Madness
Game: Washington @ Philadelphia
Match-ups:
Inoculators - 69 (HA!)
JQs - 78 (Fag.)
Final
Thoughts: Well, at least my defense is doing well. Damn, I feel like the Chiefs. No wide receivers, underutilized backs, spotty QB play… I hate my life and Anquan Boldin.
Bonecrushers - 118
The Gays - 88
Final
Thoughts: There are a lot of jokes here: The Gays got boned; Bones rape the Gays; The Gays get anal raped. But I won’t say those jokes. Wait…
Smurfs - 74
Winkler - 119
Smurfs Remaining…
Clinton Portis
Brian Westbrook
Eagles DEF/ST
Thoughts: Portis is not going to play much do to injury, leaving Westbrook and the Eagles defense/special teams to attempt a 45 point comeback. It’s not out of the question, considering Winckler has no one going Monday night and the Washington defense will give up some yard and points. Still it’s 45 points and it’s the Smurfs. Therefore, I’m rooting for Winckler, the lesser of two evils.
Better Get a New Name - 170
Boldin’s Gay (aka Money Hungry Centaurs) - 101
Final
Thoughts:
Dear Cincinnati Bengals Organization and Fans,
It has come to my attention that your great franchise has a superb offense and zero defense. This was made evident Sunday in your 51-45 loss to the Cleveland Browns. A team so bland and terrible, they named themselves after the grossest color on the planet next to puke green.
Fortunately, I am here to help you. Though I may not be able to help you immediately, I promise that I can help turn your franchise into a championship caliber team and play the game the right way. No more of this “arena football” stuff. All I need is 21 points and I will build you a defense that can play.
We will win football games.
Please call me in January and remember, we play to win the game.
Yours,
Herm Edwards
Wannabees - 102
Outlaws - 121
Wannabees remaining:
Donavan F. McNabb
Thoughts: McNabb is more than capable of having a 20 point day, but I do not think it will be Monday. McNabb is still rebounding from his knee injury and does not seem to be fully back from the injury. If this were the second half of the season, I would say the Wannabees are in a good position to win this match-up. But it’s not.
Picks Standings:
Erik - H2H: 10 O/U: 10 TOT: 20 Monday pick: Eagles, Under
Ben - H2H: 10 O/U: 7 TOT: 17 Monday pick: Redskins, Under
Chris - H2H: 10 O/U: TOT: 17 Monday pick: Eagles, Under
Andrew - H2H: 9 O/U: 8 TOT: 17 Monday pick: Eagles, Under
Friday, September 14, 2007
Info and Games
Rule Changes:
One cannot begin bidding for a player after 10:30 p.m. the day of the deadline.
Deadlines for bids are at midnight. If a bid is placed at 11:59 p.m., bidding on that player will continue until five minutes after the last bid.
Once a bid is placed, it cannot be retracted.
Bids can only be made in full dollar amounts. Cents cannot be used, Chris…
Fines can be allotted as follows:
Bidding on a player who is not available - $1 for first offense, $5 for every offense after words ie third offense equals $15.
Erasing a bid - $10
Bidding on a player who does not exist ie George Bush - $10
Violating the 10:30 rule - $10 (This fine is discretional. One may not be fined if the bid is placed at 10:31).
Game Predictions and Lines
The game predictions and lines will be used in tie-breaking situations. One does not have to participate in predicting games, but it will cost them in tie-breaking scenarios. Predictions are due by the first game on Sunday, including the Monday night game. Predictions can be posted as a blog comment, on the provided thread on the league page, or via e-mail to jayhawk3587@yahoo.com. One will pick the team who will win the game, followed by the margin of the final score. One picks the margin by selecting either “over” or “under”. An exact number is not needed. Each correct answer is one point.
Games:
Kansas City @ Chicago
Line: 12 ½
New York Jets @ Baltimore
Line: 10 ½
Houston @ Carolina
Line: 6 ½
Cincinnati @ Cleveland
Line: 6 ½
Dallas @ Miami
Line: 3 ½
Oakland @ Denver
Line: 10
Minnesota @ Detroit
Line: 3
Indianapolis @ Tennessee
Line: 7
Atlanta @ Jacksonville
Line: 10
San Diego @ New England
Line: 6 ½
Green Bay @ New York Giants
Line: 1
New Orleans @ Tampa Bay
Line: 6 ½
Buffalo @ Pittsburgh
Line: 6 ½
San Francisco @ St. Louis
Line: 3
Washington @ Philadelphia
Line: 6 ½
Seattle @ Arizona
Line: 3
Need some help? This dude went undefeated last week:
One cannot begin bidding for a player after 10:30 p.m. the day of the deadline.
Deadlines for bids are at midnight. If a bid is placed at 11:59 p.m., bidding on that player will continue until five minutes after the last bid.
Once a bid is placed, it cannot be retracted.
Bids can only be made in full dollar amounts. Cents cannot be used, Chris…
Fines can be allotted as follows:
Bidding on a player who is not available - $1 for first offense, $5 for every offense after words ie third offense equals $15.
Erasing a bid - $10
Bidding on a player who does not exist ie George Bush - $10
Violating the 10:30 rule - $10 (This fine is discretional. One may not be fined if the bid is placed at 10:31).
Game Predictions and Lines
The game predictions and lines will be used in tie-breaking situations. One does not have to participate in predicting games, but it will cost them in tie-breaking scenarios. Predictions are due by the first game on Sunday, including the Monday night game. Predictions can be posted as a blog comment, on the provided thread on the league page, or via e-mail to jayhawk3587@yahoo.com. One will pick the team who will win the game, followed by the margin of the final score. One picks the margin by selecting either “over” or “under”. An exact number is not needed. Each correct answer is one point.
Games:
Kansas City @ Chicago
Line: 12 ½
New York Jets @ Baltimore
Line: 10 ½
Houston @ Carolina
Line: 6 ½
Cincinnati @ Cleveland
Line: 6 ½
Dallas @ Miami
Line: 3 ½
Oakland @ Denver
Line: 10
Minnesota @ Detroit
Line: 3
Indianapolis @ Tennessee
Line: 7
Atlanta @ Jacksonville
Line: 10
San Diego @ New England
Line: 6 ½
Green Bay @ New York Giants
Line: 1
New Orleans @ Tampa Bay
Line: 6 ½
Buffalo @ Pittsburgh
Line: 6 ½
San Francisco @ St. Louis
Line: 3
Washington @ Philadelphia
Line: 6 ½
Seattle @ Arizona
Line: 3
Need some help? This dude went undefeated last week:
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