UP or DOWN?

UP or DOWN? My view of the playoff contenders and spoilers.

Team Winckler (8-4)
Last 5: 2-3
Top Player: Marion Barber II
Key Player: Marques Colston
Remaining Schedule: KCI, PBC, KS, WW, KCI

Thoughts:
There is nothing that really impresses me about Winckler’s squad. At the same time, he’s 8-4. But he’s also 2-4 in his last six match-ups. On the other hand he’s scored the second most points of any other fantasy team. Winckler is just a tough team to read.

One thing that could make the difference is a recent trade that sent Dwayne Bowe and Marshawn Lynch to The Gays for Reggie Bush and Chris Henry. Bush provides Winckler with his lone explosive threat (I’m not sold on Kevin Jones). Lately, Bush has proven it is difficult to be explosive win one never explodes. Bush has had one day where he has posted more than 15 points in a week and has scored 15 points in a week once. Bush has totaled a mere 14 points the last two weeks. I guess Winckler is hinging in the fact that Bush must be due.

Now that I’ve talked in a full circle, I’ll end it by saying I’m not impressed.

Verdict: DOWN

Money Hungry Centaurs
Last 5: 3-2
Top Player: Tom Brady
Key Player: T.J Houshmandzadeh
Remaining Schedule: ZOU, WW, CO, ZOU. SJQ

Thoughts:
The Centaurs are the most talented team but are also the most likely team to flop heading into the post season. Brady could be seeing reduced time if they are not shooting for 16-0. LDT could also see reduced time if they lock up the terrible AFC West in the next couple of weeks. T.J. Houshmandzadeh (CHAMPIONSHIP!) may be playing on a team that is ready to quit and play for a high draft pick. And Jamal Lewis may be the most over-rated sixth ranked player in the history of fantasy sports (73 points in two games, 72 points combined in other 9 games).

What will save the Centaurs is his weak remaining schedule. The total record of his remaining opponents is 22-38. The Centaurs should cruise to the playoffs.

Verdict: UP

Better at FF then FB I Hope… (Good lord, get a new name)
Last 5: 3-2
Top Player: Randy Moss/Terrell Owens
Key Player: Carson Palmer
Remaining Schedule: CO, ZOU, PBC, CO, WW

Thoughts:
Carson Palmer, Terrell Owens and Randy Moss have combined for 655 of the Better’s 1174 points (56%). BFTB could run into similar problems as the Centaurs, but should be fine with the weak remaining schedule. However, if the last playoff spot comes between the Centaurs and BFTB, the edge would go to the Centaurs. BFTB needs Dallas Clark, Earnest Graham, Rudi Johnson and the Jaguars Defense to step up if Moss and Owens lose time later in the season.

What freaks me out about this team is BFTB, if he makes the playoffs, has the opportunity to keep Owens, Moss, Clark, the Patriots Defense and Adam Vinatieri. Crap.

Verdict: UP

Pollard’s Bonecrushers
Last 5: 3-2
Top Player: Drew Brees
Key Player: Chad Johnson/Willis McGahee
Remaining Schedule: KS, TW, BFTB, SJQ, KS

Thoughts:
I look at this roster and I am totally unimpressed. This is also the same roster that scored 178 points last week. I don’t know what to think. If Chad Johnson becomes more consistent (33 points last week, 22 points combined the last four weeks). Willis McGahee has four tough match-ups of his last five games left. Brandon Marshall could have a big final five weeks and holds the title of “The Only Guy I’m High On For Andrew’s Team.”

Andrew’s remaining schedule has a combined record of 28-28. Not necessarily the hardest schedule, but it is one of the hardest (if you can say that) of the five teams competing for the playoffs.

Verdict: DOWN

Kansas City Inoculators
Last 5: 4-1 (won 7 of 8)
Top Player: Derek Anderson/Joseph Addai
Key Player: Jesse Chatman
Remaining Schedule: TW, CO, SJQ, KS, TW

Thoughts:
I’m tired of this “Let’s start 0-4, 0-5 and then win a whole bunch in a row at the end and make the playoffs” thing. Yeah, it’s nice to be in contention, but if it weren’t for Anquan Boldin, the Vikings Defense (Week 10) and the awesome week two performances of Maurice Jones-Drew/Reggie Bush/Laveranues Coles/Santonio Holmes (20 total points vs. TB, ATL, BAL and BUF) and I would be in the best position of any team.

Alas, I’m not 10-2 and am on the outside looking in for a playoff spot. My remaining schedule has a total record of 29-27, but I feel confident with my remaining match-ups. I’m fortunate in that all of my playoff guys are almost locks to make it, but they are going to have to play their starters the rest of the way out to guarantee their spot.

Verdict: UP

Weseloh Wannabees
Last 5: 3-2
Top Player: Tony Romo
Key Player: Andre Johnson
Remaining Schedule: SJQ, MHC, ZOU, TW, BFTB

Thoughts:
Weseloh has won three straight match-ups by leaning on Romo and a combination of Maurice Jones-Drew (Week 10), Johnson (Week 11), Kolby Smith (Week 12) and Larry Fitzgerald (Week 12).

All of the above named players have some good match-ups finishing up the season, which could mean that Weseloh will play a roll in the playoff picture. Weseloh already has wins over PBC and TW during this streak and will play the Centaurs, BFTB and TW as the season winds down.

If there is one sub-.500 team who could make the playoffs, it is this one.

Verdict: DOWN (but on the verge of being up, which kind of means I‘m up on them, right?)

Columbia Outlaws
Last 5: 2-3
Top Player: Brett Favre/Wes Welker
Key Player: uh… yeah…
Remaining Schedule: BFTB, KCI, MHC, BFTB, ZOU

Thoughts:
Brett Farve is injured and it may be one he can’t come back from. Favre took a shot to the elbow on his right arm in addition to separating his non-throwing shoulder. If Favre is out for an extended period of time, the Outlaws will be the front runner for the first pick in next year’s draft.

Verdict: WAY DOWN

Krunk Smurfs
Last 5: 1-4
Top Player: Brian Westbrook
Key Player: Eli Manning *silent laugh*
Remaining Schedule: PBC, SJQ, TW, KCI, PBC

Thoughts:
It’s tough to win when you don’t get luck isn’t it? There is no Erik Bedard or Aaron Harang (AHH! That guy makes me SO mad! HE WAS 16-6 FOR A TERRIBLE REDS TEAM! HOW DO YOU DO THAT?!?!) on this team is there Jason?

With that said, you still scare the hell out of me. Bastard. Fortunately, I only play you once, as compared to PBC who has to take you on twice. I would appreciate a couple of wins over PBC and TW. Thanks.

Verdict: UP(ish)

The Zou
Last 5: 2-3
Top Player: Peyton Manning/Adrian Peterson
Key Player: Willie Parker
Remaining Schedule: MHC, BFTB, WW, MHC, CO

Thoughts:
I hate you and your dirty cheating Tigers. You suck. Tyus Edney! Fifth Down! Flea Kicker! Chase Daniel picks his nose (I still don’t understand why that is a big deal)! MIZZOU supports slavery! Sheryl Crow sucks! Brad Pitt dropped out! Satan is a MU fan! DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!

Verdict: YOU SUCK!

Springfield JQ’s
Last 5: 2-3
Top Player: Matt Hasselbeck (that’s not a joke)
Key Player: N/A
Remaining Schedule: WW, KS, KCI, PBC, MHC

Thoughts:
Ouch.

Verdict: ALL KINDS OF DOWN

And now, your moment of Zen
(Oh, the beauty...):